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That's tough. I'm not sure I would want to date someone who was gone for a lot of the year, but there are lots of women out there who wait for their guys while they are deployed. I think you need a woman who is more independent and maybe more of an introvert to where she isn't bothered being alone. I think the hard part is establishing a solid relationship with someone to the point where they are willing to wait for you while you're working. I would probably be more willing to wait for someone I had been established with for a few years versus someone I'd only know a few months ya know? Is there an end point to this job for you? I might be okay with it for a couple years, but I wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship or married to a guy who would be gone 7 months out of the year until his retirement. But, everyone is different and I bet if you found the perfect girl for you who adores you, she will do what it takes to make things work out. Good luck!
Bering Sea fisherman is a very dangerous job. A girlfriend would have to be ok with the fact that you might not come back at all one season. I think the best suggestion was the one about using your job to sock away money for later in life, and look for a gf when you're done with the fisherman gig. Use your savings to go to grad school, or something.
On the other hand, there must be plenty of women in Alaska who are used to a fisherman's schedule...?
Sex is something you should think about. Not just from your point of view, but from hers. If a woman is willing to go 7 months without sex on a regular basis, is that going to be a problem in the future when you two are together 12 months of the year?
I mention this not because of anything in your post, but because it is a common theme on this and other relationship forums -- men choose a woman partly because she has a low sex drive (they think in means she will not cheat, or she has little experience and they like that, or, in your case, she is fine with the long stints at sea), and then after marriage they regret that.
What I am saying is, a woman who is compatible with your current job might not be compatible with you after you change jobs. In terms of sex, and maybe other things as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
On the other hand, there must be plenty of women in Alaska who are used to a fisherman's schedule...?
Yes. Though, last I heard, there were far more men than women in AK, so they had their pick.
Hey everyone I've been a Bering sea fisherman basically since i graduated high school.I want to get opinions on what others think of my social situation, and possible ways i could help remedy it. I've been recently been finding it extremely hard to maintain relationships with both my friends and women in my life because of the nature of my work (At sea about 7 months of the year). I'm 24 years old, and would love nothing more than to come home from working my butt off for months to a loving girl friend, and buddies for football and pizza. But unfortunately It's come to a point where I very rarely get invited to any social events or gatherings, and women pretty much refuse to date me because there's "no point".I feel like I've Binded myself to a life full of meaningless Flings and I basically have to decide between the financial freedom my job offers me, and being an outcast.
I really don't think those are the only two options you have. It's hard to maintain relationships long distance, sure, but it is still possible. Friendships should be easier. I'd say you need to find better friends. I know if one of my buddies was gone a lot, I'd bend over backwards to make his/her returns something to look forward to.
There are a lot of people with partners who are away for long periods of time; people in the military, for example. It's just a matter of finding someone who is willing and capable of working with it. I'm a huge fan of online dating. I think it would be a great option for you. You can lay out your expectations/limitations up front and see who bites.
I've been in a similar situation in my early 20's, OP. A friend of mine started a business from my garage that immediately took off and blossomed. I lost my current gf during that period, and for the next 3 years was.....well, no real dating; my only social outlet was venders and clients, Lol.
We all must make sacrifices in order to reach a goal.
I've been in a similar situation in my early 20's, OP. A friend of mine started a business from my garage that immediately took off and blossomed. I lost my current gf during that period, and for the next 3 years was.....well, no real dating; my only social outlet was venders and clients, Lol.
We all must make sacrifices in order to reach a goal.
I've been working oilfield for the last 25 years. We go through the same situation with being gone 2 weeks or more at a time...basically 6 months out of a year gone at work. Many a failed marriages in this business, myself included. I spent 17 years single after my first marriage, expecting to never have another real relationship. As it turns out I was wrong. My wife has her own business that combined with mine...we are lucky to get to see each other 2 days a month, sometimes less. It's just the way things are right now. It sucks but we deal with it, and make the most of those few days we do get to spend together. I consider myself very very fortunate to have a partner that I can trust and depend on to be there when I do come home. And I do the same for her. They are out there. You'll just have to bide your time and wait for the right one!
As a Navy wife, I know there are many who are down with the lifestyle of having significant time apart as a couple. Those partners aren't lurking around just every corner, but they do exist. But, yes, you have to understand that your chosen lifestyle comes with tradeoffs.
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and I basically have to decide between the financial freedom my job offers me, and being an outcast.
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