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Old 01-27-2014, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,739,056 times
Reputation: 40199

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Quote:
Originally Posted by aboveordinary View Post
Why would anyone even want to get married in their 20's? That portion of your life should be spent on your own, traveling the world and/or finding out who you really are as a person. I know for certain that I won't settle down until I'm in my 30's.

I know a guy from HS who was very intelligent and ended up in a prestigious university, but he married last year at the age of 21. Why on earth would someone bog themselves down in a marriage at such a young age?
Different strokes for different folks.

Personally I can't understand the appeal of monster truck rallies, smoking, steak tar tar or having your pubic area waxed, but plenty of other people do
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Old 01-27-2014, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by aboveordinary View Post
Why would anyone even want to get married in their 20's? That portion of your life should be spent on your own, traveling the world and/or finding out who you really are as a person. I know for certain that I won't settle down until I'm in my 30's.

I know a guy from HS who was very intelligent and ended up in a prestigious university, but he married last year at the age of 21. Why on earth would someone bog themselves down in a marriage at such a young age?
Damned if I know. Probably a regional or economical thing.
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Old 01-27-2014, 09:03 PM
 
Location: MN
1,311 posts, read 1,693,803 times
Reputation: 1598
Quote:
Originally Posted by aboveordinary View Post
Why would anyone even want to get married in their 20's? That portion of your life should be spent on your own, traveling the world and/or finding out who you really are as a person. I know for certain that I won't settle down until I'm in my 30's.

I know a guy from HS who was very intelligent and ended up in a prestigious university, but he married last year at the age of 21. Why on earth would someone bog themselves down in a marriage at such a young age?
Bog themselves down? Oh wow the mistake I must have made.

While my peers are sitting around endlessly b!+(#ing about the lack of eligible partners, how hard dating is, what a game it is, and how they have "nothing to do," I thank my lucky stars I got married relatively young. Goodness knows I'd want to experience the "dating game"! Marriage certainly didn't bog my life down at all. I've been able to do so many more things and experience more in life with my husband than before I was married. No, we're not perfect. We don't have the perfect marriage, but we choose to work on it regardless of our feelings (which are transient, btw).

The whole idea behind "finding yourself" is a leftover from the Baby Boomers generation's selfishness. There are people who are in their 30's and 40's who still have to find where they lost themselves and never really grew up. Yes, growing up can really suck at times especially when you find out how the real world works but I would rather take the red pill than live in a fantasy my entire life.
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Old 01-27-2014, 11:33 PM
 
1,095 posts, read 1,631,663 times
Reputation: 1698
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
Bog themselves down? Oh wow the mistake I must have made.

While my peers are sitting around endlessly b!+(#ing about the lack of eligible partners, how hard dating is, what a game it is, and how they have "nothing to do," I thank my lucky stars I got married relatively young. Goodness knows I'd want to experience the "dating game"! Marriage certainly didn't bog my life down at all. I've been able to do so many more things and experience more in life with my husband than before I was married. No, we're not perfect. We don't have the perfect marriage, but we choose to work on it regardless of our feelings (which are transient, btw).

The whole idea behind "finding yourself" is a leftover from the Baby Boomers generation's selfishness. There are people who are in their 30's and 40's who still have to find where they lost themselves and never really grew up. Yes, growing up can really suck at times especially when you find out how the real world works but I would rather take the red pill than live in a fantasy my entire life.
Yeah, okay. My thoughts on this subject are summed up well in this article. Enjoy.

Too young to get married? See what the experts say

Here:

Quote:
Kay Moffett, author of “Not Your Mother’s Divorce: A Practical Guide to Surviving the End of a Young Marriage” says, “Many couples who marry too early haven’t achieved a fully formed self…because of this I advise couples to wait until they’re in their late 20s to marry. This allows for a period of identity exploration and a time to figure one’s self out.” She adds, “Most couples who plunge into wedlock early do so for the wrong reason. They’re simply too excited about their relationship, about being married…some are adrift in terms of family relationships, schooling or careers.” Moffett concludes that those who wait are better equipped to survive the post-honeymoon surprises. “Couples who have dated more are not so shocked, they tend to see their partner in a more realistic light,” says Moffett. “They don’t idolize marriage or their partner, they have the capacity to evaluate and make compromises regarding their partner’s flaws.”
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Old 01-28-2014, 01:41 AM
 
Location: MN
1,311 posts, read 1,693,803 times
Reputation: 1598
I could care less what that author has to say. The fact is, most Westerners including North Americans have idealized marriage into something it shouldn't be. We have this nonsense such as "finding one's self" which has lead generations to become more self-centered with age. That's why we have the phenomenon known as "extended adolescence." Instead of having functioning adults, we have people in their late 20's to early 30's who are still moving out of a teenage-style existence. No wonder Millennials get so many complaints about being immature, selfish, and lazy. It's because we are in so many ways. People just need to learn to grow up.

I honestly don't care if people are choosing to delay marriage but with that choice comes consequences. People either need to quit their whining and deal with with the marriage pool they'll end up with, or change their behavior. I'm also quite sick of constantly hearing anti-younger marriage propaganda, as if marrying before the age of 27 is some sort of mental sickness.
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Old 01-28-2014, 06:47 AM
 
4,698 posts, read 4,075,331 times
Reputation: 2483
What a stupid article. The marriage age keeps rising, but for some reason the author of the article think more and more people get engaged early. It makes zero sense and is based on a few anecdotes.

Seems to me the pressure goes the other way. I see way more articles suggesting people to wait with marriage, than articles who do the opposite. And society seem to look sucpect on early marriages. But I ask, why wait for the perfect guy if he is already there. That guy may not be there when you are 30.

Sure, the divorce rate is higher for young couples, but that is because people who are more likely to get divorced also get married early. For instance college students have a much higher marriage age. That dosn't mean a college couple who get married at 26 is more likely to get divorced. In fact there is a growing never married group, and many of them are people who waited with marrying till their 30s. If you wait too long, then it means you have much less time to find someone once you start looking.

My belief is that you should wait till the right person, not the right age.
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