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Ok folks, I just want to say thanks to all of you who came to my defense, and the defense of fat/ugly/weird/whatever people everywhere. I appreciate it.
As for everyone else: I would never presume to understand what it is like to be a short man (in Western culture), or a teenage boy, or an unattractive male, because I have never been any of those things. I can be empathetic, but I cannot truly understand what it is like for you every day. In the same way, unless you have been an overweight female and/or unattractive female in American culture, you cannot understand what it is like to be bombarded every day with the message that your looks will never be good enough. I didn't come on here asking for weight loss advice, or even if I SHOULD lose weight, but for many of you that was the immediate go to point.
Yet you did come here to post that men SHOULD date people who are overweight when they are as well. AFAIC the word should, as applied to someone else, is useless.
No...we don't have any desire to rehash crap that is so dang old we probably already replied to it, and don't even remember. So please don't reopen them.
And yes, everyone is allowed to have their preferences, as has been discussed *ad nauseam* on this forum.
So guys, explain to me rejecting a woman as too heavy - without ever having met her or interacted with her - when, relatively speaking, he is heavier than she is?
I used to know a licensed counselor who told me she'd given up counseling people about dating, because most people want someone that is so out of their league, that they can never have that person. They had completely unrealistic expectations and she couldn't change them. Lots of below-average looking men who wanted to date Barbie dolls; and lots of women who would only date men over six feet tall who earned 200K a year.
I used to have a friend in her 40s who said, she wouldn't marry any man unless he earned 500K a year. She was attractive and educated, but she was getting older and her goals were not realistic. She's in her 50s now and still single. And she lives in a homeless shelter.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,874 times
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I realise that this thread is over 3 years old, but since it has recent postings I'd like to give my 2 cents on this topic.
This perceived double standard has been going on for over a hundred years (and probably longer). And as has been stated in past posts, yes everyone has the right to "their physical preferences". While a person's physical preference for the person they wish to date may be seen as shallow by others, what matters most to the dater is how they perceive their preference(s).
I am currently in a relationship with someone who is significantly overweight compared to me. In the recent past, I would have never considered dating, much less being in a relationship with, someone who I was not physically/sexually attracted to. But, after agreeing to meet up with him and spending the day with him, I found that I liked this person and wanted to see if I could become attracted to him from the inside out. If his physical appearance was something I couldn't overlook, then I was going to end it with him.
We're in a LTR now. And even though there are a few aspects of our relationship that I'm hoping we'll be able to work out, none of them involve his body weight. I have fallen in love with his mind, heart and kind spirit. My physical/sexual attraction to him grows stronger with each passing day. I see his efforts to lose the weight which makes him worth staying with, amongst his other wonderful qualities.
I guess what I'm saying in a nutshell is: Never judge a book by its cover. Everyone is free to do so, however...they could be missing out on being with a person who is beautiful on the inside with the potential to be attractive on the outside.
I used to know a licensed counselor who told me she'd given up counseling people about dating, because most people want someone that is so out of their league, that they can never have that person. They had completely unrealistic expectations and she couldn't change them. Lots of below-average looking men who wanted to date Barbie dolls; and lots of women who would only date men over six feet tall who earned 200K a year.
I used to have a friend in her 40s who said, she wouldn't marry any man unless he earned 500K a year. She was attractive and educated, but she was getting older and her goals were not realistic. She's in her 50s now and still single. And she lives in a homeless shelter.
This thread somehow slipped through the cracks and should have been nipped in the bud. Please read the forum rules set forth in the Sticky thread. Threads about weight are no longer permitted. This thread is now closed.
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