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You people forget that things like school and profession and career are things you can control to a pretty great extent. You cannot make someone care about you no matter what you do.
But he's right; you do have to position yourself somehow; circulate and be where the women (or men) are. And when the opportunity arises, you make a move, you don't let it pass you by. Even if you take the route of "letting life unfold", when opportunity knocks, you have to open the door. Rarely is it an automatic door. You have to get up, walk over to the door, and open it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
You people forget that things like school and profession and career are things you can control to a pretty great extent. You cannot make someone care about you no matter what you do.
That is not what I meant, damn it! My intent is if you find someone you like, best thing to do is to go all in early and make your intentions clear. Does not guarantee they say yes but waiting for them to fall in love with you and approach you will not do anything.
Not sure if anyone posted this yet, but it's worth discussing.
No gender bashing.
The list doesn't add: general narcissism (aka lack of empathy), and treating others poorly when they think others aren't watching. (Especially those who have least and have it worse).
#s 2-7 are common sense and apply to women just as much as men. Accomplishing something can be as simple as reading a book. I can't tell you how much of a turn-off it is when a woman tells me she doesn't read books. Shudder.
I agree with #1 though. A 10 point ranking system is stupid & it's all subjective. I often find in the PUA community there is a racial/ethnic/cultural component to it. They'll say things like "there are no hot women in Pakistan" or "Dallas" or some bull.
IMO there are 3 classes of people looks-wise
1) Ugly people; physically unatttractive and there's nothing they can do. Often this is due to some unfortunate genetic, environmental or external factor. Ie: someone gets burned badly in a fire. I have to admit it would be hard for me to start a relationship with someone scarred like that, although not impossible. Not many people are truly in this category and when they are it's often not their fault.
2) Normal people; they look decent, but it depends highly on how much they put into their appearance. Often these people could be in the top tier, but they need a better hairstyle, better clothes, work on their posture, etc... Sometimes they need dental work, skin treatment, etc... Most importantly they need to get into shape. (helps the posture, confidence issues) Typically there's nothing stopping these people from being in the high tier except working out. Most people are in this category.
3) Attractive people; They dress well, carry themselves well, keep up to date with fashion, exude confidence and most importantly, they watch what they eat and work out. These people are in top physical condition for their age, height and build. They work out and avoid eating too much processed garbage. It really is that simple. Some people may work out too much though, and that moves them down, but that's just my subjective opinion of the body-builder type.
So when I see people debate "5's" vs. "9s" I think it's ridiculous and my standards of "7" or "8" never seem conform, since those debates seem to focus exclusively on the T:A ratio divided by waist size. I think a lot of women look good. I'll see someone they call a "4" and I think, "if she got into the gym for 6 months & styled her hair, she'd be a '9.'
#s 2-7 are common sense and apply to women just as much as men. Accomplishing something can be as simple as reading a book. I can't tell you how much of a turn-off it is when a woman tells me she doesn't read books. Shudder.
I agree with #1 though. A 10 point ranking system is stupid & it's all subjective. I often find in the PUA community there is a racial/ethnic/cultural component to it. They'll say things like "there are no hot women in Pakistan" or "Dallas" or some bull.
IMO there are 3 classes of people looks-wise
1) Ugly people; physically unatttractive and there's nothing they can do. Often this is due to some unfortunate genetic, environmental or external factor. Ie: someone gets burned badly in a fire. I have to admit it would be hard for me to start a relationship with someone scarred like that, although not impossible. Not many people are truly in this category and when they are it's often not their fault.
2) Normal people; they look decent, but it depends highly on how much they put into their appearance. Often these people could be in the top tier, but they need a better hairstyle, better clothes, work on their posture, etc... Sometimes they need dental work, skin treatment, etc... Most importantly they need to get into shape. (helps the posture, confidence issues) Typically there's nothing stopping these people from being in the high tier except working out. Most people are in this category.
3) Attractive people; They dress well, carry themselves well, keep up to date with fashion, exude confidence and most importantly, they watch what they eat and work out. These people are in top physical condition for their age, height and build. They work out and avoid eating too much processed garbage. It really is that simple. Some people may work out too much though, and that moves them down, but that's just my subjective opinion of the body-builder type.
So when I see people debate "5's" vs. "9s" I think it's ridiculous and my standards of "7" or "8" never seem conform, since those debates seem to focus exclusively on the T:A ratio divided by waist size. I think a lot of women look good. I'll see someone they call a "4" and I think, "if she got into the gym for 6 months & styled her hair, she'd be a '9.'
Back to the fixation on weight as to why people aren't attractive? Most of the plain or average women I know are in great shape. That doesn't magically cause men to notice them. This is overly-simplistic cr@p. The only constructive advice I can think of is if they dress somewhat unconventionally, depending, that could put men off. (Or maybe attract the right quirky guy.) Other than that, there is no magic bullet. Even having an outgoing personality doesn't necessarily make a difference.
Thank you. You made some very good points here and I agree with you.
I tend to see all the shades of gray in a situation, so it never crosses my mind to do the us vs. them thing.
I realize that's not how many people do it. Side note: I am also not into team sports.
I think only limited intellects view anything as an "us versus them" scenario. But it seems like that is always the battle...... "I'm not happy so it must be THEIR fault...." (insert race, gender, religion..).
That's always where the REAL trouble starts.
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41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Back to the fixation on weight as to why people aren't attractive? Most of the plain or average women I know are in great shape. That doesn't magically cause men to notice them. This is overly-simplistic cr@p. The only constructive advice I can think of is if they dress somewhat unconventionally, depending, that could put men off. (Or maybe attract the right quirky guy.) Other than that, there is no magic bullet. Even having an outgoing personality doesn't necessarily make a difference.
The hell it doesn't. Slammin bodies get noticed. End of story.
The idea that you live your life and try to be a good person and give back to your community and be productive and challenge yourself and grow...that be the point of life...and then IF you so happen to meet someone you get along with, have stuff in common with, can share your life with...THEN you get married?
Worked for me.
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