Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks everyone. Sometimes I just feel bad about hurting people, but I'm learning that's how some people manipulate me and it will not be tolerated.
Exactly! I was going to post the same thing. People can play on your sympathy, or your reluctance to be assertive and strong, and so forth. So just consider this a learning experience.
Exactly! I was going to post the same thing. People can play on your sympathy, or your reluctance to be assertive and strong, and so forth. So just consider this a learning experience.
I honestly used to have issues being assertive and saying no. Just like the OP, my intention is to be nice with others. But I've learned that saying no is sometimes vital to preserve my self respect and avoid becoming another persons slave.
Is he right? I told him I wasn't comfortable and I didn't like his demeanor and he didn't listen, but is he right? Am I horrible person?
NO you're not a horrible person! You TOLD him that he was making you uncomfortable and he didn't stop. So clearly he cares only about himself, not about you, and he once again made it about himself when you stood up for yourself and cut him off. Typical selfish, immature, abusive behavior. What he did is called "blame-shifting" - he made YOU responsible for HIS bad behavior.
For a week and a half I was texting with a former member here and he turned out to be sort of creepy... like really personal creepy. I told him I wasn't comfortable with any of this and he ignored my feelings. Nowadays I have a three strike rule with people: if I tell you three times and you don't listen, you're done. I blocked him. I have a blocking app and the incoming texts get sent to a spam folder. He kept texting me (according to the spam folder), but he finally sent this one text and it rocks me to the core:
Okay, I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore, that's fine but you could have at least been woman enough to say it. I won't bother you anymore. I just can't stand it when people such as yourself lament on how people treat you, but then you treat people just as badly.
Is he right? I told him I wasn't comfortable and I didn't like his demeanor and he didn't listen, but is he right? Am I horrible person?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
No, not horrible. Some people have to be hit over the head. Also, consider that maybe your message ("not comfortable") wasn't quite clear enough. Maybe he needed you to say upfront, "Stop texting me, I don't want to continue this anymore", or some such. Anyway, someone as creepy as you describe typically wouldn't get the message, and would push the envelope. It's not you, it's him. Just be aware that with creeps, you usually have to be firm and crystal clear.
ruth is right, sometimes you just have to hit people over the head to get them to stop doing the things they are doing. dont feel bad at all. always remember that you have to do what is right for you and no one else. if you tell someone you are not comfortable with anything they do or say, they are the ones that need to change or suffer the consequences, not you.
For a week and a half I was texting with a former member here and he turned out to be sort of creepy... like really personal creepy. I told him I wasn't comfortable with any of this and he ignored my feelings. Nowadays I have a three strike rule with people: if I tell you three times and you don't listen, you're done. I blocked him. I have a blocking app and the incoming texts get sent to a spam folder. He kept texting me (according to the spam folder), but he finally sent this one text and it rocks me to the core:
Okay, I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore, that's fine but you could have at least been woman enough to say it. I won't bother you anymore. I just can't stand it when people such as yourself lament on how people treat you, but then you treat people just as badly.
Is he right? I told him I wasn't comfortable and I didn't like his demeanor and he didn't listen, but is he right? Am I horrible person?
what you mean by here? Here on this forums? I don't think I will provide any personal contact numbers to any one just like that. Don't bother what he said. There are some people when they feel miserable they think other should feel the same.
I don't understand what the point of this thread is, really. Your safety wasn't compromised. You dealt with a douchebag from City Data. It happens. Move on. There really was no need to post about it here. You didn't do anything wrong.
Silliness!! I would have laughed to myself and deleted... carrying on doing my thing without him.
That's small potatoes gurl. REALLY small potatoes, not even worth a second thought.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
