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All you need do is cast your eye over the innumerable posts on CD from wierd, scared little guys, and you have THE REASON.
THE REASON = you guys are wierd, and scared, or douches, or after a mommy, OR now I'm a bit older, a frikkn nurse.
Most Women I know = normal - by which I mean nicely groomed, not abusive, work and pay their bills, mind their own business, treat their family and friends and themselves with respect.
Most Men I know = broken. One way or another.
Men just can't/don't/won't practise self improvement like women do. They want someone to miraculously love and support them just the way they are, missing teeth, drinking problem, messy house and all- yet are totally incapable of OFFERING the same. They just take.
Sad but true and the situations getting worse with all these basement dwellers and entitled princes.
Some of the young guys on here just make me shake my head. At least the older guys **** about their "feelings", mostly.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,050,212 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
Most Women I know = normal - by which I mean nicely groomed, not abusive, work and pay their bills, mind their own business, treat their family and friends and themselves with respect.
For one thing, the average woman can easily devote herself to school/work/etc. during her early- and mid-20s, not even have to think about dating if she doesn't want to, because she knows she can get plenty of dates lined up as soon as she chooses to put herself on the market. Whereas the average guy in his adult dating years has to devote his time not only to making money, but also to
getting romantically/sexually experienced
making a lot of friends
looking good (which is hard if you're a guy, because you can't do anything about your physical traits that factor the most into your overall attractiveness)
if he wants any chance of not being considered a loser.
SO not true! It's easy to feel sorry for yourself if you make up a fictional reality for the other side of the equation. Plus, men don't "have to" get sexual experience, they want to. I don't know where you get this list. I've never heard of the "making a lot of friends" thing. Your whole post (ok, aside from the "looking good" thing, maybe) is a product of your imagination.
I went on a blind date, and when the guy walked in, I thought "Nope. Not the one." He wasn't hideous, he was quite average looking, but I just wasn't initially attracted to him at all.
By coffee/dessert, I was smitten. He was witty, charming, hilarious, fascinating, intriguing . . . I had the most fun I'd had on a date in years. And then, viewing him (his physical appearance) through the lens of all I had learned about his personality and wit and charm? Yeah, I was definitely finding him sexually attractive.
I hope you didn't or wouldn't tell him that
Ex: "Wry, when I met you I thought you were not attractive at all. But thats ok, once I found out you had a great personality I wanted to jump your bones". If I told any woman that I would be doomed
All you need do is cast your eye over the innumerable posts on CD from wierd, scared little guys, and you have THE REASON.
THE REASON = you guys are wierd, and scared, or douches, or after a mommy, OR now I'm a bit older, a frikkn nurse.
Most Women I know = normal - by which I mean nicely groomed, not abusive, work and pay their bills, mind their own business, treat their family and friends and themselves with respect.
Most Men I know = broken. One way or another.
Men just can't/don't/won't practise self improvement like women do. They want someone to miraculously love and support them just the way they are, missing teeth, drinking problem, messy house and all- yet are totally incapable of OFFERING the same. They just take.
Sad but true and the situations getting worse with all these basement dwellers and entitled princes.
Some of the young guys on here just make me shake my head. At least the older guys **** about their "feelings", mostly.
Well, in my case I keep running into a lot of damaged men or men with serious issues. It causes me to take breaks from dating and then try up again later. I think part of it is my age. Most men my age are divorced and some are "divorced for a good reason" and some are very damaged/broken from their divorce. A handful of men are still single (edit: never married), but they are few and far between and sometimes have issues of their own (not all, but some). There are some men out there about my age who are perfectly "normal" too. But it just seems the ones that are out there looking are the rotten apples and the sour apples. Makes a woman give up hope. Especially, as I've mentioned in other posts, when I have a great life that is low on drama.
I sometimes wonder if my male counterparts (great life, little drama and are also out of a bad marriage) are thinking the way I am thinking today, "why bother sifting though all the bad ones to find that one good apple in the bunch?" Maybe they tried dating and ran into all kinds of weird and damaged women (like I have men). Maybe they think like I do, "is it worth the risk?" So they don't try, hence the difficulty finding the few who do still try.
I have everything I need: a great life, loved ones, close family and friends, a great job, a house, perfect health, interesting hobbies, every material need I can think of, and I take great vacations and enjoy life. About the two things I miss is by not having a relationship with a man is sex and romantic companionship. And they have toys for sex that that won't spend the next day being sulky and mad at you for "no reason" or who will promise to call and forget or what have you. The companionship I can't replace with anything. That kind of romantic bond is speical. But there is no guarantee I will ever find it--especially with those bad apples I mentioned. Again, is it worth the risk?
