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80% of all hot guys flaked before we met
10% of the hot guys had severe issues or were super broke or plain weird.
the other 10% were obese and/or bald despite their hot online profile pic.
60% of all okay/average looking guys flaked before we met
10% of every okay looking guy rejected me or we had no chemistry or they were super weird.
the other 30% were obese and/or bald despite their average online profile pic.
100% of all guys who were extremely unattractive liked me and were super nice but I rejected them.
LOL, yeah those odds suck. I don't have it quite down to the numbers like that. I first started doing online dating 10 years ago, and I took about a year and a half off when I was in a relationship (that was my longest relationship from OLD). Other than that, I've been doing it steadily for the entire 10 years and I think I've met about 60 guys, which isn't a whole lot over the course of 10 years. Everyone has always looked like their photos, so I guess I've been lucky in that regard. At least 50% of the time, we met just once and never saw each other again. I would say that I only felt a strong attraction to maybe 5-10 of the guys.
I don't know exactly what skank means in this context, but it seems like these guys are looking for a woman who will put out right away with no fuss and not want more than sex.
Actually, I'm not familiar with the sex finder sites, but I bet they charge money somehow. Plus how many women could there be out there who put themselves out there on a site JUST to have sex, as opposed to women who are on dating sites, looking for dating, but they are also willing to give it up pretty quickly, but they honestly want to date someone and are not specifically out trying to be a ho. So guys go looking on sites like POF, etc. and find those women.
actually marriages fail these days because our standards have decreased. think about it, people get married because they are pressured to do so. so what happens, they marry the first person they come across that seems to have at least the minimum of what they want in a person. but after a few years, they realize they dont have as much in common as they thought, so they decide that they want a divorce.
it also means that we have gotten lazy as well, and again our standards have decreased. instead of working at a marriage, they just give up and split up, and move on to the next unsatisfying relationship, only to marry and divorce again. perhaps then they learn the lessons from the first two, and actually take the time to find that right someone who really does fit their standards in more than just the minimum way possible, and they realize that marriage takes hard work if it is going to last, but that hard work is worth the effort in the end.
I disagree with the first part. Fewer people are going through with marriage. The problem is that too many people enter into it with a "love conquers all" attitude. But then a few years into the marriage, they realize that love isn't enough and some differences are just insurmountable.
Actually, I'm not familiar with the sex finder sites, but I bet they charge money somehow. Plus how many women could there be out there who put themselves out there on a site JUST to have sex...
I really don't know. I just know that there are a lot of women doing porn so they must be okay with just having sex. Guys who just want sex should find these women and I know these sex finder sites exist.
Well, there is that, but the big deal (for me) with people in the process of divorcing is that it's a lot of drama and hurt for most people. I already went though my divorce and I wouldn't want to drag another person into the mess (and mine was fairly amicable too... we mediated everything, didn't even go to court). I know it's my opinion, but I think it's fundamentally unfair to the person you are dating to put them in the middle of your divorce. And if you have sex and your boyfriend or girlfriend is only seperated, in some states, that is considered adultery and, yes, you can become part of the divorce if the other part changes from no-fault to fault (adultery).
I don't date married people (which is what separated is... at least in my state since there is no legal separation) on principle. Drama stuff aside, it just seems wrong to me.
But you know, people can choose to date or not date who they want. I choose not to date people in the process. The only really beef I have with guys who are in the process of divorce and are dating is when they lie and say they are "divorced" or "single" when their status really is "separated." I found this out with men I've almost dated (they said they were divorced when they weren't--but it came out in phone conversations/messages before any date). One man was very defensive and angry about it... saying it was just a formality. Honestly, I was more annoyed that he lied to me about it (although I still wouldn't have dated him as I mentioned before).
I have an issue with the bolded too. I hate lies. Everything else, I would work with for the right guy.
I see that you've missed the point. I can tell because you're now favorably comparing my distaste for reviewing thousands of people online, against the past in which parents set up marriages. I'm not in saying one should travel to the past and have one's parents find one's mate. I'm merely saying that with people all around in the city/town where we live, there is no reason to hop online and browse thousands of humans, many of whom live far away.
Can you search through thousands of humans? Sure! The technology is available. Is the technology improving your life and making it easier for you to find a better mate than using trad methods? Doubt it! In fact, the "screen thousands" dating technology falsely ups the ante, giving everyone the impression or feeling that a greater choice will automatically lead to finding a more attractive, better off person with a better personality. It's a new myth created by that technology.
Is it fun? Maybe, if what thrills you is lifting your hopes up and your adrenaline, constantly browsing through faces and profiles, e-mailing them, then praying and hoping the person posted an accurate photo, is not a liar, and is not a person with a rap sheet the size of his/her thigh.
To me, it is a huge waste of time.
There are so many things that are bad about dating websites. For example, dating websites go out of their way to give an impression that there are actually MORE people on the website looking for a mate, than there actually are. They do this using 2 methods. One is, that they continue to show everyone's photo and profile, regardless of whether you ever go on the website again. You can be married, live in Timbuktu, and have 10 kids, but the website is still posting and promoting your pic and profile to give everyone the impression that they actually have lots more people than they do. It's an ever-growing data base, most of which is not up to date, but that works to their advantage. The second way is by posting fake profiles and sending false e-mails.
Then there are the Princes of Nigeria scams on dating websites, and other such fake profiles by scam artists whose intent is to hook you into a false relationship online (which you think is real) by posting a sweet and lovely profile, fake region of the country, and a picture of a very hot girl. Once hooked, they then eventually ask you for $ help under some pretense (my sister is dying of leukemia and I can't go see you until I can pay for her bone marrow surgery, etc.)
Actually, it's you who missed the point. You made the argument that humans have managed just fine before online dating came along. But you can't compare today to 50 years without also taking into account how people's view of marriage has changed. 50 years ago, women relied on men to support them, which meant they had to focus more on who could be a good provider. Today, women are independent, freeing them to look at other factors and actually allowing them to be pickier.
Second, you say that there are all these people right around us. So why go online to search? Well, are you going to talk to every single person around you and interview them to see who you're actually compatible with? And in answer to your question about whether technology is making it easier to find a better mate, yes it is. Because I can filter out all the people who might wonderful, attractive people, but just wouldn't be compatible with me in the long run.
You also talk about getting your hopes up, sifting through profiles, emailing people, and hoping they respond and weren't lying about themselves. But most people who have experience with online dating don't go in with unrealistic expectations, they don't waste a lot of time scanning through profile since the filters make it easier to narrow your options, they don't email lots of people, and they sit around waiting for someone to respond. It really doesn't take up much of one's free time.
It's funny how you talk about inactive profile or fake profiles. Do you really think people can't spot those? Give people some credit. I think your problem is that you put too much faith in the traditional way of meeting people. Cause it's done such a wonderful job producing lasting marriages.
regarding guys who are just looking for sex/hookups: I don't understand why they don't just go to one of those sex finder sites, instead of online dating sites.
Agree¡¡¡
Sex is very easy to find and also you can buy it¡¡
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Online dating was horrible for me:
80% of all hot guys flaked before we met
10% of the hot guys had severe issues or were super broke or plain weird.
the other 10% were obese and/or bald despite their hot online profile pic.
Online dating sites = ****. Other forms of meeting online = probably decently better than meeting a bunch of people flopping their ass around to get your attention.
Spoiler
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Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-24-2014 at 10:35 AM..
Reason: Font color changed from red to black.
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