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1. The ones whose profiles have pictures, but not of themselves; instead the pictures show landscapes, oceans, sunsets, etc. Women, do you have any idea how utterly ANNOYING this is??? I don't want to hold hands with the Grand Canyon! I don't want to make out with Seattle's space needle! I don't want to have sex with the Egyptian pyramids! Is it too much to ask you to show...yourself?
2. The ones whose screen names contain the words "beauty" or "sexy" (e.g.- "PhillyBeauty4U" "SexyLawyer321," etc.) I'm sorry, but that just reeks of conceit and megalomania. It's fine to think of yourself as beautiful or sexy, but please keep it to yourself; don't TELL us you're beautiful or sexy; let us decide on our own.
3. The ones who appear in their pictures, BUT they're so far, far, far away that they're a visual footnote in their own damn picture. I'm sorry, women, but posting a far-away picture of yourself like that implies two things, neither of which is good: either you're too wimpy to reveal yourself or you're so cold and distant that you don't want anyone to get too close to you.
4. The ones who refer to themselves as "girl" or "gal" in their screen names. This isn't exactly a dealbreaker, but I'm not looking for girls; I'm looking for WOMEN. Every time I see a woman with a screen name like "SweetGirl453" or "FunJerseyGal," I always get a little nervous as I wonder whether she's an old-schooler when it comes to dating/relationships (i.e.- men should be heads of households, men should always make the first move, men should make more money than women, females should never be funny, etc.)
5. The ones with those if-you-had-to-pick-me-in-a-crowd pics: these women post plenty of pictures of themselves, but in each pic they're with several other women and I'm never quite sure which one is the woman whose profile I'm viewing. Women, we get it: you love your friends, but would it kill you to at least include some kind of caption that identifies which one you are? "I'm the one in yellow," "I'm the one holding the decapitated corpse," anything!
6. The ones who go adjective-crazy when it comes to describing either themselves or the guy they're interested in. You've seen these descriptions before: "I'm smart, curious, intellectual, adventurous, sexy, mysterious, loyal, compassionate," etc. I have a little theory: whenever someone uses more than three adjectives to describe him/herself, he/she is probably an a$$hole (assuming all the adjectives are positive). Even worse is when she then starts listing the adjectives for the guy she's looking for: "I'm interested in a guy who's fit, bookish, nerdy, spontaneous, technical, liberal, conservative, rugged, refined, gentle, rough, talkative, quiet," etc. I have a little theory: the longer the woman's list of adjectives (when it comes to the guy she's looking for), the more picky and hard-to-please she is.
7. The ones who reveal a lot of skin in their pictures. Yes, women, I know we men are visual creatures, but whenever I see a profile pic of a woman in a bikini or a purposefully low-cut blouse, I suspect she's implying that her body is all she has to offer. Maybe when I was 21 a great body was enough to sway me, but now that I'm 41, I'm very much into substance over style. I'll take a smart, funny woman with an okay body over a dim-witted, unfunny woman with a Playboy-centerfold body ANY day. And besides, I find it oddly MORE sexy when a woman is covered up; maybe because of the intrigue factor (I wonder how....that looks, or how that looks); for example, a picture of a woman in a sweater, skirt, and boots is much more sexy to me than a picture of a woman in a bra and panties.
8. The ones who don't bother to fill in the various parts of the profile (Self-Summary, Six Things I Can't Do Without, Favorite Movies/Shows/Food, etc.) and instead simply list their stats. To me, this says four possible things, all of them bad. 1st Possibility: she doesn't take the whole process seriously enough and is probably on there to, as many men suspect in regard to most OKCupid women, collect messages from fawning, drooling guys so she can boost her ego before deleting her account a few days later. 2nd Possibility: she doesn't know how to express herself well or lacks self-knowledge. 3rd Possibility: she knows how to express herself but chooses not to because she hates any type of self-revelation. 4th Possibility: she knows how to express herself but figures "Why bother? Men don't read, and all they're interested in are my looks, weight, age, etc."
9. The ones who show pictures of their pets. You know who you are, and here's my message to you: Your pets are NEVER as cute to us as they are to you.
10. The ones who don't give the ages of their kids. Sometimes letting me know their ages can help me decide whether or not to reply to the profile. (While my top preference is for women without kids, I'm willing to date women with kids who are teenagers or young adults; definitely not kids under 13).
