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I'm a 23 year old female and I'm interested in entering a Taken In Hand relationship. Is anyone here currently in one? I looked on the website and while it had a lot of great information a lot of the postings are old.
If you are in that relationship now how is the dynamic? What are the rules? How did you find a partner? How did you decide on consequences/punishments, if any at all?
Just looking for advice from people who are in one or have been in one.
many of the concepts you are attracted to in this type of relationship are in a global sense, traditional, starting out with the mot fundamental principle that the man is the dominant partner in the relationship, with the woman following his lead. for many believers of organized religions, it has a historical basis to include the origin of existence of life. For example, the Book of Genesis it discusses how God didn't want Adam to be along alone so He created a woman as a companion FOR Adam. God created man first then the woman. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eve
So the concept of men and women being equal in a marriage is a new theory, relatively speaking. And that equal partnership status has changed not only only modern and dating relationships rules, but how man and women see each other and their expectations of one another. And rather than debate the merits of either type of relationship, suffice to say both have "down sides". With respect the the Taken in Hand type of relationship, it no doubt requires a mature principle man who will always love and care for his woman. Otherwise, it becomes "unhealthy" as some have suggested. As far as consenting adults engaging in aggressive yet safe dominant/submissive arrangements, well there is lots to be said about that, but as a starting point of research if you google "do women like rough sex?" or even "can a woman like rough sex and still be a feminist?" the discussion is revealing to say the least.
However, from my perspective, the equal partner model now seems to be evolving into relationships that are more and more transitional (helping someone to get from one point in their life to the next) and transactional (based on what each gains/benefits from the relationship). a more business/capitalistic like arrangement where men and women are seeing each in a more "what he/she brings to the table" situation. relationship seekers essentially assessing each other's social market value (worth for partnership support, family, etc), and for some a subset "sexual market value".
But nevertheless, despite what other may say critical of your OP, there is merit to what you seek because as i've said in another thread:
woman fundamentally do not love a man who they do not respect and if they stay with him it is because he is a good provider or she derives some benefit from him she wants to keep. once the benefit is gone, she is gone. women only love men who they respect. and i am not talking about friendship or companionship love because a good dog can provide that (man's best friend).
many of the concepts you are attracted to in this type of relationship are in a global sense, traditional, starting out with the mot fundamental principle that the man is the dominant partner in the relationship, with the woman following his lead. for many believers of organized religions, it has a historical basis to include the origin of existence of life. For example, the Book of Genesis it discusses how God didn't want Adam to be along alone so He created a woman as a companion FOR Adam. God created man first then the woman. Eve - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia .
I won't redundantly requote your whole post, but it's apparent you've never really objectively read or studied the bible as it was written or you'd know a heck of a lot more than wikipedia.
I won't redundantly requote your whole post, but it's apparent you've never really objectively read or studied the bible as it was written or you'd know a heck of a lot more than wikipedia.
what, you want me to write a treatise? and "objectively studied the bible", lol any chance the written word speaks to the reader, as in John 1:1? belief and faith and their role in the meaning of life are intangible concepts not readily measured objectively.
Not beatings from what I've read. Just spanking and appropriate violence. But it's not all about that.
There is no such thing as "appropriate violence" in a healthy loving relationship.
And in general, the only "appropriate violence" that can be justified is when some predator is hurting an innocent person and someone steps in to beat the crap out of him to save the one being hurt.
You need to grow up girl and learn how to adopt a more emotionally healthy outlook on love and relationships.
There is no such thing as "appropriate violence" in a healthy loving relationship.
And in general, the only "appropriate violence" that can be justified is when some predator is hurting an innocent person and someone steps in to beat the crap out of him to save the one being hurt.
You need to grow up girl and learn how to adopt a more emotionally healthy outlook on love and relationships.
I do. I'm just interested in entering that type of relationship. Boundaries, rules, and consequences sound healthy to me.
There is no such thing as "appropriate violence" in a healthy loving relationship.
There is if it matches the consent and desires of the people IN that relationship. No more is required. You are using the boundaries of what you yourself want from a relationship and applying it to relationships as a whole.
What the OP describes is not for you. Nor is it for me and my partners. But that does not mean such a relationship is not healthy and loving like any other.
So do you feel people who engage in BDSM somehow love each other less than those that do not, in some way?
If not - where DOES the line between consensual violence and unhealthy violence ACTUALLY get drawn?
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