Sleepovers (dating, married, women, love)

[LadyLisaW-B]

The anxiety during a sleepover carries through to your adult years and becomes just as much of an issue when you’re newly dating someone.
The first sleepover is always terrible. You’re at his house, its three in the morning, your arm is going numb from laying too long on your left side, and you’re too nervous to move. It’s bizarre having such awkwardness in this setting that is supposed to only serve the purpose of giving you a relaxing night’s sleep. That sleep will not happen tonight. Tonight you will settle into a cuddling position with him on his back and you laying on his chest. He will ask you if you’re comfortable and you will say yes even though your neck is straining to hold up your head without a pillow under it, and you can feel him breathing on your face which is forcing you to space out your own breathing to match his so that you breath out at the same time in order to block it from making it to your face. You’re thinking about how uncomfortable he must be too, having you in his bed with this whole breathing in each others face thing, and then suddenly you hear him snoring. He’s already asleep. How is that even possible?! Isn’t he self conscious about snoring in front of you? What is he, some kind of animal that just falls asleep with its head hanging out the window of a moving car?
The answer is yes. He is an animal. And he is not thinking about anything that you’re thinking about. He’s out cold, without a care in the world. He’s probably farting on your leg right now and having dreams about your brother.
Knowing his lack of unease during this first sleepover should give you confidence to be more comfortable. Move your head to the damn pillow already. Flip flop around to find the cold spot on the sheets. Move your hair out of your mouth. Get up to pee already. He isn’t going to even remember you’re there until he wakes up in the morning. Now that part is a little trickier. If you want to see someone go from a tranquilized elephant to a panicked mess of a man, ask him if he wants to go get some breakfast.

[fisheye]

I have been married for 45 years and I have not even thought about this for a very long time. However; this is a subject that would be better addressed on this forum: http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/. Possibly our moderator will move your post? Usually they try to keep our Northeastern PA threads about local subjects. Don't feel bad if TBT moves your post - I had many moved when I first started posting.

[Poncho_NM]

Originally Posted by fisheye

Possibly our moderator will move your post?

Moved...

[timberline742]

Pretty hilarious post, but it is always wise to have first few sleepovers when you don't have to be anywhere early in the morning, or even do much the next day, in case you can't sleep.

He/she probably doesn't know their snoring. A deviated septum ruined a great situation I had as I always found myself on the loveseat and I'm too tall for that.

[Checkered24]

Is there a real question here?

[Rhenzanite]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Pretty hilarious post, but it is always wise to have first few sleepovers when you don't have to be anywhere early in the morning, or even do much the next day, in case you can't sleep.

He/she probably doesn't know their snoring. A deviated septum ruined a great situation I had as I always found myself on the loveseat and I'm too tall for that.

My guy has a deviated septum and has had surgery on it once...but he's got one more to go on it. He lightly snores here and there and the first few times I stayed over it was a mess for both of us. He kinda snored, I'm a super light sleeper and he's also not used to having someone in his bed so every time he'd turn over and touch me or I'd move he'd wake up freaked out about what was happening He also has a full size bed and with me being 6'1 and him being 6'4 it's really not that comfortable. After staying over at my house (I have a queen) for the first time a few weeks ago he finally decided to get a queen or king in the next few weeks.

[Raena77]

It is awkward if you aren't extremely tired.

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by LadyLisaW-B

The anxiety during a sleepover carries through to your adult years and becomes just as much of an issue when you’re newly dating someone.
The first sleepover is always terrible. You’re at his house, its three in the morning, your arm is going numb from laying too long on your left side, and you’re too nervous to move. It’s bizarre having such awkwardness in this setting that is supposed to only serve the purpose of giving you a relaxing night’s sleep. That sleep will not happen tonight. Tonight you will settle into a cuddling position with him on his back and you laying on his chest. He will ask you if you’re comfortable and you will say yes even though your neck is straining to hold up your head without a pillow under it, and you can feel him breathing on your face which is forcing you to space out your own breathing to match his so that you breath out at the same time in order to block it from making it to your face. You’re thinking about how uncomfortable he must be too, having you in his bed with this whole breathing in each others face thing, and then suddenly you hear him snoring. He’s already asleep. How is that even possible?! Isn’t he self conscious about snoring in front of you? What is he, some kind of animal that just falls asleep with its head hanging out the window of a moving car?
The answer is yes. He is an animal. And he is not thinking about anything that you’re thinking about. He’s out cold, without a care in the world. He’s probably farting on your leg right now and having dreams about your brother.
Knowing his lack of unease during this first sleepover should give you confidence to be more comfortable. Move your head to the damn pillow already. Flip flop around to find the cold spot on the sheets. Move your hair out of your mouth. Get up to pee already. He isn’t going to even remember you’re there until he wakes up in the morning. Now that part is a little trickier. If you want to see someone go from a tranquilized elephant to a panicked mess of a man, ask him if he wants to go get some breakfast.

If it's so traumatic to sleep over with a stranger, why not stick to having sex with people you know, like and trust?

Insecure women are the number-one reason I am glad I am not a man.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by zentropa

If it's so traumatic to sleep over with a stranger, why not stick to having sex with people you know, like and trust?

Insecure women are the number-one reason I am glad I am not a man.

Did she say a stranger? I thought it was just the first time with someone they're dating? I mean, you need a first time with everyone.

[Rhenzanite]

Originally Posted by zentropa

If it's so traumatic to sleep over with a stranger, why not stick to having sex with people you know, like and trust?

Insecure women are the number-one reason I am glad I am not a man.

Eh, the first few times sleeping over at someones place can be awkward and weird regardless of if they're strangers or not. It was 3-ish months of serious dating before I stayed over at my guys place, and probably another month or so until we were both comfortable.