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regarding guys who are just looking for sex/hookups: I don't understand why they don't just go to one of those sex finder sites, instead of online dating sites.
Older guys are maybe frustrated because they don't get enough responses? So after a while they turn from polite to just nasty?
Like the hot guys just throw their number at me and state they won't keep sending emails back and forth. Either I call them or they move on. So when I start texting, they mostly disappear anyway bec they probably have too many girls to choose from so they take the hottest.
I think it's because they are mad because they couldn't have me (or a woman like me). They believed all the myths about women that aren't true (such as all women desire much older men)and when they found out not true they got angry. A 75 year old man just isn't going to appeal to most 35 year old women.
regarding guys who are just looking for sex/hookups: I don't understand why they don't just go to one of those sex finder sites, instead of online dating sites.
I bet it's based on skank level. You might get a slightly more high caliber girl via the dating sites.
I say this based on experience, let's leave it at that.
I was really surprised when I started dating after my divorce (took almost a year and a half before I started dating) how many men online were still in the process or just divorced a few weeks/months ago. There is something to be said about giving yourself time to heal before trying to move on. I know everyone needs different amounts of time (some more and some less) but it seemed like a lot don't give themselves enough.
I think that many of these guys are so desperate for a woman they need one now. An ex is like that, he's been married three times and is engaged to #4 because he cant be alone. Personally when I have a breakup I need time to heal whether it's a few weeks or longer.
My last three OLD dates that went well were all separated but not yet divorced women, two were honest about it. What you said it equally true for both genders, really. Many women don't wait til they're even separated, they feel emotionally detached and moved on long before then.
This was so very true for me, personally. I felt emotionally detached from my husband long before I left him, and by the time I left, I felt I was ready to meet someone new. It's still up for debate whether I'm truly ready, four years later....arrrghhh.
I bet it's based on skank level. You might get a slightly more high caliber girl via the dating sites.
I say this based on experience, let's leave it at that.
But don't guys who just want sex want a "skank"?
I don't know exactly what skank means in this context, but it seems like these guys are looking for a woman who will put out right away with no fuss and not want more than sex.
My last three OLD dates that went well were all separated but not yet divorced women, two were honest about it. What you said it equally true for both genders, really. Many women don't wait til they're even separated, they feel emotionally detached and moved on long before then.
Good point. I just didn't know if women did the same or not. Sounds like they do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I think that many of these guys are so desperate for a woman they need one now. An ex is like that, he's been married three times and is engaged to #4 because he cant be alone. Personally when I have a breakup I need time to heal whether it's a few weeks or longer.
Must be a type of personality that "can't" be alone or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aneye4detail
This was so very true for me, personally. I felt emotionally detached from my husband long before I left him, and by the time I left, I felt I was ready to meet someone new. It's still up for debate whether I'm truly ready, four years later....arrrghhh.
Well, that's why I qualified things with everyone needing different amounts of time. Some people need more or less time to heal than others and I acknowledge that. If you are already emotionally detached before the marriage even ends, you probably need less time. What I am talking about was the type of men I met who where still, CLEARLY, not over their divorce. Nothing like a date consisting of a man complaining about how much he hates his ex-wife.
I was really surprised when I started dating after my divorce (took almost a year and a half before I started dating) how many men online were still in the process or just divorced a few weeks/months ago. There is something to be said about giving yourself time to heal before trying to move on. I know everyone needs different amounts of time (some more and some less) but it seemed like a lot don't give themselves enough.
I don't really see anything wrong with dating while you're separated but I would personally be too scared to take a chance on a stranger like that. The couple could get back together at any minute, or the guy could still be jittery/paranoid/hurt from the divorce and I can't handle taking that abuse or neglect. But I will say that there are some good men and women who are in separation. I would have to know the guy who is separated well and his situation.
I don't really see anything wrong with dating while you're separated but I would personally be too scared to take a chance on a stranger like that. The couple could get back together at any minute, or the guy could still be jittery/paranoid/hurt from the divorce and I can't handle taking that abuse or neglect. But I will say that there are some good men and women who are in separation. I would have to know the guy who is separated well and his situation.
Well, there is that, but the big deal (for me) with people in the process of divorcing is that it's a lot of drama and hurt for most people. I already went though my divorce and I wouldn't want to drag another person into the mess (and mine was fairly amicable too... we mediated everything, didn't even go to court). I know it's my opinion, but I think it's fundamentally unfair to the person you are dating to put them in the middle of your divorce. And if you have sex and your boyfriend or girlfriend is only seperated, in some states, that is considered adultery and, yes, you can become part of the divorce if the other part changes from no-fault to fault (adultery).
I don't date married people (which is what separated is... at least in my state since there is no legal separation) on principle. Drama stuff aside, it just seems wrong to me.
But you know, people can choose to date or not date who they want. I choose not to date people in the process. The only really beef I have with guys who are in the process of divorce and are dating is when they lie and say they are "divorced" or "single" when their status really is "separated." I found this out with men I've almost dated (they said they were divorced when they weren't--but it came out in phone conversations/messages before any date). One man was very defensive and angry about it... saying it was just a formality. Honestly, I was more annoyed that he lied to me about it (although I still wouldn't have dated him as I mentioned before).
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