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Seriously. And people wonder why women feel objectified.
The real question is: why do any men ever have relationships with women if they can just buy what they want?
Women are objectified because their own gender willingly and gladly allows them to be objectified just look at car magazines and Magazines like Playboy and Maxim just to name a few, Victoria's Secret store fronts and tv shows. As far as men being able to "buy what they want" well that is the thing, it is just not that simple, the law prohibits paying for sex and that brings the element of risk of prosecution and public embarassment into the picture which probably keeps a lot of men from doing it but if it wasn't like that there would probably be less relationships.
Women are objectified because their own gender willingly and gladly allows them to be objectified just look at car magazines and Magazines like Playboy and Maxim just to name a few, Victoria's Secret store fronts and tv shows. As far as men being able to "buy what they want" well that is the thing, it is just not that simple, the law prohibits paying for sex and that brings the element of risk of prosecution and public embarassment into the picture which probably keeps a lot of men from doing it but if it wasn't like that there would probably be less relationships.
That's not why women are objectified - massive oversimplification. That's a RESULT of it. In the context of this thread, I was referring to a different kind anyway.
And men made these laws. Why? Why make laws that prevent you from what you want?
Why have social shame over it? Men set these mores up - not women (we didn't have that power; if any thing, women's lib opened up the door MORE for this sort of thing).
I'm being entirely serious - why have a relationship at all? If this is what most men want, and they act on it, then laws & public opinion will adjust accordingly, because it will be too much of a majority. Why not just do what you want?
Single male friends... yes. Three. One is 10 years younger than me and has a live-in girlfriend. Another is 72-years-old and lives on the opposite coast, and the third is actually the man I dated earlier this year who also lives far away. ...
The vast majority of my friends are my age, in their 30s and 40s and are married.
And this is the central problem! Once we reach a certain age, the vast majority of our social circle becomes married, or at least stably coupled. The exceptions are persons old enough to be our parents (mainly widows and widowers), or young enough to be our children (they are our friends' children) - and both categories are presumably off-limits.
It's hard to understand for members of the college-crowd, who are surrounded by at least hypothetically available people, who those in the older generation simply don't have anyone within their social circle who remains sexually available. At work, nobody is single - not a one. In my meetup.com groups, very very few are single, and those are men (in other words, there are zero single women).
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
It's often repeated but makes little sense. As if the prostitute really wants to have sex for free and stay afterward for some reason, but the john pays to get her out the door. Sure, the hooker would rather hang out and make him pancakes or something, but he pays her to leave.
The premise of this oft-repeated adage is that the prostitute is no-strings-attached sex. It's anonymous. There are no lasting entanglements, as there potentially would have been, had the sex occurred say between casual acquaintances sharing the same social group.
However, there is a category of men – and presumably a large one! – who crave both sex, and companionship, and partnership, and essentially everything that a normal relationship entails, save perhaps for the nagging and the threat of divorce. Such men would gladly pay for what might be termed a higher form of prostitution, where they enjoy the exclusive and long-term company of the lady.
What I'd dearly like to see legal and legitimized isn't prostitution per se, but a form of employment for women akin to a temp agency. A person can get a regular job, say as clerk - or they can sign up at a temp agency, and the agency will then be hired by regular employers to provide temporary employees when the employer has a temporary surge in business. Along similar lines, the "sexual temp agency" would have women on-call. The client then comes in, and "recruits" them (for a fee, of course), for a set period of time.
One time a long time ago I was talking with some co-workers and I was young and fresh faced and wet behind the ears and these guys were older than me and the subject of prostitution came up and one of the guys was a military vet and apparently there are parts of the world you go to and prostitution ain't no thing but a chicken wing according to him anyway.
So we were talking and I ask in all my young earnestness why they'd be interested in paying for sex, cause to me I had some ego in it and I thought, "I ain't going to pay for a woman to have sex with me" ... I was full of the brass ones and expected a woman to "want me"
One of the old timers told me. "I don't pay for sex, I pay them to leave."
For better or worse, that's what he said....... not necessarily my sentiments... but something I've heard straight from the horses mouth... so to speak....
That's not why women are objectified - massive oversimplification. That's a RESULT of it. In the context of this thread, I was referring to a different kind anyway.
And men made these laws. Why? Why make laws that prevent you from what you want?
Why have social shame over it? Men set these mores up - not women (we didn't have that power; if any thing, women's lib opened up the door MORE for this sort of thing).
I'm being entirely serious - why have a relationship at all? If this is what most men want, and they act on it, then laws & public opinion will adjust accordingly, because it will be too much of a majority. Why not just do what you want?
