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Have to agree with the last two posts. OP is probably average looking at best. Decent looking girls would be getting responses to her messages. Maybe not every single one, but I'd wager at least half. If you're only average looking or below, you're going to have send out more messages to get that response. 5-10 messages isn't enough. Guys often send out way more just to get one response. You're just going to have to suck it up and keep trying.
I decided to up my game and be more assertive on OkCupid. I have a profile that I recently put back up because I moved to a new area. I re-worked my profile to make it clear, concise, interesting, and not 10 paragraphs long.
In the last 48 hours I have messaged 5 men with simple messages, but showing I have read their profile and mentioning things I like and/or areas we have in common and asked open ended questions. All of them are 80%+ matches with me, and no, I'm not reaching above my "level."
Of course, none of them have messaged me back, even though 4/5 have been online in the last 24 hours. Not even a "Thanks, not interested." For the record, I respond to every message I get except for the obnoxious "DTF?" ones. I sent messages to 2 other men this month, and neither of them responded either.
So I'm just posting this to point that when guys complain that women never contact, please keep in mind that some of us do and we get the same silence that you get, even when we send nice messages.
Oh well, back the drawing board!
We aren't "all complaining". I, for one, have never complained. It's worked great for me.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,153,374 times
Reputation: 3814
I would just like to throw out there that maybe all this 'plugging into the matrix' has helped change society for the worse, and brought common courtesy down to the level of passe, or uncool even. In some circles, no reply = no thank you, so you really cant expect one.
Maybe people should look at it like a fishing expedition - cast out several glib one-liner baits, and see if you catch anything in the way of a reply.
Maybe people should try really uping their game, and leaving their house, and seeing if they can bump into someone interesting out there in real life. *shrugs*
Maybe people should try really uping their game, and leaving their house, and seeing if they can bump into someone interesting out there in real life. *shrugs*
Places I attend regularly in which I haven't bumped into someone interesting in my desired dating age range of 35-45 the last two years since I've been interested in dating again:
grocery store
gym
gas station while pumping gas
Meetup-both special interest and social groups-I did meet someone I clicked with a few months ago but he has a girlfriend.
kayaking class
photography class
OKC and Match.com
speed dating
knife skills class
rock climbing class
East Coast (too young) and West Coast Swing (too old) dancing
volunteering
weddings
pub trivia
board game groups
open game night parties at my house in which my friends are encouraged to bring friends because you never know who they might know.
science and history lectures
community theater plays and improv comedy nights
bike riding on a couple of popular local trails-lots of families on these but not much else.
I don't drink so I'm not one to hang out in bars, other than for pub trivia. I also have 5 friends who have been on the lookout for someone with potential for over a year without a single lead.
*shrugs*
Last edited by NWGirl74; 08-01-2014 at 08:33 PM..
Reason: bold is the key phrase
You can meet some great people but I would look for local people.
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No one has to be perfect to have successful online dating. 
