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So essentially you are trying to convince yourself that it's okay be in a relationship with someone who blatantly commits insurance fraud via unemployment as well as tax evasion because he certainly isn't reporting his side income to the IRS. It doesn't sound like he has no ambition, it sounds like he's perfectly fine having the system take care of him. If that's the case he has no motivation to move beyond his level of comfort. It's much like the scene in that move Precious where her mom tells her not to show how smart she can be because she'll mess up their situation. He has what he thinks is a lifestyle that is "good enough" so from his perspective, why risk ruining it.
Why cange someone ? It is one thing if a guy leaves the toilet seat up or give up smoking that is not a big change . I just think if you want someone make big changes they will end up hating you in the end.
I'm in a very loving relationship, my boyfriend checks all the boxes for a great partner, at least emotionally and mentally. The thing about him that's been bothering me is... He's 25 and he has no ambition. It's a problem for me because even though I'm only 21, I think about our future a lot. I obviously want us to get married and have a family together one day. I'm in university, and constantly dwelling on my future. He's 25, never gone to college before and spends his time everyday doing nothing. We don't live together.
Why are you contemplating marriage with a guy like this? You two don't have much, if anything, in common. 21 is awfully young to be thinking about marriage, anyway. Your story doesn't come across as believable. How can he be a great partner emotionally and mentally if he's collecting benefits for mental/emotional problems?
I wouldn't look for a career as a fiction writer, if I were you.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-21-2014 at 02:46 AM..
This is such a blatant banner of don't just get out - get out now!
He will always be this way and you have listed some real heavy stuff you don't like about him which appears to far out weigh what you do like about him.
What I read between the lines here is you are only with him, because you are afraid you aren't going to find someone else, or someone who has the qualities about him you like?
You mention him being a good 'counselor' and that is telling in that are you looking for that? Is that something that you lean on? It's easy to be an armchair psychologist - there are a ton of them posting in your thread alone.
This is a mess which is already a set pattern - and don't blame his parents to justify his behavior it doesn't fly.
He is what he is and he's already figured out a way to skate around things and he will with you as well. You'll be supporting him alright - not just figuratively or emotionally.
They are looking for someone to take care of them.
Fast forward 5 years...
You are trying to cook, clean, feed and bathe 2 kids while he is sitting on the couch.
I think you know what to do.
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