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I asked her what the expletive she was doing texting this guy at 1 in the morning... I didnt accuse of her cheating, but I did mention it was sneaky. why at 1 in the morning? why when we were fighting in the car? What do you care why he didnt come back? Then as always, she spinned into me being crazy and tried to focus the situation on how I reacted as opposed to situation at hand. We really didnt talk for the rest of the day yesterday, and today either.
So you made it worse by cursing at her and yes, accusing. Whether or not she was being sneaky, "sneaky" is a judgment term. It made her defensive, and no real discussion was going to happen after that.
If you want to have a productive discussion, sit down with her and stay calm. No profanity, no accusations.
TELL her YOUR feelings, that you are confused and hurt and not happy with the way things went down, and ask her to tell you if something is up. Don't let her get out of answering the questions by talking about your reaction. You are going to be calm anyway, so if she does that, she really will be deflecting.
Ask her outright if she has been talking to dude. Be prepared for whatever answers she may come up with. Then you two will have to decide what happens next.
So you made it worse by cursing at her and yes, accusing. Whether or not she was being sneaky, "sneaky" is a judgment term. It made her defensive, and no real discussion was going to happen after that.
If you want to have a productive discussion, sit down with her and stay calm. No profanity, no accusations.
TELL her YOUR feelings, that you are confused and hurt and not happy with the way things went down, and ask her to tell you if something is up. Don't let her get out of answering the questions by talking about your reaction. You are going to be calm anyway, so if she does that, she really will be deflecting.
Ask her outright if she has been talking to dude. Be prepared for whatever answers she may come up with. Then you two will have to decide what happens next.
Yeah, the reaction you got was caused by the way you asked the question. Apologize for being so rude and then do as explained above. Starting with an apology is a darn good way to break the silence, and you really do need to apologize. You were rude and assumed the worst of someone you're supposed to love.
Yeah, the reaction you got was caused by the way you asked the question. Apologize for being so rude and then do as explained above. Starting with an apology is a darn good way to break the silence, and you really do need to apologize. You were rude and assumed the worst of someone you're supposed to love.
yea, I'm not as concerned about the reaction as I'm with why it happened to begin with. your right Davros- this is all my fault. good job.
yea, I'm not as concerned about the reaction as I'm with why it happened to begin with. your right Davros- this is all my fault. good job.
Okay. Go ahead and proceed with getting divorced. See if I care?
You overreacted.
You should have asked your questions in a less confrontational and angry manner, and maybe then you wouldn't be on here asking what to do, because she could have explained the situation instead of reacting to you angrily and defensively.
You should apologize and then proceed as Womens4life suggested.
Okay. Go ahead and proceed with getting divorced. See if I care?
You overreacted.
You should have asked your questions in a less confrontational and angry manner, and maybe then you wouldn't be on here asking what to do, because she could have explained the situation instead of reacting to you angrily and defensively.
You should apologize and then proceed as Womens4life suggested.
(Thanks Davros. FWIW, my username means "Williamson," not Womens. It doesn't make sense, but just wanted to point it out.)
OP, it is weird that your GF did what she did and something is definitely off, but you are not a victim here. You took a bad situation and made it worse, so own that.
It's not that you are not expected to be human and react, but you have to know that the way you reacted played a large part in where you are right now.
You have a chance to at least salvage it and have a conversation, if you will get over yourself.
(Thanks Davros. FWIW, my username means "Williamson," not Womens. It doesn't make sense, but just wanted to point it out.)
OP, it is weird that your GF did what she did and something is definitely off, but you are not a victim here. You took a bad situation and made it worse, so own that.
It's not that you are not expected to be human and react, but you have to know that the way you reacted played a large part in where you are right now.
You have a chance to at least salvage it and have a conversation, if you will get over yourself.
Oh I apologize for not being able to read. WMSN not WMNS.
She was stuck in the car during an argument and therefore couldn't stomp off or whatever people do to distance themselves from a stressful situation so she sent a text to a friend.
Making a big deal out of this allows you to avoid resolving whatever it was you were actually arguing about.
Is it likely she chose this guy to text because she knew it would **** you off the most? Yep!
Man up and drop it. It isn't about that other guy. Unless you make it so.
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WMSN not WMNS. 