11. I'm probably going to get some shyt for this one, but f*ck it, I'm in a bad mood, so here it goes: The ones who say that they love being around people of diverse backgrounds or who post pictures of themselves with friends of color, BUT they answer "Yes" to the question "Do you strongly prefer to date someone of your own skin color?" Answering "Yes" to that question seems to have the scent of hypocrisy: if you REALLY loved being around people of diverse backgrounds, then why draw the line at dating? As a person of color, I'm really irked by this. Maybe this is an oversimplification, but if you're okay with a black guy in your living room or kitchen, then why aren't you also okay with him in your bedroom?
12. The ones whose response to the "You Should Respond To This Profile If You..." is something like "You know who (insert some obscure, grossly esoteric person) is" or "You're a fan of (insert some obscure, grossly esoteric song/band/book/painter)." I hate when women do this, for three reasons. First, it kind of reeks of clannishness--i.e.- "I'm among the small fraction of people who like this person/thing, and I only want to date other people in that small fraction." Second, I could be wrong, but a response like that seems to be the woman's attempt (whether subconscious or conscious) at sabotaging the possibility of connecting with anyone...probably because she really doesn't want to, and what better way of ensuring that result than to think of some hard-to-fulfill requirement? And third (and most annoying), it's the woman's way of basically saying "I know I'm going to get hundreds of guys replying, so since I'm going to have the pick of the litter, I can afford to make this rare, probably unreasonable request."
13. I'm probably going to get some shyt for this one too, but f*ck it, I'm still in a bad mood, so here it goes: The ones who answer "Centrist" to the "How would you describe your political views?" question. I suspect that the women who answer "Centrist" are really Conservative, but because of all the negative baggage (and current lack of popularity) associated with that party, they say they're Centrist. In that respect, Centrist is like the political version of Bisexual: people who are probably really one thing (usually unfavorable in society's eyes), but because they aren't willing to be honest with themselves and/or other people about it, they put themselves in the safer, more acceptable (if only slightly) middle.
14. The ones who post artsy-ish, black-and-white pictures of themselves (in which they're usually not smiling). This just seems so pretentious to me. And it also seems like she takes herself WAY too seriously ("Look at me, I'm sooo intense"). Dishonorable mention should go to those pictures that aren't pictures but DRAWINGS/ILLUSTRATIONS of the woman: Okay, I get it--you're quirky and creative; that's fine; I love quirky & creative women, but please show that at least one of your feet is still firmly planted on planet Earth by including an actual non-illustrated picture of yourself.
Well, that's it. Feel free to add to this list or attack it or endorse it.
Last edited by QwertyHarry; 06-27-2014 at 06:31 PM..
I've got a few, about the guys who post to that or to other OLD sites:
1. The no-effort selfie. They point the camera vaguely in their own direction, then click. They're slightly out of range of the photo, and made zero effort to comb their hair, put on a decent shirt, or smile. The "I don't give a ****" pose. Then they send women messages criticizing their photos ("Could you post one where you're smiling/wearing a dress/showing more of yourself" etc.)
2. The guys whose opening line is "Hello ladies!" Lots of guys with that or something similar. Are they intending to date a particular woman, or just every/any woman?
3. This is specific to OKCupid. They don't bother answering the questionnaire. So their profile shows them as 10% match to all the women. Expecting replies, much?
4. Guys who post a photo of themselves posing with their ex (dressed up at an event, on vacation, etc.), with the ex's face cropped out. Just don't.
5. Guys who refuse to answer the standard profile question "Do you have children?" Yes or no question, there. "No comment" is an instant fail.
6. Older guys who, by the looks of their photos, are clearly lying about their age, and cutting off 20 years.
7. The ones who go on about how they're extremely successful in all aspects of their life, except for that one missing piece -- you! This is quite a cliche. No one's life is perfect...
8. Guys who wear shades in their photos. Do women do this in theirs?
Post #1 is an excellent example of how sexism makes everything a no-win situation: She can't be too sexy or unsexy, too picky or unpicky, too political or unpolitical, too friendly or unfriendly... and 99% of his concerns are about her pictures.
8. Guys who wear shades in their photos. Do women do this in theirs?
Of course, some more than others. I don't care about having some like that, as long as there's at least one with a clear view of her face without shades. One woman's profile I checked out had around eight pics. She was in all of them, and was wearing shades in every single one, smh.
This was me the entire time I went through this list:
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