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Also things are moving forward with the divorce. I am working on it. Money is tight Once I have all of the money for the legal retainer, my lawyer will draw up a proposal for my husband Once we agree on a settlement, he is moving out.
I completely agree that I need to focus on getting my life together and creating a stable environment for my children. I agree 100%. It's just I was so so unhappy for so long and I was treated terribly. Those 4 months I was talking with Mike so much were the happiest I can remember in awhile. I haven't talked to Mike in 3.5 months because he is giving me space. I am just worried it is over for good not just a temporary break.
Also things are moving forward with the divorce. I am working on it. Money is tight Once I have all of the money for the legal retainer, my lawyer will draw up a proposal for my husband Once we agree on a settlement, he is moving out.
I completely agree that I need to focus on getting my life together and creating a stable environment for my children. I agree 100%. It's just I was so so unhappy for so long and I was treated terribly. Those 4 months I was talking with Mike so much were the happiest I can remember in awhile. I haven't talked to Mike in 3.5 months because he is giving me space. I am just worried it is over for good not just a temporary break.
Again, why is this important right now when you state in the post before this one that you do not want someone to take care of you, your children don't need a second father, you are trying to be independent, etc. etc. ?
It is either important or it isn't and you are contradicting yourself with your own written words.
Also, I am seeing very little about the well being of the children yet constant statements about Mike and what might be lost and how he made you feel and.....
So, exactly what is the most important part of this entire situation?
It appears to be Mike and your romantic interest not your children.
Then why mention Mike in the first place?
Also, why state "they already have a Father they don't need a second one" if he has actually been as terrible as you state?
I would think you would not want them to be any more influenced by his actions than they already have been.
You should leave what happened in college in college and forget about anything but the well being of your children at this point.
The whole point of bringing Mike up is because I am worried that it is not just that we are not talking right now. I am worried we may not ever talk again. I am Worrird I may not get a second chance just as I had hoped. I posted this because I wanted male's perspective on what might be going on with Mike since we are not talking at the moment.
And yes. My children will always have their dad. He was not bad to them like he was to me. The only concern I have is his drinking. My lawyer and I are addressing the drinking and the safety of the kids.
Again, why is this important right now when you state in the post before this one that you do not want someone to take care of you, your children don't need a second father, you are trying to be independent, etc. etc. ?
It is either important or it isn't and you are contradicting yourself with your own written words.
I don't want him to be my next husband or a atep dad to my kids or my financial support. But I do want a relationship with him at some point. After the dust settles. It is important to me now because maybe having a tiny bit of hope that there might be something with Mike later on is something nice to think about when I and dealing with the **** storm that is my life at the moment.
The whole point of bringing Mike up is because I am worried that it is not just that we are not talking right now. I am worried we may not ever talk again. I am Worrird I may not get a second chance just as I had hoped. I posted this because I wanted male's perspective on what might be going on with Mike since we are not talking at the moment.
And yes. My children will always have their dad. He was not bad to them like he was to me. The only concern I have is his drinking. My lawyer and I are addressing the drinking and the safety of the kids.
You did not answer my specific question however, your words have shown what exactly is most important.
By the way, I am not male so this is purely my perspective on what you have written.
I believe it is beyond the time for me to step out of this circular conversation.
OP, focus on your getting your divorce finalized and helping your kids through this very traumatic and disruptive time instead of worrying about "losing" Mike.
I think there is something that you also might want to consider with the old/new man. You had a friendship years ago. People change. They gain in maturity, experience; but sometimes they change in bad ways. This guy is a fantasy of lost love. You don't really know him yet. Not only that, but he may have already seen something in you he doesn't like. You're most likely wasting your time.
As a single parent, you'll have your hands full working and taking care of kids, since it will be most just you now. You'll also be responsible for all the upkeep of your home, the car etc. that your husband likely has been doing. With this divorce, your kids are going to require even more attention. Divorce is traumatic for children. You're going to be very busy. If you're really taking care of your kids, you aren't going to have much time for a new lover.
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