Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm so tired of this "casual dating" that leads to non-casual emotions and heartbreak. A wise teacher of mine told me that you let people know what you want from the beginning, but he didn't tell me how. People always want to "see where it goes", that's just BS to me now. Anyone who doesn't tell me they want a serious relationship is just screwing around with me.
I'm so tired of this "casual dating" that leads to non-casual emotions and heartbreak. A wise teacher of mine told me that you let people know what you want from the beginning, but he didn't tell me how. People always want to "see where it goes", that's just BS to me now. Anyone who doesn't tell me they want a serious relationship is just screwing around with me.
As long as you don't let them know that you want a serious relationship not just nightstands they will screwing you as you say. When you start seeing a man just let him know that you are not interested in just for sex you prefer something serious. I don't believe in "see where it goes"
I'm so tired of this "casual dating" that leads to non-casual emotions and heartbreak. A wise teacher of mine told me that you let people know what you want from the beginning, but he didn't tell me how. People always want to "see where it goes", that's just BS to me now. Anyone who doesn't tell me they want a serious relationship is just screwing around with me.
I could never do casual dating or casual sex. When I my future husband and I were getting to know each other, I let him know that I was a one man woman and that casual dating is not for me. That is how I am.
As for the bolded part in pink...
I wish that everyone would follow this sound advice. My husband had a female friend who became friends with him with the intent to pursue more, with their "friendship" being the vehicle to do so. But she never told him this. He only wanted to be her friend, and he let her know this. She wanted much more than friendship. He found this out through a male friend of his. He was dating her the entire time she was pursuing him. We were in a serious relationship at that time. For several reasons she is no longer his friend.
I'm so tired of this "casual dating" that leads to non-casual emotions and heartbreak.
You kind of just admitted that you sleep around a lot... Just pointing that out not trying to offend you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly
A wise teacher of mine told me that you let people know what you want from the beginning, but he didn't tell me how.
That's good advice, but not for relationships. In fact that's terrible advice for relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly
People always want to "see where it goes", that's just BS to me now. Anyone who doesn't tell me they want a serious relationship is just screwing around with me.
Anyone who DOESN'T tell you they want a serious relationship from the beginning most likely has a decent head on their shoulders. Telling a girl that you want to be exclusive from the get go just screams weak and needy. You don't know what you want. When a girl says that, then that simply means she sleeps around a lot and is generally low quality. I can already tell that there is a lot more issues going on than this "heartbreak" simply because of your need to be in a relationship so bad.
I guess I dont understand how you'd know that you want to be serious with someone right away. I take my commitments seriously and dont enter into them lightly.
I understand not wanting casual sex but I think a lot of people get too serious too fast, and date someone exclusively in order to justify having sex with each other. Then a few months or years later they realize that they are not a good match.
Better, in my opinion, to learn about each other first, before it gets that far. It's not a popular stategy but that is what worked for me.
I took the OP's question to mean--how do you tell people you're dating that you're looking for a serious relationship, and LTR, in general, not specifically off the bat with the person you've having a first or second date with. That's a valid question. Not sure why people are misunderstanding the OP? Are you getting these dates from OLD or in real life, OP? If it's OLD, you can word your profile in a way that gets the idea across. And when dating, if the dude starts making moves sooner than you want, you can be upfront with your goals, your stance, and if he bails, you weeded one out. That's how it works.
You shouldn't be fearful of telling someone how you feel or what you want. If htey leave then its for hte best as you would have wound up heartbroken anyway.
That said you can let someone know without freaking them out. I would put it like this...
Look, I like you and we've been having fun together. I don't really do the casual dating / freinds with benefits thing, I prefer being with one person and being in a relationship. I'm not saying I wanna get married or move in toegehr or anything like that but I would like us to be exclusive.
See what they say to that and at that time you guys can discuss what a relationship means to each of you, how often you can fit in seeing each other, etc but at least you can guage ifthey are serious or not and you wont freak them out
I took the OP's question to mean--how do you tell people you're dating that you're looking for a serious relationship, and LTR, in general, not specifically off the bat with the person you've having a first or second date with. That's a valid question. Not sure why people are misunderstanding the OP? Are you getting these dates from OLD or in real life, OP? If it's OLD, you can word your profile in a way that gets the idea across. And when dating, if the dude starts making moves sooner than you want, you can be upfront with your goals, your stance, and if he bails, you weeded one out. That's how it works.
That was my impression as well. For one thing, I would make sure that you have sex on your own terms. I'm not talking about withholding sex for power or any such nonsense - but I mean waiting until you know that no matter what happens, you won't regret sleeping with him. If you can't handle casual sex and casual dating - I would let them know as soon as you think that you are interested in getting to know them better. Telling them before you even know if you are interested in them is pointless, in my opinion.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
