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We started texting and hanging out often when he had an difficult time with his ex. And when they finally broke up we became really close.
I knew he felt painful about the broke up, so I'm always there for him. We've built an emotional bond. We texted all the time and shared everything, and we hang out one on one a lot. He also introduced his best mates to me. We also share a same room when we were on a trip.
The other day he told me his ex asked him to meet her for she was leaving the city soon, so he hanged out with her a couple of days. He said she's very nice and he would like to care her as his best friend, but he doesn't love her like that any more, now just friends. So i'm cool with it.
But he didn't told me that he actually KISSED and HAD SEX with her during those days. I found it out from his texts with her (sorry I knew it's not good). I asked him why he did that now that they're just friends, he simply said he knew it wasn't good but she's really beautiful and he couldn't help.
Then i told him I couldn't accept that he's being close with me and at the same time he's sleeping with his ex. Then he said we're just friends now and he doesn't have any obligation to me. Then I asked him whether his ex knows about us he said no, and asked me not to tell her (as I'm friend of her as well).
I am sorry that you are in this situation. As I read you were hanging out with him when he was already had a girl friend. I don't think that he is really in to a serious commitment. If you want some serious you better not to hang out with guys who is already involve with some one already. May be you can openly talk to him and let him know how you feel about this might help to work it out.
We started texting and hanging out often when he had an difficult time with his ex. And when they finally broke up we became really close.
I knew he felt painful about the broke up, so I'm always there for him. We've built an emotional bond. We texted all the time and shared everything, and we hang out one on one a lot. He also introduced his best mates to me. We also share a same room when we were on a trip.
The other day he told me his ex asked him to meet her for she was leaving the city soon, so he hanged out with her a couple of days. He said she's very nice and he would like to care her as his best friend, but he doesn't love her like that any more, now just friends. So i'm cool with it.
But he didn't told me that he actually KISSED and HAD SEX with her during those days. I found it out from his texts with her (sorry I knew it's not good). I asked him why he did that now that they're just friends, he simply said he knew it wasn't good but she's really beautiful and he couldn't help.
Then i told him I couldn't accept that he's being close with me and at the same time he's sleeping with his ex. Then he said we're just friends now and he doesn't have any obligation to me. Then I asked him whether his ex knows about us he said no, and asked me not to tell her (as I'm friend of her as well).
I'm really upset know, what should I do?
So you were totally cool being the rebound consolation prize and now you're shocked when that didn't work out?
Is he using me or really care about me and want to be with me?
If that question crossed your mind - it's most likely true.
If something in your gut says, "Don’t trust this…this doesn't seem right" - you should trust your instincts or at least pay attention to your feelings, and use them as information in forming your opinion.
We started texting and hanging out often when he had an difficult time with his ex. And when they finally broke up we became really close.
I knew he felt painful about the broke up, so I'm always there for him. We've built an emotional bond. We texted all the time and shared everything, and we hang out one on one a lot. He also introduced his best mates to me. We also share a same room when we were on a trip.
The other day he told me his ex asked him to meet her for she was leaving the city soon, so he hanged out with her a couple of days. He said she's very nice and he would like to care her as his best friend, but he doesn't love her like that any more, now just friends. So i'm cool with it.
But he didn't told me that he actually KISSED and HAD SEX with her during those days. I found it out from his texts with her (sorry I knew it's not good). I asked him why he did that now that they're just friends, he simply said he knew it wasn't good but she's really beautiful and he couldn't help.
Then i told him I couldn't accept that he's being close with me and at the same time he's sleeping with his ex. Then he said we're just friends now and he doesn't have any obligation to me. Then I asked him whether his ex knows about us he said no, and asked me not to tell her (as I'm friend of her as well).
I'm really upset know, what should I do?
If he can't "control himself" when it comes to being around a beautiful woman, I don't think you want to start a relationship with him unless you're into that kind of thing yourself. Thats for certain.
HOWEVER!!!!, he is just going through a divorce, divorce screws with your head, you do things you wouldn't normally do, and there are indeed times when, you simply can not help yourself and you want to slap yourself the next day.
I would tell him that you'll be his friend, but he needs to date a bit, and not date you. After a year of being your friend, then see if he still wants to date.
If the two of you never became an official couple, or never discussed exclusivity, then really you have no leg to stand on. Sounds like you were proceeding in that grey area where is "feels" like something serious is beginning but no one explicitly says what it is, or if it is really anything at all. So you are screwed.
He sounds like he was hurt and leaning on you as a rebound but he's not in love or anything. Even if he really likes you (and if you have had sex... well lots of people, especially some guys, can use sex to feel better when they are down, and to feel close to someone in the moment) it doesn't mean he thinks of you as his next girlfriend. You can be "the cool chick that boosted his ego when he was down" and nothing more. Like a step up from a friend, maybe a friend with benefits, but not a girlfriend.
Of course I may be wrong and the only way to know is to talk to him. But he might lie or hedge what he says now to make sure you stay around, now that you have shown anger and/or jealousy. Be careful.
Either way you need to learn your lesson here. No assumptions. Make people be clear about their intentions from now on. And don't stand for the mealy mouthed stuff, tell them not to come to you until they know what they want (unless of course you are okay with the grey).
We started texting and hanging out often when he had an difficult time with his ex. And when they finally broke up we became really close.
I knew he felt painful about the broke up, so I'm always there for him. We've built an emotional bond. We texted all the time and shared everything, and we hang out one on one a lot. He also introduced his best mates to me. We also share a same room when we were on a trip.
The other day he told me his ex asked him to meet her for she was leaving the city soon, so he hanged out with her a couple of days. He said she's very nice and he would like to care her as his best friend, but he doesn't love her like that any more, now just friends. So i'm cool with it.
But he didn't told me that he actually KISSED and HAD SEX with her during those days. I found it out from his texts with her (sorry I knew it's not good). I asked him why he did that now that they're just friends, he simply said he knew it wasn't good but she's really beautiful and he couldn't help.
Then i told him I couldn't accept that he's being close with me and at the same time he's sleeping with his ex. Then he said we're just friends now and he doesn't have any obligation to me. Then I asked him whether his ex knows about us he said no, and asked me not to tell her (as I'm friend of her as well).
I'm really upset know, what should I do?
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He doesn't care about anything but himself.
You were hanging out with him before he broke up with his ex, so basically he was cheating on her. Why are you so surprised he would turn around and cheat on you, too?
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He doesn't care about anything but himself.
You were hanging out with him before he broke up with his ex, so basically he was cheating on her. Why are you so surprised he would turn around and cheat on you, too?
I hate that "once a cheater" line.
For one, its total bull. Lots of married couples that overcome a mans infidelity, and move on to a better relationship and no one cheats again. For another, if you are not in that position, how do you know what you'd do.
75% of men and 60% of women polled said they would likely have an affair if they knew no one would find out.
Under your assumption, most everyone isn't worth dating.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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True, Memphis.
And he couldn't have cheated since there doesn't have seemed to been a commitment.
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