Why men made these laws? Well I certainly wasn't one of those men so I don't have the answer for that but I suppose those who did felt that they had the right to tell women what is right for them which I think is wrong. But they certainly were influenced by religious beliefs and all that but that is a different matter.
Why men made these laws? Well I certainly wasn't one of those men so I don't have the answer for that but I suppose those who did felt that they had the right to tell women what is right for them which I think is wrong. But they certainly were influenced by religiuos beliefs and all that but that is a different matter.
And where did religious beliefs come from? If you don't believe in it, then they would be man-made also.
Why would men tell women something is right or wrong for them if it doesn't even benefit them (the men)?
There seems to be a chasm between the societies men have built and what they really want. Why?
And where did religious beliefs come from? If you don't believe in it, then they would be man-made also.
Why would men tell women something is right or wrong for them if it doesn't even benefit them (the men)?
There seems to be a chasm between the societies men have built and what they really want. Why?
Once again, I wasn't among those men who built those societies, the thing is that men in power have the ability to control other's lives (to some extent of course) , and some of those men who make those laws are the first one to break them but that is life unfortunately. I am not saying that most men want to pay for sex but many of them do, maybe more than we think but because of the laws that prohibit doing so many do not go for it. As far as why men pay for sex well each man has his own reasons but those who are against prostitution don't want to hear any of it because it doesn't fit their agenda.
And this is the central problem! Once we reach a certain age, the vast majority of our social circle becomes married, or at least stably coupled. The exceptions are persons old enough to be our parents (mainly widows and widowers), or young enough to be our children (they are our friends' children) - and both categories are presumably off-limits.
It's hard to understand for members of the college-crowd, who are surrounded by at least hypothetically available people, who those in the older generation simply don't have anyone within their social circle who remains sexually available. At work, nobody is single - not a one. In my meetup.com groups, very very few are single, and those are men (in other words, there are zero single women).
The premise of this oft-repeated adage is that the prostitute is no-strings-attached sex. It's anonymous. There are no lasting entanglements, as there potentially would have been, had the sex occurred say between casual acquaintances sharing the same social group.
However, there is a category of men – and presumably a large one! – who crave both sex, and companionship, and partnership, and essentially everything that a normal relationship entails, save perhaps for the nagging and the threat of divorce. Such men would gladly pay for what might be termed a higher form of prostitution, where they enjoy the exclusive and long-term company of the lady.
What I'd dearly like to see legal and legitimized isn't prostitution per se, but a form of employment for women akin to a temp agency. A person can get a regular job, say as clerk - or they can sign up at a temp agency, and the agency will then be hired by regular employers to provide temporary employees when the employer has a temporary surge in business. Along similar lines, the "sexual temp agency" would have women on-call. The client then comes in, and "recruits" them (for a fee, of course), for a set period of time.
Good points ^^. I see an eventual trend to something like the futuristic "Circuit" from the scifi movie Logan's Run. Between all the variants of internet / online attempts to 'provide' a service to meet demand.
What's most disheartening is the disparity in understanding of each sexes holistic functioning and needs. I've posted the following in various threads about Wilhelm Reich and I think his philosophical and scientific approach / attitude toward understanding human sexuality was much more healthy than what we've ended up with - between religious dogmatic ideas, mass media conditioning, et. al. which, for all intents and purposes, is to either rigidly control or 'manage' humans by their fears, lust, and to be controllable disenchanted consumers who feel they must buy something or some solution to be more 'sexually' desirable.
Men pay for sex in many ways, other than direct cash payments to prostitutes. Ever seen a 50 year old man with a woman close to his daughters age? It looks more respectable, but in many cases, its just about the same thing. Men pay for sex cause they can't get it free.
Single male friends... yes. Three. One is 10 years younger than me and has a live-in girlfriend. Another is 72-years-old and lives on the opposite coast, and the third is actually the man I dated earlier this year who also lives far away. He flaked on me and suddenly cut off things saying he couldn't do a long-distance relationship and he couldn't give me what he thought I needed (even though I never asked for anything so I have no idea what he thinks I "need"). He agreed to stay friends with me though. I've stayed at his house since then when I've been in his town and he's never made a move since... other than giving me a hug and a peck on the cheek. We were friends, dated, and now friends again.
I have four single female friends too. But I don't swing that way.
The vast majority of my friends are my age, in their 30s and 40s and are married.
Jillabean, I'm not saying your married male friends will cheat but looking at the history of the world being in a relationship has never stopped men from getting extra play on the side. And alot of the time it's when another woman approached him.
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