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This thread make me really appreciate my hubby and my marriage.... As I said previously, I must be living in some alternate reality where the wives love sex with their husbands, and vice versa... and it doesn't appear that the attraction has diminished after marriage, kids, aging, etc... And they don't seem to keep score with chores, or judge who stays at home to care for kids, etc.... etc... I can't even relate to 90% of the posters on this thread. I'm not so sure this thread accurately represents marriages out there as the majority of posts are about all this diminished sex drive... Maybe this thread is about experiences with bad marriages? Young women and men posting here - marriage does not have to be this way...
You are very lucky! I think most people honestly want the kind of marriage you have.
My parents' and my brother's marriage is what I want for myself.
Understanding, affection, compatibility, honesty, ability to share vulnerability, lots of touching, kissing. I am sure their sex life is just fine for THEM.
Unfortunately, not everybody in the world can have marriage so satisfying like that.
I think any of these threads can make you drop to your knees and thank god for your nice marriage.
No kidding. I feel like I should be thankful my husband didn't drop me like a hot potato when I couldn't have sex for extended periods of time. Sounds like most people make life decisions around here based on whether or not they will still have sex. I couldn't imagine my life like that.
No kidding. I feel like I should be thankful my husband didn't drop me like a hot potato when I couldn't have sex for extended periods of time. Sounds like most people make life decisions around here based on whether or not they will still have sex. I couldn't imagine my life like that.
I don't think it's just that. Sex is just one part of the many aspects of a marriage. But a marriage without sex is just a friendship, or they are just roommates. I think most would not fault the other for periods of no sex, such as during health issues. But otherwise..
I don't think it's just that. Sex is just one part of the many aspects of a marriage. But a marriage without sex is just a friendship, or they are just roommates. I think most would not fault the other for periods of no sex, such as during health issues. But otherwise..
Yes but making decisions (like having one parent stay at home with the kids) based on the "what if's"??. If one wants to make life decisions based soley on how it will impact their sex life only, why would they even want to bother having kids or a wife?
Sure, have a back-up plan. However making decisions based on fear may not always be in the best interest of the family.
I think any of these threads can make you drop to your knees and thank god for your nice marriage.
Agreed.
We don't have sex fifty times a day... LOL
But yeah, our relationship isn't perfect, but we have a good time together, I still want to come home to my SO... I've heard stories about men drowning themselves in work to avoid going home to the wife...
I think that men's egos get stroked when they have a pretty girl in their bed or working on their little soldier. Their egos will NEVER allow them to believe that their "hot" girlfriend does not enjoy or even really want to have sex with them but do so out of obligation...girlfriend duty. My friends and I have had countless conversations about it. Once the ink is dry on the marriage license and a kid (or 2) is birthed there really is not need to keep up the charade.
That's a very dishonest and calculating way to think. Your friends, if that's who you're referring to, don't deserve a good relationship or any relationship at all.
I thought I was the only one and is this a major problem for most married couples. If so, why do women lose their sexual drive.
Despite our advanced techological society, biologically we are not very different than we were 40,000 years ago. The primary function for the URGE for sexual relations is to reproduce. That is why sex is so pleasurable, to encourage us to do it a lot to ensure survival of the species, even though, in modern society, we don't have to worry about that any longer, our BIOLOGY does not know this.
The endocrine system of both species (but especially women i.e. estrogen), encourage us to be very active early in the relationship in order to ensure pregnancy. Once pregnancy occurs the sexual urge lessens DRAMATICALLY and once a child becomes reasonably self-sufficient (in primitive terms - at around 2 to 3 years old), the DESIRE to reproduce returns to the female. However, in order to diversify the DNA, usually the female desires a different partner at this time. This is where the standard phrase "I love you, but I am not in love with you" comes into use.
Some women may decide that for economic reasons that it is simpler to have additional children with their current spouse than it is to diversify the DNA, so they will stick with their mate through one or two or more children. But very often, at some point, when the youngest child is around 3, the wife grows highly discontent with the situation and seeks a different living arrangement.
Again in a natural, primitive society the man's job is to spread his DNA as far and wide as possible to ensure survival of the species, so the male sex drive is always very strong. Usually, the desire to stay with one woman for the purpose of providing and protecting will not last much longer than the three year mark anyway.
Of course, many will argue that, as a civilized society, these biological urges are no longer valid, but they are fooling themselves. Just as our biological imperative for survival is as strong as it ever was, so is our primitive biological imperative for reproduction. There is no difference there. If our "urges" are tempered it is simply a cultural manifestation and not any alteration in our biological functioning.
That's a very dishonest and calculating way to think. Your friends, if that's who you're referring to, don't deserve a good relationship or any relationship at all.
Don't shoot the messenger. Men never want to hear the truth about the way some women think. And for some reason, some men absolutely LOVE the women who are "calculating".
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I think most people honestly want the kind of marriage you have.
