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Been seeing a girl off of Tinder for a few weeks now. Been out to dinner a few times, banged several times, really sweet girl but we're just not compatible after getting to know each other. Since I'm not interested in starting a real relationship with her I'm going to cut it off.
I feel at this point she deserves more than me disappearing or a simple text dump. I wrote up a short letter, about a page, telling her she is wonderful but that we can't continue (why we're not compatible and that I don't want to waste her time any further). Would this be appropriate for a private Facebook message? I don't want to be an ******* but at the same time it's kind of a gray area, not really dumping, just discontinuing dating.
Probably over thinking this. Might just be a wimp. Never had to dump before. We're both 30, working professionals if it matters.
Been seeing a girl off of Tinder for a few weeks now. Been out to dinner a few times, banged several times, really sweet girl but we're just not compatible after getting to know each other. Since I'm not interested in starting a real relationship with her I'm going to cut it off.
I feel at this point she deserves more than me disappearing or a simple text dump. I wrote up a short letter, about a page, telling her she is wonderful but that we can't continue (why we're not compatible and that I don't want to waste her time any further). Would this be appropriate for a private Facebook message? I don't want to be an ******* but at the same time it's kind of a gray area, not really dumping, just discontinuing dating.
Probably over thinking this. Might just be a wimp. Never had to dump before. We're both 30, working professionals if it matters.
Thanks in advance.
Just call her and tell her how you feel. Don't send a FB message. Don't text it. Call her.
have the guts to break up with her IN PERSON. no calls, no texts, no letters, no emails, no FB or other social media postings. step up in person. meet her for lunch somewhere nice, and then tell her straight up taht she is a wonderful lady, but that she deserves someone better than you.
have the guts to break up with her IN PERSON. no calls, no texts, no letters, no emails, no FB or other social media postings. step up in person. meet her for lunch somewhere nice, and then tell her straight up taht she is a wonderful lady, but that she deserves someone better than you.
My only concern with "in person" is how that other person might react. If they don't handle rejection very well, OP might not be putting himself in an ideal position by being right across from her when he breaks the news. That's why I say do something like this over the phone. If you're married or have been in a relationship for several months/years, then by all means, do it in person. But it doesn't sound like that describes this particular relationship.
Really mature..."banged a few times"... Anyway, why don't you just call her? I would not go into a list of reasons why you're not compatible. I would just say you're a really great person, but I just don't see a future for us and I wish you the best. That's it. I've always appreciated when someone let me know it wasn't working out rather than just vanishing.
You wrote a page-long letter? In that amount of time you could have given her a call. Although I think that since you've "banged" a number of times and are not exactly kids anymore, she deserves a face-to-face conversation.
My only concern with "in person" is how that other person might react. If they don't handle rejection very well, OP might not be putting himself in an ideal position by being right across from her when he breaks the news. That's why I say do something like this over the phone. If you're married or have been in a relationship for several months/years, then by all means, do it in person. But it doesn't sound like that describes this particular relationship.
This is why you take someone to someplace public... like lunch in a restaurant, etc. People (normal sane people that is) aren't going to make a scene in public.
I too vote for in person especially considering how far things went. It might not have been a long relationship, but they were pretty intimate. If you are really that uncomfortable face-to-face, a phone call. Definitely talk to her though, no messages or letters. That's cold, tacky, and maybe even cowardly if you are messaging out of fear.
Good luck OP and hang in there, I know it sucks having to be the one to end things.
This is why you take someone to someplace public... like lunch in a restaurant, etc. People (normal sane people that is) aren't going to make a scene in public.
I too vote for in person especially considering how far things went. It might not have been a long relationship, but they were pretty intimate. Good luck OP and hang in there, I know it sucks having to be the one to end things.
It's also a convenience/consideration thing. You're going to make them travel to a particular location (waste their time and money) and then make them travel back home, hurt and possibly confused. Not to mention, someone is sure to overhear this conversation if it's in a public venue. That has to be pretty humiliating for both parties.
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