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No, do NOT listen to this poster I am quoting. OP, if you want to have a successful relationship then you need to realize that the other person's thoughts and feelings DO matter and that it is not all about you and getting your rocks off. That is why mostly everyone is trying to steer you down the path of being a decent person and being honest about your intentions of not wanting monogamy or cheating on your partner. It's called empathy and its something that selfish, anti-social jackasses wouldn't know a thing about.
What you--and everyone else that argues this--doesn't seem to understand is that my argument DOES take the other person into account. What you're proposing doesn't, IMO, work out very often. If it does, then why doesn't anyone here put their money where their mouth is and say they'd be okay with it??
And empathy works both ways. It's not showing empathy for the OP to tell him to do something which will effectively be a nonstarter.
What you--and everyone else that argues this--doesn't seem to understand is that my argument DOES take the other person into account. What you're proposing doesn't, IMO, work out very often. If it does, then why doesn't anyone here put their money where their mouth is and say they'd be okay with it??
And empathy works both ways. It's not showing empathy for the OP to tell him to do something which will effectively be a nonstarter.
Nope, sorry man, you don't. Your suggestion is 100% selfish. If the OP tries to go for an open marriage, at least it is a level playing ground. What you suggest tilts to one side completely, and creates horrible dishonesty in a marriage. If he wants to dabble outside of marriage, then he either mans up and discusses with his wife or take the chance of cheating, getting caught and paying for it.
Nope, sorry man, you don't. Your suggestion is 100% selfish. If the OP tries to go for an open marriage, at least it is a level playing ground. What you suggest tilts to one side completely
If you think that, you're not acknowledging human nature. It doesn't "tilt to one side" at all--there's nothing preventing the other person from doing the same thing.
I strongly disagree with this. I think the best solution by far is just to "cheat" discreetly and practice safe sex when you do so. Wanting variety is a natural thing, it's not fair to ask someone who wants to get married or have a relationship to not do so because of it. And as far as finding "open relationships"--well, finding someone who would accept that would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Periodically, people on this board are asked if they would be open to such a thing--and generally not a single one says yes.
Not only that, but I think that when such relationships do occur, they usually don't work because of jealousy. In addition, the old saying "Better to ask forgiveness than to seek permission" applies here. Far more people will be able to accept a partner who occasionally sees others on the side if they find out about it after they're already with you than would agree to it at the beginning.
OP, don't listen to the other posters on here. Asking them to accept what you're describing is like a gay person 50 years ago asking straight people if being gay is acceptable.
How's about your old lady getting the back 40 pounded properly by some guy.... course she's being "discreet" and all you wouldn't have to worry, cause you wouldn't know.
Surely you wouldn't mind, right?? This assumes that you of course didn't have an open relationship.
Whew... people continually never fail to let ya down.....
How's about your old lady getting the back 40 pounded properly by some guy.... course she's being "discreet" and all you wouldn't have to worry, cause you wouldn't know.
Surely you wouldn't mind, right?? This assumes that you of course didn't have an open relationship.
Whew... people continually never fail to let ya down.....
I certainly wouldn't have the right to condemn her. If people "mind" what each other do, they can always divorce or break up.
I certainly wouldn't have the right to condemn her. If people "mind" what each other do, they can always divorce or break up.
How can they mind when they don't know because one person is lying?
Once again, nobody is buying what you are selling. I hope you are at least upfront with all your partners and tell them that you will cheat on them and you will lie about it so that they don't know.
Once again, nobody is buying what you are selling.
Nobody (well, few people) would have "bought" that gay marriage was a good idea fifty years ago. The popularity of an idea is not a good indicator of whether it has validity or not.
What is sounds like is normal human behavior. If you think this is "sociopathic" you yourself have a lot of growing up to do.
Tell yourself what ever it takes to get through those lonely nights.....
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