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In guy speak, at least for me, "maybe" was my way of saying no without actually saying no.
Yeah. Maybe has always been in my case or someone else's case, we can do something if it's completely on my terms. Trust me, YOU DON'T WANT THAT. You are not in a position of any power right now. He has it all and he knows it.
That's the problem .... I worked through it with his help, and now it's too late
In other words, you all are co-dependent.
This is a toxic relationship and it will not be healthy unless you both seek counseling to work through the mess of each other's psychology.
Get some dignity, walk away with your head up and let him go. You royally screwed up. If I were him, I would see this as a huge betrayal. And now, the "relationship" is completely his call. You are at his mercy.
What kind of life is worth the constant drama and roller coaster? Certainly not one of "love" that you seem to think it is.
Take this as an opportunity to seek out the help you really need so you can grow as a person, and THAT will allow you to have a healthy, fair and good relationship in the future.
Why do you want to be in a relationship with a man in your 30's who stops talking to you for more than a day? That's not a relationship to me. Adults work out their issues.
Speaking of issues, I GET physical and emotional abuse. I've been there. It sounds like you need to seriously work on yourself before you have any business getting in a relationship with another person. You need to take care of you first, and using your past as an excuse isn't a good thing, and it won't work for him.
We are all damaged goods, some of us more than others. It's ok to have a bit of an issue here and there, but you have been dating this man for 8 months. You really need to start taking control of your life.
I have no idea what has happened before this (have you done these things before?), but I'm guessing there's more to the story on both sides. Adults in committed relationships don't just walk away for no reason. You say he is very trustworthy, yet you go and do something to make him feel JUST THE OPPOSITE. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that other situations like this one (making him feel not trustworthy) happened. I've been there before, I've done the same things. I've also been on both sides of this.
I really hope the best for you and that you get things under control. It sounds like you need further counseling in dealing with your trust issues.
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