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You may not get married, you may not date, but he will be in your life for at least 18 years. Get used to that fact. It sounds like he is trying to do "right by you" and take care of his soon to be child.
If you try and cut him out of that, he can press you for a right to see his child.
You will have a relationship, whether you like that or not. Get used to him being around.
So it is unrealistic to actually think about 1) whether or not you want to have sex or 2) whether or not it is a good idea to have sex?
Why is it unrealistic to use your brain?
What drives your behavior? Your brain or your hormones?
When I'm in the mood I do get a bit crazy, as does everyone. I don't spend a lot of time talking about sex because I'd rather be doing it. If I'm dating someone and we both want to, then it's a split second decision. Do we want to? Check. Condoms? Check.
I just don't spend a lot of time mulling over the details of sex. For me it's about what feels right in the moment. Honestly.
When I'm in the mood I do get a bit crazy, as does everyone. I don't spend a lot of time talking about sex because I'd rather be doing it. If I'm dating someone and we both want to, then it's a split second decision. Do we want to? Check. Condoms? Check.
I just don't spend a lot of time mulling over the details of sex. For me it's about what feels right in the moment. Honestly.
Kiss that shyt goodbye when the bun is done cooking.....
That's true. But you're talking about being traditional, but you're sleeping around, yet you never thought you'd end up pregnant out of wedlock? I find that unrealistic. Some people sure. They sleep around alot, and are lucky to have no unwanted pregnancies. But the risk is still obvious and there, particularly when using only condoms alone. That's what alot of HS kids do, and we have all these teen pregnancies.
Nobody is saying marry him off that bat. That is a bad idea. But date and hang out with him, and give him a chance. If you date for a bit, and still feel it's not there, tell him calmly "I enjoy spending time with you, but I am just not feeling us, romantically, but i'd like to remain on good terms and co parent our son." Then it's on him.
But you're dismissing him after 1 or 2 dates, and sex. Get to know him. Falling in love, and even getting to know and trust someone takes time-definitely longer than 2 sex sessions. Seems you went in thinking it was casual, and now, you're determined to keep it there, despite his efforts, and counting him out before even really starting.
Not all couples like all the same stuff.
I feel like I'm responsible. Have I been reckless before? Yes but not normally. I don't sleep around, I have my dates use condoms and I get tested. No, never expected a pregnancy. I had never had any scares. I was surprised as condoms have a high prevention rate.
I'm not SUPER traditional but I did want a family in a certain order. But what's done is done.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatamievendoing
When I'm in the mood I do get a bit crazy, as does everyone. I don't spend a lot of time talking about sex because I'd rather be doing it. If I'm dating someone and we both want to, then it's a split second decision. Do we want to? Check. Condoms? Check.
I just don't spend a lot of time mulling over the details of sex. For me it's about what feels right in the moment. Honestly.
Then why dont you feel the right thing to do is to marry the guy? The baby will be born legitimate, and you might be able to stay home with for a bit before you divorce him and return to work.
He isnt getting out of supporting the kid, and you arent getting out of seeing him for the next 18 to 22 years, at least.
You say you are sexual and the guy was good in that way...I dont understand the issue.
Then why dont you feel the right thing to do is to marry the guy? The baby will be born legitimate, and you might be able to stay home with for a bit before you divorce him and return to work.
He isnt getting out of supporting the kid, and you arent getting out of seeing him for the next 18 to 22 years, at least.
You say you are sexual and the guy was good in that way...I dont understand the issue.
?? You think great sex is all a relationship needs?? Yes it's good but it's not everything.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,295 times
Reputation: 3814
Meh, it's probably good for him to wait before marrying you. Get that paternity test done, so he knows for a fact its his. Cheer up! You might just end up off the hook for a relationship with him afterall.
Meh, it's probably good for him to wait before marrying you. Get that paternity test done, so he knows for a fact its his. Cheer up! You might just end up off the hook for a relationship with him afterall.
It's his. I said he was free to request a dna test. I have been truthful. He's the only man I was with around that time.
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