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So since February my boyfriend has been asking me to move in with him this coming September. We starting talking in July '13 (online but were countries apart), finally in Nov he got back to the US to the city I live in and thought he lived in too, but after 2 months of dating he went away again (similar to deployment). I told him I did not expect that and did not see having a relationship that was mainly long distance. He said it was not forever and in Sept he wanted me to move in with him (5 hours away though, not in the city I was in anymore). He returned but took a job across the country, again asking me to wait. This entire time he has been telling everyone how when my daughter goes away to college this fall he wants me to move in. I have never agreed to this, because it's so far away and also was not sure if we were ready/if he was right for me. This past week after spending several days with him we talked and he said, yes we will live together Sept-Mar in temp housing because he is taking a course, then we will decide where we will love permanently. How I will only be 1 hour from my daughter and her college if I move in with him. How I can bring my dog. How since, all his things are in storage, I can put my household of things in there too and then when his course is over we will move somewhere permanent together. Attempting to sell me on this as he has been doing for months. So I decided I was willing to make a commitment to moving in finally, I don't agree unless I'm 100% and also I don't want to commit to moving in to play house, or to see if it will work, I only am willing to do it if I completely believe in it.
Constantly trying to to sell me on this idea for many months now, I agree to it and his response? Well how does your daughter feel about it? Maybe you should just keep your place for now so she has somewhere to go for christmas (i'm jewish and not even practicing). Maybe just move in with me but keep your house. Does this not seem like he is backing out? Not really making a full commitment and being wishy washy? Why would I keep an empty house 5 hours away unless it is because he does not 100% believe in this, or does he really worry about her christmas break? Opinions?
So since February my boyfriend has been asking me to move in with him this coming September. We starting talking in July '13 (online but were countries apart), finally in Nov he got back to the US to the city I live in and thought he lived in too, but after 2 months of dating he went away again (similar to deployment). I told him I did not expect that and did not see having a relationship that was mainly long distance. He said it was not forever and in Sept he wanted me to move in with him (5 hours away though, not in the city I was in anymore). He returned but took a job across the country, again asking me to wait. This entire time he has been telling everyone how when my daughter goes away to college this fall he wants me to move in. I have never agreed to this, because it's so far away and also was not sure if we were ready/if he was right for me. This past week after spending several days with him we talked and he said, yes we will live together Sept-Mar in temp housing because he is taking a course, then we will decide where we will love permanently. How I will only be 1 hour from my daughter and her college if I move in with him. How I can bring my dog. How since, all his things are in storage, I can put my household of things in there too and then when his course is over we will move somewhere permanent together. Attempting to sell me on this as he has been doing for months. So I decided I was willing to make a commitment to moving in finally, I don't agree unless I'm 100% and also I don't want to commit to moving in to play house, or to see if it will work, I only am willing to do it if I completely believe in it.
Constantly trying to to sell me on this idea for many months now, I agree to it and his response? Well how does your daughter feel about it? Maybe you should just keep your place for now so she has somewhere to go for christmas (i'm jewish and not even practicing). Maybe just move in with me but keep your house. Does this not seem like he is backing out? Not really making a full commitment and being wishy washy? Why would I keep an empty house 5 hours away unless it is because he does not 100% believe in this, or does he really worry about her christmas break? Opinions?
Can you rent out your place? I say keep it also. It's a sound investment in case the relationship goes south.
Granted, it seems like an easy out for him. But its also a safetynet for you and esp your daughter.
my daughter is starting college though and moving out next month......yes i could probably rent it out but i guess my point is if he wants an easy out then I don't want to move in with him regardless
my daughter is starting college though and moving out next month......yes i could probably rent it out but i guess my point is if he wants an easy out then I don't want to move in with him regardless
Agreed. Then don't move in with him. I would keep my place, but only because it was my choice. Not because some guy told me to. (it's financially smart)
well I tend to agree, but tell me why? I almost feel like he has been spending months saying wait baby, wait and we will move in together just so I would not leave him and now is being wishy washy
I'm not sure why, but I'm getting a hinky feeling about this. (Although I think it is possible that you have communicated your doubts so many times that he has now gotten cold feet a little, too, or he wants to make sure you know that you have a certain amount of freedom and flexibility.)
Maybe wait until you can both move together into a permanent place that works for both of you? Moving is stressful no matter what, and at the very least, the plan as it stands now sounds like a lot of upheaval for very little stability at the end.
I can't tell you why he is like this. Sorry. This is just hedging.
haha, I just meant why do you think it's poo, not why he is like this hedging?
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hedging?
