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Wait a minute? So you think all guys are "pervs", but they're only in the wrong if they're candid about it, admittedly too shy to approach, and come on to a forum to ASK women what they find offensive so that he can do a better job balancing not offending people with meeting his needs?
As I've said in these threads, no one has ever indicated to me that they were offended except the one that covered up her bare shoulder and I knew I was out of line so I stopped.
So it seems you are judging me far too harshly without a firm grasp on the situation.
We know what you're up to here.
Too shy to approach...what does that mean exactly?
Do a better job at what...really?
Meeting you needs? Let's be honest here. What are you really doing with those 3 second mental snapshots once you return to the sanctity of your...space.
Personally, I believe you want to be caught by these women while you're staring at them. This reminds me of the plot from an episode of Criminal Minds.
Apparently there are people who are offended otherwise this would not be so offensive to people...and it is creepy and you know it is; get some help somewhere.
That's it, it's Saturday and I have to get out of this alternate universe known as city-data.
Edit to add: I so love the internet, whatever we need to ponder or know it is there for us.
HERE, I'm helping you...read and learn!
The Good Men Project
A Simple Guide for Looking at Women on the Street:Glancing Vs. Staring
It's very simple. If you see someone you find attractive and you stare at them - if they notice you staring and they look uncomfortable and you don't look away - it's too long. If they notice you staring and they smile - smile back and look away. If they don't notice you staring - you can stare for a bit. But the second they notice you staring - if you keep staring at them for any length of time and they look uncomfortable - it's too long.
OP, you are always equating looking at women in public with looking at pictures of women for sexual arousal and that looking at pictures of women is your "sexuality."
Are you getting sexually aroused by staring at these women? Do you do it for erotic thrills?
OP, you are always equating looking at women in public with looking at pictures of women for sexual arousal and that looking at pictures of women is your "sexuality."
Are you getting sexually aroused by staring at these women? Do you do it for erotic thrills?
I'm talking about men checking out women in particular here. As a man, I like being looked at by women for three seconds.
Would anyone object to being checked out for three seconds?
If so, would these be reasonable objections or is such a person who would be offended by that too sensitive. Although we should notice if they are offended by being checked out for three seconds, and not look at them again at that point, we can't be expected to predict ahead of time that a person would be offended by a three second look, right?
There is a long tradition of men "enjoying the view" and I think that's a basic part of our sexuality. But I agree that it is important not to make people uncomfortable.
Also, I do believe that the habit of staring at pictures of women makes it easier to slip into bad habits in real life. But staring, not just glancing, at pictures of women also seems to be a long and fundamental male tradition. So this feels like a potentially tricky issue for me.
There is no reason to stare. Use your peripheral vision.*
You can glance at the person you are interested in (the 1 Mississippi rule was a very good suggestion). Just. 1. Mississippi.
Then you use your peripheral vision and wait to see if the person ever looks your way. When they do, you can try to catch their attention by turning your head and smiling.
I don't really know how to explain this, but don't stare using your peripheral vision either. Divide your attention. I guess I could say, don't put all of your attention to your peripheral vision (like staring blankly somewhere in front of you). Read a book while you do this or enjoy the scenery (no, not the women - try the trees or birds). Err, don't stare at pictures of women in magazines or anything while you do this, either.
*Unless you wear glasses. Then buy some contact lenses and use your peripheral vision.
As my son is autistic, I was recently researching group homes as a possible option when he gets older. I was talking with a woman there who broached the subject of teaching the various mentally disabled men there how to act around women... since they have all the urges but not the control or mentality to handle them properly sometimes.
She mentioned the 3 second rule as what they teach the men there. They can look at a woman for 3 seconds and then should look at something else so she doesn't feel uncomfortable.
So... there you go. You can practice the 3 second rule just like the men in the group home.
OP, just get some sunglasses and a cane and you can "take in her beauty" as much as you want.
Heck, you might be able to get away with copping a feel if you play it right.
Thank me later.
As my son is autistic, I was recently researching group homes as a possible option when he gets older. I was talking with a woman there who broached the subject of teaching the various mentally disabled men there how to act around women... since they have all the urges but not the control or mentality to handle them properly sometimes.
She mentioned the 3 second rule as what they teach the men there. They can look at a woman for 3 seconds and then should look at something else so she doesn't feel uncomfortable.
So... there you go. You can practice the 3 second rule just like the men in the group home.
If you read some of the posts in this thread the three second rule is not good enough; and I am only allowed to look for 1/2 second. That's not enough time.
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