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i think the market concept is valid but different for everyone. If you get pumped and dumped once, ok brush it off, twice your ego takes a hit, if it keeps happening its a trend and you cant just write it off.
Same thing with the friend zone, so you get friend zoned once, she has a "boyfriend" or whatever, twice ego hit, if it keeps happening then you have to make changes and its usually by lowering standards.
You cant use these one off situations about some dude you know that got lucky with your hot firend once and left. Those sorts of events are out 2 or 3 standard deviations and are for sure not the norm.
the only way this will end is if men have a cheap easy means of sex and women have a cheap easy means to get emotional needs met. prostitutes and counselors are about the same price about $100 a pop. Most people cant afford $400 a week to dampen the blows they are taking out on the street of dating.
I agree that's a fair critique. I've always been skeptical of the notion of "leagues." I do believe social classes exist (though they are less defined in the U.S. than some countries). But "leagues" I've always viewed as one's way of rationalizing his or her lack of success with a certain type. Other than her use of that term, I think the OP makes a valid comparison.
I've heard people with well to do dating lives mention the idea of leagues. They tend to use it towards unwanted admirers to demonstrate to the person that they are a league above the unwanted admirer.
I was just talking about this to a couple of younger gals I work with. Guys get put in the friend zone, and women get pumped and dumped when they make one grave mistake : dating outside of their league.
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what we have our hands is whole lot of people with an inflated view of their self worth on the market.
Comments?
If everyone operates outside of their league, I think that says a lot about the concept of leagues.
My biggest problem with this is the last line: "What we have our hands is whole lot of people with an inflated view of their self worth on the market."
You seem to imply that human beings exist in a clearly defined hierarchy of value--i.e. a market--and that the way to avoid trouble is for people to know their place and stay in it. It is a crass, cold, cynical point of view that sees male/female relationships almost as predator/prey interactions.
In the case of pump and dump, this view seems to imply that women are at fault for some men's lying, manipulative behavior. This "league" stuff may mean a lot when you are in your late teens or early 20s. But believe, me, it will fit the realities of life a lot less neatly as you get older.
So this is what we have instead. I don't think the less attractive women would agree with you. Everyone got someone back then, now days only the hot successful get to play the rest are lucky if they find someone by their mid 20's. Sexual frustration is a form of human suffering.
Spoken as one who knows nothing about "back then." Guess you never heard the terms "spinster aunt" and "old maid," eh?
Apparently your definition of what "worked" is only that it existed until people got fed up with the crimes and misery inflicted upon a whole class of people and society came to its senses.
My biggest problem with this is the last line: "What we have our hands is whole lot of people with an inflated view of their self worth on the market."
You seem to imply that human beings exist in a clearly defined hierarchy of value--i.e. a market--and that the way to avoid trouble is for people to know their place and stay in it. It is a crass, cold, cynical point of view that sees male/female relationships almost as predator/prey interactions.
In the case of pump and dump, this view seems to imply that women are at fault for some men's lying, manipulative behavior. This "league" stuff may mean a lot when you are in your late teens or early 20s. But believe, me, it will fit the realities of life a lot less neatly as you get older.
More bogus theories on this forum. If anything, I've seen dudes with deflated views of their self-worth. They get intimidated by the challenge of talking to the women they're interested in, and use this league delusion as an excuse to talk themselves out of going for what they want. Lucky for a couple of my friends, the women they were interested in approached them eventually, and they've been together ever since. But one of the gf's was shocked when she heard about the league deal. She couldn't get her mind around it. She said all it does is keep people who dig each other from getting together. The whole thing should be banned, lol!
You should read the testimonials from some of the women in these arrangements. They were (still are, in some countries) expected to provide sex immediately, the night of the wedding, in spite of the fact that the groom was a complete, or almost a complete stranger. These women feel like this type of marriage is a legalized form of prostitution. If their body isn't pleasing to their husband, he starts looking for someone to have an affair with on the side almost immediately. In the meantime, the new bride may have fallen in love with her new husband, due to the bonding hormones that occur during sex, but she's crushed not long thereafter to discover he's found someone else, and has lost interest in her. Yet she must provide all the household services to this person who has complete control over much of her life.
If you think it's such a good idea, try taking the woman's role, and see how you like it.
That sounds like the USA when a woman divorces a man yet uses the courts to reach into his wallet to finance her and her new boyfriend and the guys kid. She has complete control over his life because most women wont touch this guy with a 10 ft poll (unless he is super hot) and he is forced to work or be potentially jailed.
I don't see the difference. Im sure not all the men in these sitautions go off and cheat on the new wife.
More bogus theories on this forum. If anything, I've seen dudes with deflated views of their self-worth. They get intimidated by the challenge of talking to the women they're interested in, and use this league delusion as an excuse to talk themselves out of going for what they want. Lucky for a couple of my friends, the women they were interested in approached them eventually, and they've been together ever since. But one of the gf's was shocked when she heard about the league deal. She couldn't get her mind around it. She said all it does is keep people who dig each other from getting together. The whole thing should be banned, lol!
How do you ban someones completely shattered ego, if you get rejected enough this stuff becomes a reality.
That sounds like the USA when a woman divorces a man yet uses the courts to reach into his wallet to finance her and her new boyfriend and the guys kid. She has complete control over his life because most women wont touch this guy with a 10 ft poll (unless he is super hot) and he is forced to work or be potentially jailed.
I don't see the difference. Im sure not all the men in these sitautions go off and cheat on the new wife.
What are you talking about, man? You're comparing divorce to arranged marriages? And fyi, divorced dudes get remarried all the time. They generally don't waste any time hooking up with a new woman. I've seen this many times. Average dudes.
You need a reality check. You're kinda going off the deep end with these divorce rants.
What are you talking about, man? You're comparing divorce to arranged marriages? And fyi, divorced dudes get remarried all the time. They generally don't waste any time hooking up with a new woman. I've seen this many times. Average dudes.
You need a reality check. You're kinda going off the deep end with these divorce rants.
I was comparing them, in both cases the man in the divorce is not free financially and the woman in the arranged marriage is not free physically. Also in some cases the man can be jailed for failure to pay the court ordered amounts which is then not physically free.
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