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Question about PUA and relationships: I will try to frame this question as delicately and diplomatically as possible, since it is certainly not my intention to sound rude or offensive here, but merely to inquire about something that I have been genuinely wondering about for quite some time PUA gurus (as they are usually shown in popular society anyway) tend more often than not to apply unflattering labels to people who are unsuccessful with dating using conventional methods. Enter PUA vocabulary terms like "AFC" (i.e., "Average Frustrated Chump"), "wuss" or "wussy" (i.e., used to describe some men whose approach towards women may be thought of as less-than-conventionally or popularly-accepted, traditional masculine societal norms), etc.
PUA gurus definitively encourage a specific style of masculine behavior, if you will, rooted in a certain approach that can be described in a nutshell as "strong inner game", "cocky and funny", and similar traditional masculine personality traits. The problem with applying these particular masculine traits to all men as *the* universal barometer of success in dating is that for some men, this type of behavior may be incompatible with their core personality, and their basic human emotional needs. With simply labelling these men as "wusses" and writing them off as hopeless unless they willingly embrace traditional masculine gender norms, PUA gurus are also eliminating a huge degree of flexibility in their approach and their own market that they might otherwise have.
Anyway, I guess my underlying question here is, why haven't PUA gurus also tried the approach of helping these "alternate-masculinity men" (i.e., the "AFCs" and, in their view, the "wusses") find love, using their own unique personality types? Just for example, I personally for one would love to see a PUA try to successfully help a so-called "wuss" find romantic love, but using the "wussy" way, not the conventional PUA way. Or do you think that would maybe be too hard of a challenge, for a PUA guru to be able to successfully do and be able to pull off...for them to actually help a woman full in love with the stereotypical "wuss" or "AFC", for instance? I often wonder sometimes, can it in fact be done, if they (the PUA's) were to actually try it for instance, or is it something that would be impossible to do, even for them and with their extensive knowledge of relationship coaching?
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 05-05-2014 at 12:59 PM..
Reason: Typo
Question about PUA and relationships: I will try to frame this question as delicately and diplomatically as possible, since it is certainly not my intention to sound rude or offensive here, but merely to inquire about something that I have been genuinely wondering about for quite some time PUA gurus (as they are usually shown in popular society anyway) tend more often than not to apply unflattering labels to people who are unsuccessful with dating using conventional methods. Enter PUA vocabulary terms like "AFC" (i.e., "Average Frustrated Chump"), "wuss" or "wussy" (i.e., used to describe some men whose approach towards women may be thought of as less-than-conventionally or popularly-accepted, traditional masculine societal norms), etc.
PUA gurus definitively encourage a specific style of masculine behavior, if you will, rooted in a certain approach that can be described in a nutshell as "strong inner game", "cocky and funny", and similar traditional masculine personality traits. The problem with applying these particular masculine traits to all men as *the* universal barometer of success in dating is that for some men, this type of behavior may be incompatible with their core personality, and their basic human emotional needs. With simply labelling these men as "wusses" and writing them off as hopeless unless they willingly embrace traditional masculine norms, PUA gurus are also eliminating a huge degree of flexibility in their approach and their own market that they might otherwise have.
Anyway, I guess my underlying question here is, why haven't PUA gurus also tried the approach of helping these "alternate-masculinity men" (i.e., the "ACFs" and, in their view, the "wusses") find love, using their own unique personality types? Just for example, I personally for one would love to see a PUA try to successfully help a so-called "wuss" find romantic love, but using the "wussy" way, not the conventional PUA way. Or do you think that would maybe be too hard of a challenge, for a PUA guru to be able to successfully do and be able to pull off...for them to actually help a woman full in love with the stereotypical "wuss" or "AFC", for instance? I often wonder sometimes, can it in fact be done, if they (the PUA's) were to actually try it for instance, or is it something that would be impossible to do, even for them and with their extensive knowledge of relationship coaching?
YMMV...some men swear by PUA that it has worked wonders for them, and that they can even do it without having to disrespect women at all. It never helped me personally though, even when I tried it (although to be completely fair and balanced, my own approach had an extremely-high lack of success rate as well).
I think the logical thing to do when PUA methods don't work is to use something else, not try to change the methodology. Or if you find something else that works but is entirely different from PUA techniques, you can relabel it as PUA if that makes you happy.
It used to openly about teaching date rape techniques. Now it has branched out into consensual casual sex, but it still emphasises hatred and disgust for women. And, as you have noticed, for men who don't fit the homophobic, misogynist mold.
It used to openly about teaching date rape techniques. Now it has branched out into consensual casual sex, but it still emphasises hatred and disgust for women. And, as you have noticed, for men who don't fit the homophobic, misogynist mold.
My cousins use PUA's. Of course, they're douchebags. However, women have sex with them. I just don't get it.
It used to openly about teaching date rape techniques. Now it has branched out into consensual casual sex, but it still emphasises hatred and disgust for women. And, as you have noticed, for men who don't fit the homophobic, misogynist mold.
Clearly you've never read anything but Feminist hand-waving about PUA culture.
PUA teachings are generally divided into two categories:
1. Short-term, or 'hookup' game.
2. Relationship game (as in, how to find a good woman for a relationship, get her interested and keep her interested.)
I did make an attempt to be fair and balanced in my posts, if you will note -- I mentioned right off-the-bat that my own approach has been very unsuccessful as well (and actually pretty close to 0%). The reason I think PUA had a 0% rate of success for me is because I really just can't be as stoic and unemotional towards women as PUA prescribes and calls for I can't be that emotionally detached and aloof, it just doesn't work for me; emotionally, I need a woman who "feels" more, and is more amenable to the open expression of positive feelings..
I didn't mean you specifically. I just meant what this thread is going to turn into
Although, even with your OP.. if you have read the comments I've made in the past I have said that if you go word for with with what PUA says it will make you look like an idiot. Your best bet is to read the articles and then make it work for you.
There's no such thing as a manual to picking up women. You work with your own personality, but I would bet that if you read the articles with an open mind you could learn a thing or two that would help you out.. even though your approach is near the opposite of that of a PUA.
I am far from the type of person that goes to clubs and far from your typical PUA, yet some of the articles have helped me in certain parts of dating.
Pick up artists are not interested in love, they just want to have sex with women. There's nothing else to them really, just a bunch of sleazes with a burning desire to wet their noodle. I don't really know why you started this thread Knight, you're not going to suddenly make a horn dog into a great guy. Dogs seldom change their spots.
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PUA gurus (as they are usually shown in popular society anyway) tend more often than not to apply unflattering labels to people who are unsuccessful with dating using conventional methods. Enter PUA vocabulary terms like "AFC" (i.e., "Average Frustrated Chump"), "wuss" or "wussy" (i.e., used to describe some men whose approach towards women may be thought of as less-than-conventionally or popularly-accepted, traditional masculine societal norms), etc.
