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To answer the question: Lying sucks, no matter the time, place, or situation. And it's better NOT to lie. I can see why your ex-girlfriend did lie. But I can see why it would cause you to react the way you did. We go back to my first sentence: lying sucks. Once someone has betrayed your trust, it's very hard to get back to the "before." In some cases, it's impossible. There are ways to work through it. But you have to be mature and want it to work.
To answer the question: Lying sucks, no matter the time, place, or situation. And it's better NOT to lie. I can see why your ex-girlfriend did lie. But I can see why it would cause you to react the way you did. We go back to my first sentence: lying sucks. Once someone has betrayed your trust, it's very hard to get back to the "before." In some cases, it's impossible. There are ways to work through it. But you have to be mature and want it to work.
If this was the only lie, maybe. Been too many over a variety of topics.
Having sex vs thinking nostalgically about your ex has no difference? Interesting.
Honestly, it doesn't make much different to me. I think many women would find your longing for your ex just as hurtful or more hurtful than sleeping with her.
I do think there's a bit of a double standard going on. It isn't like you told her you were talking to your ex right away, you waited a month to do that. She waited 6 months to tell you about NYC. Neither is ideal.
Do you not understand why she felt she had to lie about NYC? You said yourself that, if you had known at the time, you wouldn't have gotten involved with her. So, basically, she was in a no win situation. She didn't really have you because you weren't exclusive, but she knew you well enough to know that you wouldn't want her ever if you knew she was with someone else. How is that fair?
Sure, she may have gone too far in fabricating a story, but it seems like if she wanted a chance with you at all she really had no choice because you would have left if she had been honest right away. Also, you were not honest with her immediately, anyway, so she probably figured it wasn't that big of a deal.
Honestly, it doesn't make much different to me. I think many women would find your longing for your ex just as hurtful or more hurtful than sleeping with her.
I do think there's a bit of a double standard going on. It isn't like you told her you were talking to your ex right away, you waited a month to do that. She waited 6 months to tell you about NYC. Neither is ideal.
Do you not understand why she felt she had to lie about NYC? You said yourself that, if you had known at the time, you wouldn't have gotten involved with her. So, basically, she was in a no win situation. She didn't really have you because you weren't exclusive, but she knew you well enough to know that you wouldn't want her ever if you knew she was with someone else. How is that fair?
Sure, she may have gone too far in fabricating a story, but it seems like if she wanted a chance with you at all she really had no choice because you would have left if she had been honest right away. Also, you were not honest with her immediately, anyway, so she probably figured it wasn't that big of a deal.
Sure. I see that side.
However I looked her in the face multiple times and said if you lie again I have to leave, please be honest so we can start fresh.
Then I finally made good on my threat, probably 30 lies later
However I looked her in the face multiple times and said if you lie again I have to leave, please be honest so we can start fresh.
Then I finally made good on my threat, probably 30 lies later
So, it sounds like she lied all the time. Obviously, not a good person to be involved with.
I guess, in my experience, a lot of fibs are told in that "non-exclusive" period of a relationship. It's like one or both people are seeing other people and it's just not something you really talk about because it's unnecessarily hurtful. Once you're with someone, who really cares what they were doing before you were exclusive?
Lying all the time isn't good though. I wouldn't want to be with a liar but I'm much more forgiving about things that happened before I was exclusively with someone.
To get angry enough at the ex and perhaps the entire female gender to finally get over deep feelings still held for the ex.
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