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No not his kids. Ours and hers from previous relationship. Not his. He is just an ex husband
OK, then you need to TELL HER how you feel and you two should talk about it. Ask her why she goes and let her know you don't like it.
Maybe you both can understand each other, but if you can't or if she continues to go without telling you, then you will need to decide what to do next.
I dont mind her going to see him. ITS THE HIDING THE FACT FROM ME THAT MAKES ME QUESTION WHY IS SHE HIDING IT AND WHAT ELSE IS SHE HIDING?
When I was going out of town for three weeks of work last month I said id pass through her office to say good bye. Of course at that time she forgot and went to see him in jail too.
When she starts hiding, I start questioning what it is she is hiding.
Not trying to compare apples to oranges, but I can tell you why I chose to hide it from my brother. My brother has always been my hero.
I hid from him because of the following reasons
1. I am embarrassed
2. I don't want to hear lecturing. Trust me, my brother lectures me.
3. I don't want ANYBODY to think that I have romantic feelings towards my friend because they always do.
My ex boyfriends knew I visit him. They are okay with it. I am not sure if they can be okay with it if the friend is my ex. So I cannot speak for all men in the similar situation.
Yes, these inmates do have to buy necessaties like tooth paste, tooth brush, etc.
I tend to believe that if I hide something from a person, the ugliness will go away. But I guarantee you that I have never tried to hurt anybody. I would like to believe your wife thinks just like I do.
Have a conversation with her.
Remember the jail visitation is not a pleasant experience for the visitors at all. She perhaps just wants to help somebody out. It might not be a big deal in her mind.
So I'm thoroughly confused. You said this is your wife. But in another thread asking for advice, you said you just recently moved in with your girlfriend. So you just have a wife, and it's the same person. You just call her your girlfriend because you have forgotten that she is your wife?
This will influence how I respond, so I'm hoping for some clarification before doing so.
I dont mind her going to see him. ITS THE HIDING THE FACT FROM ME THAT MAKES ME QUESTION WHY IS SHE HIDING IT AND WHAT ELSE IS SHE HIDING?
When I was going out of town for three weeks of work last month I said id pass through her office to say good bye. Of course at that time she forgot and went to see him in jail too.
When she starts hiding, I start questioning what it is she is hiding.
It sounds like she is going to see him in jail once a month, and doesn't know how to tell you before she goes. The age old adage of, "Its better to ask forgiveness then permission" may come to mind.
If you truly do not mind her going to see him every now and then, then sit her down, and tell her that. Let her know that when she goes without telling you that its hurtful, and you feel its dishonest for her to go and not tell you.
She will probably say, "Well I didn't want to hurt you" or something to that effect.
Whether or not you stay with her, or any of this remains ok with you is up to you. What I would do in your situation is of no consequence, because I don't know y'alls whole story, and I haven't walked a mile in y'alls shoes.
But she is being dishonest for some reason, whether its to not hurt you, or to play you, is the question.
I dont see how any of you would be okay with this.
If this is the father of her children I don't see the issue with her going to visit and updating him on the welfare of the children.
Other than that, she is a grown woman, she is single, she does not have to ask you for permission to do anything, she does not answer to you.
You just happen to be the guy she is dating at the moment.
Get over it or move on.
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