I'm in a tough spot (guy, friend, betray, friendship)
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I agree with 4DM1N that you should tell your buddy how you feel. Tough call on whether you should "advise" him to end it with her. His actions, his responsibility.
Frankly, I would lose all respect for the guy and I'd end it as a friend. Easy for me to say not knowing how tight a "bro bond" there is, "sacred" is a pretty heavy word. Heck, he could have saved your life for all we know.
What will you do if she asks you about his "assignations", especially if it's a tearful and emotional plea? Is your "sacred bond" strong enough to cover for your "bud"?
I don't get why you'd remain friends with someone who treated other people so poorly. I'm not saying you need to break off your friendship with anyone who cheats on their partner. But this isn't NORMAL cheating - meaning an unintended affair driven by real feelings or a drunken slip up on a business trip. It's deliberate, calculated and planned, with very little emotion involved. He is planning to deceive his partner and essentially make a fool of her. That's not someone you can trust to have your back as a friend. And apparently he has been doing this all along with his "women."
I fully believe anyone is capable of cheating and that it's just generally a crappy thing to do. But it's also kind of just something that can happen. Sometimes good people cheat, and sometimes really awful people cheat. Your friend sounds like the latter. He's showing you exactly what kind of person he is. Don't think you're special - if you're in the way of something he wants, you'll be collateral damage too.
Frankly, I'd steer clear of them both - she sounds like she bought into a really dysfunctional situation with her eyes open. But in particular, I'd steer clear of him.
I don't like people who don't treat others well, and I've got a lot of really good people in my life. They don't do things like this. Why are your standards of character so low for your friends?
Well we are good friends since high school, so that's a huge factor. And he shows me respect and such. And for a long time, he was a changed man when he meet his current GF. But somehwere along the way, he reverted back to his old habits i guess.
Well we are good friends since high school, so that's a huge factor. And he shows me respect and such. And for a long time, he was a changed man when he meet his current GF. But somehwere along the way, he reverted back to his old habits i guess.
I'm 38. Still have the same two best friends since the first day of high school. They are two of the best people I know, and that helps ME be a better person.
On the other hand, my father is a very selfish and amoral person. He has been lifelong best friends with one of the most morally strong men I know. My father, when around his best friend, is very careful in his behavior. He has never dragged his best friend into any of his crap or drama. His best friend has walked the tricky line of having a best friend who is a borderline sociopath by setting firm boundaries as to what is acceptable, and walking away any time my father has tried to drag him into anything.
Frankly, I wouldn't have the patience for that, but if you want to continue your friendship with this man, that may be the course you have to take. Also consider that by confiding in you about something he knows you disapprove of and making you complicit, your friends is displaying some pretty blatant disrespect towards you.
I guess I'm going to get bashed for this since I already have my mind made up:
I have a very good "couple friend" that I really am fond of. And what I mean a "couple friend" is that I'm pretty good friends with the man and the woman. I've known my buddy for over ten years so we have that sacred bond. However, about three years ago, he introduced me to his girl, and ever since, I came to admire and respect her. And later on in life, we became friends, too.
Well one day, he decided to have a threesome with TWO OTHER FEMALES. I asked him why did he cheat and he responded, "she doesn't care. As long as I wear a rubber?" So I never questioned it and minded my own business. Then last night, he tells me that he is thinking about breaking up with her. According to him, his girlfriend started caring about his affairs and even went through his phone and lap top-and she was mad. But the main reason why he wants to break up with her is because, "she likes to argue." My concern is that he told me that if he didn't break it off with her, then he would get some side pieces. (meaning he'll have other sexual partners)
Even though I love my buddy, he does not treat his women well. And I am afraid that he's going to string her along and have "Emtpy feelings" for her OR just flat-out cheat on her with multiple women and not even tell her. I have a conflicting dilemma here: Do I tell her what my buddy told me OR just keep a blind eye and ear? I chose the latter because I don't want to get mixed into this drama and possibly lose my buddy. However, if she does get hurt, that blood would be on my hands. And also, if a girl was cheating on me, I would EXPECT a mutual friend to tell me about my woman's affairs; thus, I am acting in hypocrisy. So in essence, by turning the blind eye, I'm avoiding drama but I may lose the girl as a friend and I am also being a hypocrite. However, if I am proactive in my actions and tell her what I know, I am "preventing" such heartache, but lose my buddy in the process as well as sticking my nose in someone else's business. What if he just felt like this for a day or two, and changes his mind?
I didn't read all of these (because I am lazy), but the only reason you would stab your friend in the by ratting him out is because you want his girlfriend. I really don't care what you do...whatever you chose to do think long and hard before you act because it will alter everything.
I didn't read all of these (because I am lazy), but the only reason you would stab your friend in the by ratting him out is because you want his girlfriend. I really don't care what you do...whatever you chose to do think long and hard before you act because it will alter everything.
And no, i don't want his GF. And like i said earlier, im friends with both. If the tables were turned, I would contemplate about telling my buddy about her affairs.
If morally I couldn't abide by my friends' behavior, I'd tell him that and not hang around with him so much.
I would only tell her, if I had designs on her myself (just being honest) and even then I would keep it vague like saying "I just dont get a good feeling about you and him for the long haul."
Even if I didn't tattle-tale, I would distance myself from BOTH of them, because I don't like the drama. When I have hung out with true playas, they recycled/flushed their girls every 2-3 months so it was never a dilemma for long.
I guess I'm going to get bashed for this since I already have my mind made up:
I have a very good "couple friend" that I really am fond of. And what I mean a "couple friend" is that I'm pretty good friends with the man and the woman. I've known my buddy for over ten years so we have that sacred bond. However, about three years ago, he introduced me to his girl, and ever since, I came to admire and respect her. And later on in life, we became friends, too.
Well one day, he decided to have a threesome with TWO OTHER FEMALES. I asked him why did he cheat and he responded, "she doesn't care. As long as I wear a rubber?" So I never questioned it and minded my own business. Then last night, he tells me that he is thinking about breaking up with her. According to him, his girlfriend started caring about his affairs and even went through his phone and lap top-and she was mad. But the main reason why he wants to break up with her is because, "she likes to argue." My concern is that he told me that if he didn't break it off with her, then he would get some side pieces. (meaning he'll have other sexual partners)
Even though I love my buddy, he does not treat his women well. And I am afraid that he's going to string her along and have "Emtpy feelings" for her OR just flat-out cheat on her with multiple women and not even tell her. I have a conflicting dilemma here: Do I tell her what my buddy told me OR just keep a blind eye and ear? I chose the latter because I don't want to get mixed into this drama and possibly lose my buddy. However, if she does get hurt, that blood would be on my hands. And also, if a girl was cheating on me, I would EXPECT a mutual friend to tell me about my woman's affairs; thus, I am acting in hypocrisy. So in essence, by turning the blind eye, I'm avoiding drama but I may lose the girl as a friend and I am also being a hypocrite. However, if I am proactive in my actions and tell her what I know, I am "preventing" such heartache, but lose my buddy in the process as well as sticking my nose in someone else's business. What if he just felt like this for a day or two, and changes his mind?
I don't understand why you are in a tough spot, if you do not want to hear about his sexual exploits outside of his relationship tell him you don't want to hear it and change the subject, hang up the phone, quit sending a text about it or walk away.
The rest of your issue in regards to telling his wife/girlfriend/whomever she is, stay out of the middle of this.
Not your life, not your decision to tell or not and basically none of your business what goes on between them.
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