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You're suffering from "self-destructive Darwinism" or SDD.
Unfortunately the evolutionary tree sometimes creates dead branches which later fall off for the greater good and health of the tree. No one knows exactly why these branches were created in the first place but Mother Nature, Evolution, or a higher power we'll call Jesus decides to self-destruct what has been made.
Just realize it is not your decision but a higher power creating a chemically imbalance your brain thwarting off reproduction.
Who cares if someone is out of your league. Go out and try, if you strikeout so be it. Everyone has different tastes just because someone is gorgeous herself doesn't means he doesn't go for overweight bald guys who live with their parents... lol remmeber that episode of seinfeld.
Anyhow, point being not all women like a cut guy with a 6 pack, some women like more of a teddy bear, some women like a nerdy guy, etc. I think people have this expectation that a hot womne with a nice body only goes for some musclebound football player and the fact is thats jus tnot true.
My dad always told me not to worry about things out of my control. That includes people and their feelings. It really is not that serious. At all.Just do what it is you feel you do best in life, and live for yourself. Too many folks try to please people these days. You happen to come across some you like make a move and see where it goes. If it goes south, it's fine. If it's reciprocated that's good too.
My dad always told me not to worry about things out of my control. That includes people and their feelings. It really is not that serious. At all.Just do what it is you feel you do best in life, and live for yourself. Too many folks try to please people these days. You happen to come across some you like make a move and see where it goes. If goes south, it's fine. If it's reciprocated that's good too.
Have you considered counseling? It is the fastest, most effective way for a mentally healthy person like yourself to alter their thinking, and their happiness level.
I tend to agree with this. The other suggestions are good, but if there are residual issues from childhood that related to your confidence (i.e. parents or the kids in school always put you down), then counseling can save you (and the people you interact with) a lot of time and heartache.
I tend to agree with this. The other suggestions are good, but if there are residual issues from childhood that related to your confidence (i.e. parents or the kids in school always put you down), then counseling can save you (and the people you interact with) a lot of time and heartache.
Seems like a big "if" to me. Assuming what the OP states is accurate (I remind you he also started the "should unemployed men be prohibited from dating" thread), his lack of confidence with women as an adult most likely resulted from being rejected a lot by women as an adult.
If a guy can't date because he thinks all women are out of his league, what should he do? I've tried getting in shape but that didn't make a difference at all.
Do you see the contradiction in the bolded parts? It's like saying "I broke my leg, so I went to the dentist for a teeth cleaning".
Your thoughts are the problem, and you're trying to fix your situation by going to a gym?
I know that counseling and therapy are often suggested here and many take offence to that. Honestly, the people who are posting things like this on the internet very likely need to speak to a professional, yet take the easy way out and post to random, non-professionals on messageboards. Short of telling you to get help to change your thinking, there is not much else we can do for you here.
Do you see the contradiction in the bolded parts? It's like saying "I broke my leg, so I went to the dentist for a teeth cleaning".
Your thoughts are the problem, and you're trying to fix your situation by going to a gym?
I know that counseling and therapy are often suggested here and many take offence to that. Honestly, the people who are posting things like this on the internet very likely need to speak to a professional, yet take the easy way out and post to random, non-professionals on messageboards. Short of telling you to get help to change your thinking, there is not much else we can do for you here.
People from all walks of life have romantic relationships. Ugly people, fat people, smart people, dumb people, beautiful people, jerks, a**holes, poor people, rich people, average people. You name it. Regardless of where you fall on that spectrum, the point is you fall on the spectrum. Your mentality should be, "if they can do it, so can I".
You need to get outside your head and stop trampling your self-worth. Secondly, you need to start forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations so that you can build up your self-confidence. Although there's no guarantee that you'll work yourself up to Rico Suave status, you should at least see some improvement in terms of your ability to socialize (particularly with those of the opposite sex).
Re-read the OP and tell me how it is possible his thinking isn't wrong.
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