Pre exclusive Lies (single, romantic, honest, settling)
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LOL, hate to break it to you, but since it happened before you became exclusive, means it's a non foul. Just because you came clean about trying to get back together with your ex, doesn't mean Shat! You waited until after you started hooking up with her to tell her. IMO< that is shady as F, and to tell you the truth. Now if you were upfront before you hooked up it's another thing.
Grow up, who GAF if the girl slept with someone else, before you were exclusive. This is an old relationship anyway, it's the past, stop worrying about that. The only reason you are even concerned is because you have some weird fear of getting hurt, and you are justifying the pain you felt. Suck it up, and be a man, and just accept the fact, there is no fault, just go and get a fresh girlfriend....
Btw why do you even care? She is an ex girlfriend, she "cheated" on you, move on....allowing her to own you, is a real weakness.
So you told hookup girl from the get go that you were still talking to ex? I thought you said that you waited a month of hooking up before you told her that you were still talking to ex and then dumped her for 4 weeks.
She was probably heart broken. Then you come back because the ex didn't want you... girl #2 probably wanted to hedge her bets and not let her feelings get carried away because you have already shown her that you can drop her like a hot potato just like that.
So she kept her options open and that led to hookup in New York. She probably needlessly lied because she is not as bold as you to just admit, "yeah I'm sexing you but this weekend I'm going to meet up with a potential" That potential became a hook up while in NY.
Then when she gets back you decide that NOW you want to be exclusive.... which I bet she wanted ALL ALONG... you think she is going to derail what she wanted and most likely nursed a broken heart about while you where "exploring your feelings with ex"? No, she shut her mouth and hope that all that drama THAT BOTH OF YOU were doing was behind you and you could have your "happily ever after".
you dodged a bullet, but she did too. I hope she finds someone who doesn't discard her like yesterdays newspaper and treat her (and her feelings) like some sort of fall back and then have these expectations of loyalty and truth.... like you had some sort of commitment.
And why would you have lost interest? It's okay for you to dally with an ex, but it's not okay for her to look around for other people when you said yourself you were not exclusive? Just what do you think "not exclusive" means? Hint: It means other people are allowed.
You're angry that she went on with her life and met someone else while you were busy trying to get with your ex and you're angry that she got laid when you two weren't exclusive, instead of sitting home waiting and pining away for you. It's all ego.
BTW, if the brother colluded with her, that's a pretty good sign he doesn't like you. Can't imagine why.
The level of aggression towards a guy who dared break up with a girl for lying is nothing new, but it's always good to refresh my mind of the female mindset.
However I looked her in the face multiple times and said if you lie again I have to leave, please be honest so we can start fresh.
Then I finally made good on my threat, probably 30 lies later
it sounds like she was honest... and you left... not "start fresh". How did she know that after multiple times of you promising that if she came clean you would leave her and "not start fresh"? Because it didn't matter if she came clean the first time, or the 100th time, the result would have been the same. you would have left her. The deal breaker was when she hooked with the guy in NY. If she told you immediately you would have left.... if she told you when becoming exclusively, you would have left.
The only way she was to win this situation is to pine away while you went chasing after your ex after banging her for a month.
I feel sorry that she fell for you. You were getting into a sexual relationship while lovesick for ex. Then you dumped her for a month while pursuing ex. Then you dip back into her life leaving her unsure of your intentions, then when you decide you want to be exclusive you judge her behavior RETROACTIVELY...
To get angry enough at the ex and perhaps the entire female gender to finally get over deep feelings still held for the ex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
Nailed it
LOL!!! that means OP that this poster is saying the only reason you are making this thread is so you can whip up ill will toward your ex and all females so that you can finally get over your ex. This is a dig at YOU.
it sounds like she was honest... and you left... not "start fresh". How did she know that after multiple times of you promising that if she came clean you would leave her and "not start fresh"? Because it didn't matter if she came clean the first time, or the 100th time, the result would have been the same. you would have left her. The deal breaker was when she hooked with the guy in NY. If she told you immediately you would have left.... if she told you when becoming exclusively, you would have left.
The only way she was to win this situation is to pine away while you went chasing after your ex after banging her for a month.
I feel sorry that she fell for you. You were getting into a sexual relationship while lovesick for ex. Then you dumped her for a month while pursuing ex. Then you dip back into her life leaving her unsure of your intentions, then when you decide you want to be exclusive you judge her behavior RETROACTIVELY...
Thank you for telling me what I would have done.
You obviously didn't read the whole thread.
She did admit to having sex in New York and at a music festival. I didn't leave.
I left because of the level of deceit she went to just to make the situation seem better. That and she lied about a number of other insignificant things.
A number of you have tried to reframe this as me butthurt over her hooking up. It's admirable and a solid internet debate tactic. But I've stayed on point. The issue for me is the pathological level of lying.
LOL!!! that means OP that this poster is saying the only reason you are making this thread is so you can whip up ill will toward your ex and all females so that you can finally get over your ex. This is a dig at YOU.
Your reading and comprehension is poor. "Nailed it" was sarcasm.
Why are you so aggressive? Seriously, what gets you women so riled up about a guy daring to leave a woman for bad behavior. It's comical.
However I looked her in the face multiple times and said if you lie again I have to leave, please be honest so we can start fresh.
Then I finally made good on my threat, probably 30 lies later
So you deliberately stayed with someone you knew was lying to you, and you made idle threats the first 29 times.
This, after saying in your first post on this thread that if she had told you when you first got back together, you would have lost interest.
I can't decide if she was brilliant for just riding you out or an idiot for eventually telling you the truth. Regardless, the phrase "we teach people how to treat us" applies here. If you suspected her of lying, you should have left long ago. It's like you only stayed with her out of some kind of power struggle. "Must...make...her...tell me...even though...she's not...obligated..."
Who has time for that crap? Really. And now you're going to waste more of your life trying to convince a whole bunch of people on a message board who are all in agreement that we're all wrong and you're just being misunderstood. I hope other people who come along learn from this.
May I suggest playing Battlefield or Call of Duty or something? It would be a lot more productive.
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