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I originally posted in July under Rural & Small Town Living, but feel this may be a better category to vent. I moved to a town of 7,500 in the middle of Wyoming last year with my boyfriend. We are both from Las Vegas. Long story short, I hate it here. I grew up in Vegas. My family is there, who I miss like crazy. I miss being with my niece (she is 7) and watching her grow. I've only got to go home twice in a year because of work, and the heavy winter. I am 43 & have no kids of my own. I was formally engaged to a long time boyfriend, but that ended 10 years ago. I mourned for years, and thought I would never find love again. I do see my current boyfriend as someone I could marry. He said when we were in Vegas he didn't think twice about marrying me. We come here and I have become a miserable person. I hate the cold and snow, I have no friends. It is very boring here. I went to school to become a lab tech and I loved it. I worked 1 year in Kingman, Az and hesitated to leave. Now I'm stuck in an office making less money because there hasn't been an opening in the lab. There finally is one, but I turned it down because I decided to move back. He won't. I told him the other day I secured my old job in Kingman again, have been talking to my real estate agent there to rent my old condo, and gave notice at my current job. He is a service advisor at a car dealership here and actually made a call down to Kingman, but decided to stay here. He loves it here, makes good money, and doesn't want to go back to Vegas. It's technically Kingman, but it's still close. Everyone has told him he would be stupid to give up a good job. He has lived here twice before and worked there twice before. He has grown up and wants to build a future here. He is afraid if he gets a job in Kingman and it doesn't pan out, he won't get to come back here. We are 13 days from having to tell the landlord whether we are moving out or not. We haven't had sex since June, and he confessed it's because he is trying to distance himself from me emotionally to ease the pain of me leaving. Now that it's getting closer, I'm having second thoughts. It's not like I'm trying to be unhappy on purpose. I can possibly get in the lab here still because they can't find anyone permanent so they have temporary travelers. I am seriously so stressed I can't wait to go to sleep each night so I don't have to deal with the pain. I love him so much and don't want to live without him, but I'm sooooo unhappy here and away from everything else I love! Need some major advice! Thanks in advance!
Oh and I forgot to add my mother is going to be 73 in December. His mom is in her 50's (he's 9 years younger, I look young ), and isn't particularly close. My mom and I are, and I feel like I should live closer to her.
Yeah, even if I signed on for another 6 months, I don't know how that is going to all of a sudden make me happy. I know I could try harder, like maybe get a hobby and get out more. Ugh. I don't know.
It sounds as if he's already made up HIS mind... that you're leaving.
He wants to distance you so it won't be as hard on him when you leave - he's not making any effort to go with you - instead he's just waiting for you to go. He'll apparently use the 'she left me' excuse - and you'll be the 'bad guy'... please.
He's apparently not as into you as you are into him, and that's tough... You can't really measure love, but I'm betting your 'cup' would be fuller than his (your love for him is more than his love for you)
Make yourself happy - period. We don't know what tomorrow brings us - but if it's the same as today - and we don't like today - we should change the venue.
I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through this but it may be a sign. Imagine if you were married and you needed to move back to NV and he didn't want to go - then where's the balance there? There wouldn't be any... and that's really too bad.
I'll pray for you in hopes that your moving back is what you think is the best thing you could have done.
I'm sure that 7 year old niece and your mom - among lots and lots of others - will be happy to have you home....
I would definitely leave if I were you. It's probably a lot more painful now because you are still physically in the same place. I'm sure you will feel better once you move out.
If you want to be married, he doesn't (you said it didn't cross him mind); you are miserable where you are; he won't make concessions to help you to stay or even try to convince you to stay; you have things lined up for when you go back home... I say move back home. At least, that's what I would do. Why would you stay when it means ending up in a dead-end relationship, in a dead-end town, with a dead-end career?
I originally posted in July under Rural & Small Town Living, but feel this may be a better category to vent. I moved to a town of 7,500 in the middle of Wyoming last year with my boyfriend. We are both from Las Vegas. Long story short, I hate it here. I grew up in Vegas. My family is there, who I miss like crazy. I miss being with my niece (she is 7) and watching her grow. I've only got to go home twice in a year because of work, and the heavy winter. I am 43 & have no kids of my own. I was formally engaged to a long time boyfriend, but that ended 10 years ago. I mourned for years, and thought I would never find love again. I do see my current boyfriend as someone I could marry. He said when we were in Vegas he didn't think twice about marrying me. We come here and I have become a miserable person. I hate the cold and snow, I have no friends. It is very boring here. I went to school to become a lab tech and I loved it. I worked 1 year in Kingman, Az and hesitated to leave. Now I'm stuck in an office making less money because there hasn't been an opening in the lab. There finally is one, but I turned it down because I decided to move back. He won't. I told him the other day I secured my old job in Kingman again, have been talking to my real estate agent there to rent my old condo, and gave notice at my current job. He is a service advisor at a car dealership here and actually made a call down to Kingman, but decided to stay here. He loves it here, makes good money, and doesn't want to go back to Vegas. It's technically Kingman, but it's still close. Everyone has told him he would be stupid to give up a good job. He has lived here twice before and worked there twice before. He has grown up and wants to build a future here. He is afraid if he gets a job in Kingman and it doesn't pan out, he won't get to come back here. We are 13 days from having to tell the landlord whether we are moving out or not. We haven't had sex since June, and he confessed it's because he is trying to distance himself from me emotionally to ease the pain of me leaving. Now that it's getting closer, I'm having second thoughts. It's not like I'm trying to be unhappy on purpose. I can possibly get in the lab here still because they can't find anyone permanent so they have temporary travelers. I am seriously so stressed I can't wait to go to sleep each night so I don't have to deal with the pain. I love him so much and don't want to live without him, but I'm sooooo unhappy here and away from everything else I love! Need some major advice! Thanks in advance!
Be a all grown up mature woman and make the decision that is best for you, that is the only advice anyone can give you that is going to do you any good.
No one but you can make this decision, it is your life and your choice.
So, go back and read every word you posted in this thread and ask yourself if you want to continue to live like this. Then make your decision and stick with it.
You have to follow your heart, what do you want. Now, I could say, try and be happy where you are, but life is to short for that if its just not where you want to be.
My advice is to clear your head, what do you really want? I'm sure you can find a man wherever you are, or you can find happiness where you live, both choices could be equal, but its truly up to you.
No sex since June, I'd say that its probably over between the two of you, just my opinion.
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), and isn't particularly close. My mom and I are, and I feel like I should live closer to her.
