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I feel like I have given up smoking all over again LOL.
Haven't had to do this in a long time. Intellectually I find it absurd that it is so hard. But, the rest of me feels otherwise.
I support NC because getting even a little hit of who I am trying to get over just starts the clock up again.
But I also find myself mad that I have already lost months of my life to someone who didnt deserve it yet I still have this intense longing then joy if I get a text, even a text of "Hey".
Life isnt fun sometimes
I have a swim fit class tonight, it is pretty hard and goes long, and am so grateful I can get some ARRRGH out underwater while I am doing some jumping squats.
It is a struggle. It's so simple but the fact that I am trying not to talk to someone I still care deeply for tortures me. I often wonder what he is doing, and how he is, and I feel absolutely stupid for it. It's been almost a year for me and since we last spoke. My feelings haven't really changed at all and I HATE it. I know he doesn't give to f**ks about me so why do I still care about him.
I try so hard to understand why, but I can't. It absolutely sucks. So from my experience it really sucks but I have come up with ways to deal with it when I have bad days. Whenever he likes a picture of me or whatever, my heart still flutters. I feel like a freaking teenager and pathetic.
So I know exactly how you feel. I have my days, but I would like think I am slowly getting over it day by day.
oh Aurelia, that is tough. I have done the "first three weeks" over and over but you are at year - oh my. I had an off and on thing for years with a man (like 15 years) and the NC was baaaad. The good part though - he did not make any attempts to contact me after our final goodbye. It helps, but hurts.
This one for me though, doesnt get it at all why I get mad when he contacts me. I cant even stand a hello. He isnt invested so he has no clue.
Why is why even on your FB page ? Cant you block or something?
oh Aurelia, that is tough. I have done the "first three weeks" over and over but you are at year - oh my. I had an off and on thing for years with a man (like 15 years) and the NC was baaaad. The good part though - he did not make any attempts to contact me after our final goodbye. It helps, but hurts.
This one for me though, doesnt get it at all why I get mad when he contacts me. I cant even stand a hello. He isnt invested so he has no clue.
Why is why even on your FB page ? Cant you block or something?
I'm not facebook anymore. He still follows me on instagram. I'm probably about to get off of there too.
For me, I find that NC is not a healthy way to break up.
Of course there are exceptions in cases of abuse or other psycho behaviour, but, in general, I think the assumption some people make that it is always the best just isn't true.
What I do is convert my ex's into friends. We still talk, hang out, etc. When needed, we talk about the relationship, but mostly we talk about other stuff. We help each other write OLD dating ads and talk about our dates, even .
For me, I find that NC is not a healthy way to break up.
Of course there are exceptions in cases of abuse or other psycho behaviour, but, in general, I think the assumption some people make that it is always the best just isn't true.
What I do is convert my ex's into friends. We still talk, hang out, etc. When needed, we talk about the relationship, but mostly we talk about other stuff. We help each other write OLD dating ads and talk about our dates, even.
Most people are not capable of this because it requires a detachment from emotions that most humans can't do.
My NC is good. I'm loyal to my own rules. It isn't easy, but they eventually get out of my head.
For me, I find that NC is not a healthy way to break up.
Of course there are exceptions in cases of abuse or other psycho behaviour, but, in general, I think the assumption some people make that it is always the best just isn't true.
What I do is convert my ex's into friends. We still talk, hang out, etc. When needed, we talk about the relationship, but mostly we talk about other stuff. We help each other write OLD dating ads and talk about our dates, even .
Ideally that sounds awesome. What happens with me though - I have never broken up because I lost feelings for them or just liked them as a friend, etc. My feelings are always very intact when I have to pull the trigger so I have to stay away or I stay attached FOREVER. And I mean years. It is like I am on their hook forever. This means no new men can crowd into my heart and I feel the rejection/pain forever.
I also need to do this just with ones I am gaga for that don't work out. Staying friendly with guys I date briefly or whatnot, no prob. On of my closest male friends for years was one I went on two dates with but neither had attraction for the other but we enjoyed hanging out.
btw - I dont think I am healthy about this stuff in the least
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