I will say if I happen to meet the right man, yes, it would be well worth it. But in the meantime, I enjoy life without a man like that. Maybe we will cross paths, maybe we won't.
Ex: "Wry, when I met you I thought you were not attractive at all. But thats ok, once I found out you had a great personality I wanted to jump your bones". If I told any woman that I would be doomed
LOL, the last man I dated I wasn't physically attracted to at first either. But as I started to fall for him I "found" features I liked and I let him know his beard made him look handsome, or that he's strong, or I think he's rugged and masculine, etc. I really meant it, it wasn't a lie. But I would never tell him the whole truth that I though he wasn't much of a looker at first.
All you need do is cast your eye over the innumerable posts on CD from wierd, scared little guys, and you have THE REASON.
THE REASON = you guys are wierd, and scared, or douches, or after a mommy, OR now I'm a bit older, a frikkn nurse.
Most Women I know = normal - by which I mean nicely groomed, not abusive, work and pay their bills, mind their own business, treat their family and friends and themselves with respect.
Most Men I know = broken. One way or another.
Men just can't/don't/won't practise self improvement like women do. They want someone to miraculously love and support them just the way they are, missing teeth, drinking problem, messy house and all- yet are totally incapable of OFFERING the same. They just take.
Sad but true and the situations getting worse with all these basement dwellers and entitled princes.
Some of the young guys on here just make me shake my head. At least the older guys **** about their "feelings", mostly.
Naw, theres a number of messed up women here too, its just in a diiferent way. And some of them are messed because of their relationships with messed up men.
But, whose choice was it to get involved with the messed up man in the first place. Everytime I look at a woman I know who is involved with some sociopathic or crazy man, I think to myself "Who is the one that is really messed up". The man or the woman who makes the choice to live with the crazy guy
Naw, theres a number of messed up women here too, its just in a diiferent way. And some of them are messed because of their relationships with messed up men.
But, whose choice was it to get involved with the messed up man in the first place. Everytime I look at a woman I know who is involved with some sociopathic or crazy man, I think to myself "Who is the one that is really messed up". The man or the woman who makes the choice to live with the crazy guy
Good point and another thing I wonder about myself. "Is my 'picker' broken?" Although to be fair, I don't date these guys for long once I figure them out--but I seem to keep picking them (or them me). The exception was my ex-husband... I stayed with him. But I didn't "believe" in divorce and took my vows seriously. In that case, I was young and used poor judgement when I married. I let my love for him blind me to his real self.
All you need do is cast your eye over the innumerable posts on CD from wierd, scared little guys, and you have THE REASON.
THE REASON = you guys are wierd, and scared, or douches, or after a mommy, OR now I'm a bit older, a frikkn nurse.
Most Women I know = normal - by which I mean nicely groomed, not abusive, work and pay their bills, mind their own business, treat their family and friends and themselves with respect.
Most Men I know = broken. One way or another.
Men just can't/don't/won't practise self improvement like women do. They want someone to miraculously love and support them just the way they are, missing teeth, drinking problem, messy house and all- yet are totally incapable of OFFERING the same. They just take.
Sad but true and the situations getting worse with all these basement dwellers and entitled princes.
Some of the young guys on here just make me shake my head. At least the older guys **** about their "feelings", mostly.
Okay cindersslipper, it might be time for a power nap. Somebody's cranky.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,050,212 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
I sometimes wonder if my male counterparts (great life, little drama and are also out of a bad marriage) are thinking the way I am thinking today, "why bother sifting though all the bad ones to find that one good apple in the bunch?" Maybe they tried dating and ran into all kinds of weird and damaged women (like I have men). Maybe they think like I do, "is it worth the risk?" So they don't try, hence the difficulty finding the few who do still try.
Yes. One of the things is, I think what men and and women consider "good apples" are just different.
Also, I think as I get older, and the people I meet are older, we're all happy with our lives and would like that partner (for travel, etc), but we're less willing to compromise on a bunch of things to find it. It gets harder. We're more set in our ways and happy with them.
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The companionship I can't replace with anything. That kind of romantic bond is speical. But there is no guarantee I will ever find it--especially with those bad apples I mentioned. Again, is it worth the risk? 
