My friend has sex with me when he's drunk? (dating, boyfriend, girls)
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Im not dating now even though recently I felt kinda lonely and was considering it. I wanted advice on something thats been happening lately with a close friend of mine.
Like me and him have had an emotional connection ever since we met three years ago. We are super close and hang out. He made it very clear that he wasn't attracted to me physically so that's why we never dated. We had an honest talk and he said I was homely looking and that the physical attraction wasn't there. I said I understood and was fine with being friends though I liked him and felt attracted to him. I told him how I felt but he said physically I was not his type. I was bummed at first but moved on and everything has been fine.
But lately we've been hanging out together drunk and he practically attacks me lol. Not like a violence or rape, I just mean he's all over me and kissing me and such. This will happen... I got to his place and then we'll hang out and talk and then we will drink him more than me and then he'll want to have sex and its like crazy passionate and it makes me feel wanted and its really good.
The next day he doesn't mention it and everything goes back to normal. Its just confusing. He doesn't avoid talking about it, but Ill bring it up and he's like, "Meh. Whatever" about it. He tells me he cares about me and everything else is there. But after we make love and the next day all that passion is gone and he's back to treating me like a friend.
Is it just a drunk thing? Is he really into me? I don't really know what he's thinking.
It's kind of a drunk thing, but it's mostly an assh*le thing.
Honestly, I am surprised you kept hanging around him after he told you that you were too "homely" for him. That's pretty cruel.
Now he is using you, and you let him because you feel good and "wanted" during that short time. This means you don't feel very good about yourself, and THAT is what you need to work on.
He does not sound like a friend. He sounds like a careless user who sees you as a way to get off with no accountability for your feelings whatsoever. Stop drinking with him.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 07-24-2014 at 11:43 AM..
Seems like a FWB thing. He likes you as a friend, and he enjoys sex. It's just something extra to do with a friend you are already on good terms with.
But it doesn't seem like he wants to date you, or get serious. He likes you as a friend, and he likes sex. That's all. Apparently he doesn't have any other girls-his type-around for sex. But he can have it with a good friend though. He's kind of using you. So, maybe you need to cut the sex off.
He outright called you ugly, and it seems your self-esteem is so low, you will sleep with him because you like him, and he makes you feel good about yourself. But none of this is healthy or genuine.So, if he's a friend, he will still be a friend if you tell him "no more drunk sex."
I find it strange that he told you he's not attracted to you, yet seems to find you attractive when drunk. So there's gotta be some attraction going on somewhere within. Then again, men can just be horndogs and have that horniness increased with alcohol and will screw anything that's there, I guess.
I find it strange that he told you he's not attracted to you, yet seems to find you attractive when drunk. So there's gotta be some attraction going on somewhere within. Then again, men can just be horndogs and have that horniness increased with alcohol and will screw anything that's there, I guess.
Yeah thats what I dont get?! I asked him and he just says oh, i was drunk, we were drunk.... I asked him again but over text and he said "It's not physically there for me". But when we have sex it's a different story
I mean we both get more than tipsy but not completely smashed
It's kind of a drunk thing, but it's mostly an assh*le thing.
Honestly, I am surprised you kept hanging around him after he told you that you were too "homely" for him. That's pretty cruel.
Now he is using you, and you let him because you feel good and "wanted" during that short time. This means you don't feel very good about yourself, and THAT is what you need to work on.
He does not sound like a friend. He sounds like a careless user who sees you as a way to get off with no accountability for your feelings whatsoever.
well maybe? i guess we just have honest conversations and he was honest with me about how he felt about my looks.
plus he's normally nice to me, genuinely listens and he has helped me out w/ groceries because Ive had bad luck lately.
I dont know if he's using me? Is it still if I like it? I never resist or anything. just feel confused
I hate to be blunt but there is an old saying "why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free?"
This guy sounds like he is using you. He doesn't love you. I wonder if you had a steady boyfriend which meant no sex for him if this clod would still be your friend?
Dump him or at least stop having drunk sex with him.
Above all I hope you guys are using protection.
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