I am 20 and want to stay child free. (love, friends, social)
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1. But you are telling me what I should and should not post. You said I was stupid for saying something. You said you would have said something, which means you would have voiced your opinion. So how come it is okay to some to speak up and I cannot?
2. I am tired of family and friends making comments to me like: Oh you will change your mind about having kids, one day when you have kids..., etc etc. So my post was directed at them letting them know Motherhood just is not for me guys, I want to spend my life traveling/writing/etc.
1. Wrong. You asked a question which is being answered. Why so defensive? Oh, right, you're 20.
2. Maybe your comments around family and friends are similar to those you posted on FB. When you open a door, expect someone to come in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizaTeal
Please keep in mind a broken apostrophe key will not prevent you from having children.
A day brightener!
OP, I'm old enough to be your great grandmother and do not have children. I've led an incredibly full life, have lived in many different areas on two continents before ending up on a little Caribbean island. I honestly can only remember a couple of occasions over many decades when someone has even questioned my childless state and even then it was just in a passing, "do you have any children?" comment, the reply to which of a simple, "no" passed without any further comment. There again I never made a big production out of it nor brought it up as a topic of conversation.
No point getting all defensive and then going so far as to block people when you opened the door in the first place.
When I was younger I never pictured myself having kids. I am 20 and I still have no desire to have children. Please note my apostrophe key is broken.
My facebook timeline is overrun with people from my high school (not my friends, but until today I put up with them) announcing they are pregnant, posting baby pictures, ultra sound pictures, basically just a bunch of annoying baby updates about something so hilarious their 1 year old child did.
Anyways, these young mothers havent given me any trouble until I posted this as my status today:
I never want to have children. There are so many things I would like to do in my life. I want to travel the world, get one of my books published, maybe even become a famous author lol.
I honestly didnt think I sounded disrespectful towards the mothers I mentioned before. It was not a status directed at them, just something I have had on my mind for a while and since I was bored I posted it, thinking it would get a couple likes, maybe even some harmless chit chat before being buried under newer posts.
That was not the case. Here are some of the gems posted by the mothers/ school associates on my page(not exact words, but almost) :
-You are really missing out, Omatic. I couldnt imagine life without my (insert kid name here). He is my world.
-Why? That sounds boring.....
-That is sad to hear, Omatic. What a joyless life you will live. (from an older relative)
-Wow way to bash teen mothers Omatic. I wasnt planning on having (kids name here) but Im glad I did. Being a teen mother was the best thing that ever happened to me. As I teen mom I work super hard to give my kids everything they want, you sound jealous, blah blah blah (what? just what the heck? where did that come from? but yeah, super jealous of an 18 year old mom )
I deleted my post and ended up deleting and then blocking about 6 people.
EFF OFF. I am child free, I want to stay child free. There are things I want to experience in life and I do not want to participate in the baby game. Changing dirty diapers and packing school lunches? No thanks, I will pass.
I thought society would be more accepting of different lifestyles, you know, it being almost 2015 and all. But I made that status and was almost instantly being put down and harassed for not wanting to be a mother. Has anyone else here been pressured or harassed for choosing a child free life? I would like to hear other peoples experiences because no one seems to support my choice, not even family. I try not to let them bother me, but sometimes they do.
You caught me. There was a time (a very short time) in my life where I believed I would have children one day, because I thought it was expected of me. I quickly wised up. I can't even stand being around other peoples kids, no way I'd have my own. In a way, society kinda brainwashes you to believe you want children because every one else is. Its sickening really.
Seriously most here are pretty immature. You are no better than the people I mentioned in my original post. I wanted this to be a thread of child free talk and everyone just jumps on the name calling bandwagon.
So let me make sure I understand.
Parents bragging about and celebrating life with children = parents just being parents.
People celebrating life without children = provoking, drama queens , asking for it.
1. There was a time (a very short time) in my life where I believed I would have children one day, because I thought it was expected of me. I quickly wised up.
2. Seriously most here are pretty immature.
3. A bunch of hypocrites I see.
1. Sorry, but you really are pretty funny. All of 20 years old and between the ages of 19 and 20 you have an amazing epiphany and make a lifetime decision when you've barely lived yet.
2. Not most but really just one, the author of this entertaining thread.
3. A surefire way to win friends and influence people is to negatively label them solely because you disagree with them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,029,445 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omatic
Busted? I wasn't aware this was CSI.
You caught me. There was a time (a very short time) in my life where I believed I would have children one day, because I thought it was expected of me. I quickly wised up. I can't even stand being around other peoples kids, no way I'd have my own. In a way, society kinda brainwashes you to believe you want children because every one else is. Its sickening really.
Seriously most here are pretty immature. You are no better than the people I mentioned in my original post. I wanted this to be a thread of child free talk and everyone just jumps on the name calling bandwagon.
So let me make sure I understand.
Parents bragging about and celebrating life with children = parents just being parents.
People celebrating life without children = provoking, drama queens , asking for it.
A bunch of hypocrites I see.
Maybe it does to you. This can happen to weak minded people.
And this isn't a parenting or children forum, if you wanted that, maybe you should post there?
And I'm not sure you know what hypocrites are, because what you posted isn't an example of hypocrisy. Not really.
Oh, and if you want people to interact with you decently, you might not start threads based on lies.
It is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to not have kids. People should ONLY have kids if they mutually have the desire to become parents.
It is not selfish to be child-free. Don't let anyone tell you that. It's none of their business anyway.
I had a vasectomy at age 28, almost 40 years ago, and it's been one of the best decisions my wife and I ever made. We are still happily married, living in comfort, and not agonizing over kids or grandkids trying to get by in this awful global economy and its lowered expectations for most people.
The vasectomy procedure is no more trouble than a visit to a dentist where novacaine is involved; often done right in the doctor's office, and quickly done. Not a big deal, and was not the least bit painful. Men need to man up, not whine like babies about it.
Having kids because the older generation wants to be grand-parents is absurd, you are the one who has to raise them.
Having kids one cannot afford to raise is a terrible idea.
Having kids then working to pay for child care seems like a dog chasing it's own tail.
IGNORE anything told you by anyone of any religion; all religions are fiction and are NO basis for how to live your life. We have all the morals and ethics we need without claiming they're derived from some so-called un-assailable invisible all-knowing grand poobah.
YOU are the only person who has to approve your personal reproductive choices.
USE birth control until you are sure which choice is your choice. If you want kids, have them, if not, get fixed or keep using birth control.
No apologies are needed. Ever. To anyone. Don't take guff from anyone. Be polite but firm. Don't argue with idiots, walk away.
We are more than happy with our choice. We have no regrets. None. Nada. Zip.
I have high respect for those who do have kids AND do a great job at parenting.
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And this isn't a parenting or children forum, if you wanted that, maybe you should post there?
It's better suited to the Non-Romantic Relationship forum.
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A day brightener!
