Have you had an affair? How did it turn out? Was it a long term relationship or a one-night stand? (wife, how to)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been married for 10 years but recently on a business trip met a man that takes my breath away. He is also married. What is killing me is that we are so connected. We get each other. Sexually, physically, emotionally. We are on the same plane. And we are both in marriages of convenience. Neither one of us can get out of our of our situations.
I am sure I will get the replies of how horrible I am - being married - being with another married man. I get it. I do. I wasn't looking for this. In fact, I would have described my marriage as normal. But the fire had gone out long ago and I just figured it was normal. No one I know who is married this long boasts about their sex life.
But then it just happened. I met this wonderful man who swept me off my feet. Sometimes when I am all alone I question the universe and how this happened. It's actually a cruel twist of fate. Meeting a completely unavailable man and being a completely unavailable woman. But no one said life is fair.
Now I will really get readers angry in that I have NO desire to end this. Rather, I look at my next months calendar and am trying to find the time to meet him. He has expressed his desire to continue our relationship and am actually giddy as a a school girl with anticipation.
My question to anyone reading this is: Have you had an affair? How did it turn out? Was it a long term relationship or a one-night stand?
The details of my situation don't matter. But I can tell you that you are about to embark on a phase in which you will not be happy regardless of where you turn.
When you are with him, you will be get a temporary high tempered by extreme guilt.
When you are at home, you will miss that high terribly and probably display extreme irritability with your husband and associated loved ones.
Resist the temptation to romanticize it and shake your fists at the universe. It's a way to get a feeling you've been missing. That's all.
If you say you "can't" leave your marriage, then the affair will eventually end PAINfully. And your marriage will never be the same.
Assuming this is real, there is no "it just happened." It was a deliberate choice, and an example of "grass is greener" syndrome. Do you not think that if you were with this other gentleman over a period of many years the same thing wouldn't happen? Rarely does a marriage or long term relationship at 5, 10, 15+ resemble what it looked at the very beginning, especially when many other factors are involved. That passion, fire and excitement ebbs and flows overtime. It is not a constant thing, and if you desire to have that intimacy and closeness with your spouse again then you must communicate that and put in the required effort.
If you're truly unhappy in your relationship then work to change that or GTFO. Your husband doesn't deserve to be treated with such disrespect. There is always a way out. Stop making excuses. If you want out then get out, but don't assume your new beau will follow suit. Chances are he'll think it's wise to continue in his marriage because he feels he has to much to lose otherwise, and if you were thinking he'd leave his wife for you and the two of you go run off into the sunset, you'd be mistaken.
I've been married for 10 years but recently on a business trip met a man that takes my breath away. He is also married. What is killing me is that we are so connected. We get each other. Sexually, physically, emotionally. We are on the same plane.
Oh h e double hockey sticks. You know all this from your short fling with a stranger. ROFLMBO
Do you not think that if you were with this other gentleman over a period of many years the same thing wouldn't happen? Rarely does a marriage or long term relationship at 5, 10, 15+ resemble what it looked at the very beginning, especially when many other factors are involved. That passion, fire and excitement ebbs and flows overtime. It is not a constant thing,
This OP.
Marriages get into ruts. Your initial assumption that it was normal was correct.
But when it happens, you are supposed to do the hard work of getting your marriage back on track. That's what commitment, "for better for worse", and all that jazz means.
Finding a soul mate outside the marriage is a mirage. This is the rush of new love. With time it will fade, just like it is doing now with your actual husband.
You want to know how to do this without getting caught and no one getting hurt, I am assuming. You can try OP, but people are not stupid. Even the most detached spouse eventually figures it out, and/or even the most discrete cheater eventually slips up... not to mention you have the other spouse to worry about. Is your lover that good and is his wife that clueless? You don't know. And if one of you catches even stronger feelings and starts making demands, the train can come off the rails easily. The chances of getting caught are high. And the consequenses can be absolutely devastating to everyone involved, particularly the spouses who did nothing wrong but will have their whole sense of self destroyed anyway.
And I didn't even mention children, if any are involved. Stuff like this can completely destroy their ability to trust.
But, you are going to do what you want to do. I get that. I'm just urging you to think long and hard before you proceed, and realize that what you are trying to pull off has pretty low odds of working out. Your emotions are already engaged. This is not likely to end well.
What do you mean, "he swept you off your feet"? Usually when men do that, it's a manipulative move. They want to use you for their own ends. How do you know he wasn't playing you? How, exactly, did he sweep you off your feet? And if you met him on a business trip, how would you be able to continue seeing him, anyway?
I've been married for 10 years but recently on a business trip met a man that takes my breath away. He is also married. What is killing me is that we are so connected. We get each other. Sexually, physically, emotionally. We are on the same plane. And we are both in marriages of convenience. Neither one of us can get out of our of our situations.
I am sure I will get the replies of how horrible I am - being married - being with another married man. I get it. I do. I wasn't looking for this. In fact, I would have described my marriage as normal. But the fire had gone out long ago and I just figured it was normal. No one I know who is married this long boasts about their sex life.
But then it just happened. I met this wonderful man who swept me off my feet. Sometimes when I am all alone I question the universe and how this happened. It's actually a cruel twist of fate. Meeting a completely unavailable man and being a completely unavailable woman. But no one said life is fair.
Now I will really get readers angry in that I have NO desire to end this. Rather, I look at my next months calendar and am trying to find the time to meet him. He has expressed his desire to continue our relationship and am actually giddy as a a school girl with anticipation.
My question to anyone reading this is: Have you had an affair? How did it turn out? Was it a long term relationship or a one-night stand?
Cool story bro.
Wrong forum.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
