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I've been on four dates with a woman, the most recent being at my place where I cooked her dinner and we made out. She stayed far longer than planned, nestled in my arms, and it was wonderful. She's now having me come to her place tomorrow (my suggestion, actually) and I could see sex being somewhat likely. I met her online and I honestly don't care to be using the dating site now that I met her, but she still appears to be on it sometimes (she once acknowledged this as simply being out of boredom, as she lives alone).
If things go well and we do have sex, I want to feel secure that we'll be in an exclusive relationship. Based on her chemistry answers and personality, I can't see her sleeping around with multiple guys, but I also can't help but be a little concerned about the issue, mainly out of my own insecurity. We click really well and I think she's pretty special. Is it too much to ask her about exclusivity at this stage, if things go really well tomorrow?
Dude, you are going to ********** up! Don't ever mention or ask a girl to be exclusive, because it is going to sound like you are the weak, desperate one.
Girls get turned on when they don't know how you truly feel about them, believe me! People that show all their cards early in the game end up losing the girl!
Most dudes that have no game will screw things up by doing exactly what you are thinking about doing, so DONT!
If you get to have sex with her, then probably she will be the one asking you if you want to be exclusive soon, sex for women is a much more emotional connection, so just CHILL!
You are sounding like a wuss who is already in love with someone you hardly know! If you make your intentions known this soon, she will leave you, TRUST ME!
Keep your options open and pursue other people, don't be so obsessed with this woman this early in the game. Let her come to you and ask you if you want to be exclusive, not the other way around!
This is just me - but I would have the exclusivity talk before sex. There have been guys that I knew I wasn't going to be exclusive with - so I slept with them with out any conversation about our relationship but the guys that I knew I wanted a relationship with - we always talked about "us" before we did the deed. But like I said - that's just me.
This is just me - but I would have the exclusivity talk before sex. There have been guys that I knew I wasn't going to be exclusive with - so I slept with them with out any conversation about our relationship but the guys that I knew I wanted a relationship with - we always talked about "us" before we did the deed. But like I said - that's just me.
And you think it would be okay for me to bring this up first? It seems almost more like the woman's thing, being how macho guys can be, but damn I like her and could see myself being with her.
I'm not some careless swinger/player; I'm looking for a serious relationship and so is she. I've seen many women state that they won't have sex until confirming exclusivity, or at least that the relationship status is clarified upon first having sex, and I think that makes sense. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be dating a girl that's potentially going around casually having sex with multiple guys.
The morning after our date, she was having a friend in town and I noticed she viewed my dating profile that morning for the first time in a while. I have a hunch it was to show me to her friend.
And you think it would be okay for me to bring this up first? It seems almost more like the woman's thing, being how macho guys can be, but damn I like her and could see myself being with her.
Thanks, Dewdrop93.
Here's my feelings on stuff like this. Everyone is different. See the post below! I'm pretty much the exact opposite. I like to know where I stand with things. I like to know what's going on and what direction things are moving in. I don't think telling her that you want to be exclusive with her is any reflection one your masculinity or anything - it simply shows her that you want to give things a shot with her. If she likes you back - she'll be thrilled! If she doesn't feel the same way - well, wouldn't you rather know before you have sex with her? That's my feeling, anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
Ugh. Not. I hate "talks" like that. It either happens naturally, or not. Yuck. No ring, that means I am free....
I'm all about the talking - and I wasn't "free" long before I had a ring on my finger!
Dude, you are going to ********** up! Don't ever mention or ask a girl to be exclusive, because it is going to sound like you are the weak, desperate one.
Girls get turned on when they don't know how you truly feel about them, believe me! People that show all their cards early in the game end up losing the girl!
Most dudes that have no game will screw things up by doing exactly what you are thinking about doing, so DONT!
If you get to have sex with her, then probably she will be the one asking you if you want to be exclusive soon, sex for women is a much more emotional connection, so just CHILL!
You are sounding like a wuss who is already in love with someone you hardly know! If you make your intentions known this soon, she will leave you, TRUST ME!
Keep your options open and pursue other people, don't be so obsessed with this woman this early in the game. Let her come to you and ask you if you want to be exclusive, not the other way around!
First the chicks on on-line dating. Its pretty much hit or miss. If she is looking for a relationship it doesn't matter what he says she probably take anything she can get as long as the guy is somewhat normal. To the op just ask her if shes playing games better to find out sooner rather than latter
I've been on four dates with a woman, the most recent being at my place where I cooked her dinner and we made out. She stayed far longer than planned, nestled in my arms, and it was wonderful. She's now having me come to her place tomorrow (my suggestion, actually) and I could see sex being somewhat likely. I met her online and I honestly don't care to be using the dating site now that I met her, but she still appears to be on it sometimes (she once acknowledged this as simply being out of boredom, as she lives alone).
If things go well and we do have sex, I want to feel secure that we'll be in an exclusive relationship. Based on her chemistry answers and personality, I can't see her sleeping around with multiple guys, but I also can't help but be a little concerned about the issue, mainly out of my own insecurity. We click really well and I think she's pretty special. Is it too much to ask her about exclusivity at this stage, if things go really well tomorrow?
Well what were the other 3 dates like?
The fact that you made it to date 4 is great it shows that you two are getting along.
What is the time span that you two have been talking?
And while it may be the fifth date at her place do not automatically anticipate sex. Go at her pace, let her set it and follow her lead until she states that it's a go or a no go.
Regarding being exclusive?
I am not sure. She has had 4 dates thus far that I am going to assume are great are you logging on daily?
She may want to keep her options open until she is sure that you two are headed towards couple bliss.
I would mention it lightly and see her response verbal and non verbal.
Good luck!
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