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Thanks for the seething condescension! Not sure why I deserved that.
It must be nice to have unlimited reproduction options at all stages. It's something you obviously take for granted.
Sorry, I wasn't actually directing that at you. Its just the number of post where guys are worried about getting tricked into fatherhood and they all talk about planning on getting the V, but never actually do it. Guess you just caught me in a crappy mood.
Actually I had a tubal. Best thing I've ever done for myself.
Sorry, I wasn't actually directing that at you. Its just the number of post where guys are worried about getting tricked into fatherhood and they all talk about planning on getting the V, but never actually do it. Guess you just caught me in a crappy mood.
Actually I had a tubal. Best thing I've ever done for myself.
Any guy who is that afraid of getting "duped" into having a child should probably take serious measures to prevent it from happening, be that going the vasectomy route, or just remaining celibate, honestly. I seriously can't imagine what it must be like to actively fear that every person you consider becoming intimate with must be looking to trap you and ********* over in some way. It's no surprise to me that people who feel this way are often men who feel unable to find success in relationships.
Having said all that, what does everyone think of a single, never-married, childless man getting a vasectomy? Are there any other men in the same boat as far as relationship and children status that have gone ahead with the procedure? Can I expect to get any flak/resistance from my doctor?
Any and all thoughts are welcome.
Thanks!
Spouse isn't on message boards, but I am certain in knowing his thoughts: he was absolutely childfree; held off until marriage until his 30s because he never came across someone as firm in their stance as he was (weird thing: we never discussed the prospect of kids until we decided to marry. seems we just "knew" that fact about one another). He had ammunition to defend his stance to a doctor by saying "I lived two doors down from my brother, who (happily) raised a brood of five. I know what I'm not missing out on." So, it helps to have proof of certainty. And if you are thinking about freezing your sperm, it would help to be well-educated on the process, perhaps even have already discussed it with a facility. Walk into a doctor's office and airily toss out the "oh, I'll freeze a few wigglers, just in case" and you might get turned right out.
My experience in the childfree community over the last couple of decades has shown that men have an easier time getting a vasectomy than woman who want permanent sterilization. If you go to a place like Planned Parenthood (like Spouse did) you may not encounter as much grilling as a urologist. Just walk in with a confidence that you know this is for the best and understand the consequences.
Any guy who is that afraid of getting "duped" into having a child should probably take serious measures to prevent it from happening, be that going the vasectomy route, or just remaining celibate, honestly. I seriously can't imagine what it must be like to actively fear that every person you consider becoming intimate with must be looking to trap you and ********* over in some way. It's no surprise to me that people who feel this way are often men who feel unable to find success in relationships.
...just wow. Condescending, much? Kindly point out where I stated that I believe EVERY woman to be that way.
I've made good choices in my life, have built up a decent amount of assets at the age of 34. I'm not looking to give them away. It only takes ONE woman with a nefarious agenda to screw it all up.
I find your attitude extremely entitled and bitter. It must be nice to have all those reproductive choices that men don't have.
But that's how a lot of women see things these days: Women have choices, men have obligations. You're exactly the type I'm looking to steer clear of. Read: The only person whose opinion matters is your own.
For clarification, I'm not currently dating anyone.
Beyond that, I don't see how acknowledging that there are some very bad women out there who have an uncanny ability to conceal their true nature, which I have recent and firsthand knowledge of, automatically indicates a problem with me that would necessitate counseling.
Or some women who are avowed that they don't want kids but have a total turnaround once they realize they have these independent cells dividing in their uterus. And they are usually not the ones held at fault. Once a woman says "I didn't understand until I realized I had Life growing inside me" they're sure to earn a round of applause The dude is then expected to suck it up.
ETA: There are women who are 10000% childfree; I'm certainly one of them; but many more state that view but find themselves torn once something they state they don't want actually becomes real. There have been a number of threads here that have proved that - "oh, I was childfree until ......"
What are "all these" reproductive choices that women have that men don't? Men have EVERY reproductive choice women have, with one exception, that of determining whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. And since men don't have the capacity to become pregnant, not having this choice available to them stands to reason.
You, as a man, can make the exact same preventative choices women who do not wish to be parents have open to them.
1. You can choose the sterilization route.
2. You can choose to remain abstinent.
3. You can do neither of the above and choose to practice contraception and hope it's effective.
One choice is potentially iffy, the other two are essentially foolproof (I say essentially, because I did have a uncle who had a vasectomy that was ineffective, and my youngest cousin is the result). But the choices are there for you.
I'm not angry or bitter, and have no dog in this fight. But I do think that if you are serious about not wanting kids, you would be wise to prevent it, period, with one of the more effective of the methods. Your post seems to beg the question of how serious you are about whether or not you wish to father children. Men who are definite in their stance generally do not stash frozen sperm just in case. I'm just saying I'd think carefully about what you actually want, and if fathering children really is SUCH a negative in your mind, you might as well go as permanent a route as you can.
I think there is a very remote possibility that I will ever want kids, though I do not discount it completely. For this reason, before I went through with the procedure, I would freeze some of my boys as a "just in case." For reference, I am 34 years old.
Any and all thoughts are welcome.
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Thanks!
The dude is then expected to suck it up. 
