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But I still think it's crazy that men shouldn't even say hi to women in certain situations. I think being social should be encouraged and no mentally healthy woman would feel threatened by simple friendliness. I know Northeasterners don't like to say hi to strangers, but I enjoy being friendly and acknowledging that people I don't personally know actually do exist.
Society has become less and less social due to more indirect methods of communication (email, texting, etc.) and as a result, developed a very warped sense of reality. You are right. It IS crazy for men not to initiate even a greeting to women. Humans are social creatures, we need to interact with one another on a general level because that's what socializing all about- talking, looking, smiling, making gestures, etc. Socializing isn't about making smileys from punctuation marks and sending winks.
Males are the aggressors and so they are the initiators. Females are passive so they are the "goal" (for a lack of a better word) in which the males direct their energy towards. I don't know any female who would freak out if a male just said hi to her out of the blue in public. If she did, she'd be really immature and super f*cking weird and awkward. I think that's people born in the very late 80s and 90s who are socially retarded because they grew up with the internet on 24/7 so if they want something, they'd just order it online and they were overly sheltered and cautious because the To Catch a Predator series was on while they were growing up/becoming of age. They have no idea that in the real world, strangers talk to each other all the time, for any and all reasons and it's not always sex driven as to why males would talk to females. Sometimes there isn't even a greeting and there's conversation that started off the bat.
I was born in the mid 80s...right at the peak of the AIDS scare so that population of kids born in the mid 80s is rather low compared to those born in the late 80s and 90s. However, I didn't grow up becoming of age with the internet as the mainframe. I grew up with the internet being dimly lit in the background and I used it for school research and occasionally I had used it to email my pen pals who were in different countries. But other than that, my "generation" is not into online stuff. We're probably the last of the old skool mentality (preference for meeting people in real life vs online) and now that everything has turned online, people my age are having a real rough time with it (including me). We're just use to roaming around aimlessly in public and meeting people that way. Most people I meet around my age are very ANTI online everything and say it rots the brain.
I remember when I was doing my undergrads, one of my roommates' female cousins was going to MIT and so we went to visit that cousin (we all went to schools in Boston). There was controversy at the school because there was talks about making it mandatory for all students to take socialization class because the school was concerned that their students were all becoming anti-social LOL My roommate's cousin was exceedingly overweight, she ate nothing but pizza, never let her dorm room, constantly doing math problems, wouldn't talk to anyone that wasn't a relative or a teacher, frightful that her classmates would steal her answers. Yeah, thought that was totally necessary because we all knew MIT people were tech nerds and were social pariahs. This was more than 10 years ago. It's wayyyy worse now.
Last edited by hellokittykatt; 12-05-2014 at 02:08 AM..
Society has become less and less social due to more indirect methods of communication (email, texting, etc.) and as a result, developed a very warped sense of reality. You are right. It IS crazy for men not to initiate even a greeting to women. Humans are social creatures, we need to interact with one another on a general level because that's what socializing all about- talking, looking, smiling, making gestures, etc. Socializing isn't about making smileys from punctuation marks and sending winks.
Males are the aggressors and so they are the initiators. Females are passive so they are the "goal" (for a lack of a better word) in which the males direct their energy towards. I don't know any female who would freak out if a male just said hi to her out of the blue in public. If she did, she'd be really immature and super f*cking weird and awkward. I think that's people born in the very late 80s and 90s who are socially retarded because they grew up with the internet on 24/7 so if they want something, they'd just order it online and they were overly sheltered and cautious because the To Catch a Predator series was on while they were growing up/becoming of age. They have no idea that in the real world, strangers talk to each other all the time, for any and all reasons and it's not always sex driven as to why males would talk to females. Sometimes there isn't even a greeting and there's conversation that started off the bat.
I was born in the mid 80s...right at the peak of the AIDS scare so that population of kids born in the mid 80s is rather low compared to those born in the late 80s and 90s. However, I didn't grow up becoming of age with the internet as the mainframe. I grew up with the internet being dimly lit in the background and I used it for school research and occasionally I had used it to email my pen pals who were in different countries. But other than that, my "generation" is not into online stuff. We're probably the last of the old skool mentality (preference for meeting people in real life vs online) and now that everything has turned online, people my age are having a real rough time with it (including me). We're just use to roaming around aimlessly in public and meeting people that way. Most people I meet around my age are very ANTI online everything and say it rots the brain.
I remember when I was doing my undergrads, one of my roommates' female cousins was going to MIT and so we went to visit that cousin (we all went to schools in Boston). There was controversy at the school because there was talks about making it mandatory for all students to take socialization class because the school was concerned that their students were all becoming anti-social LOL My roommate's cousin was exceedingly overweight, she ate nothing but pizza, never let her dorm room, constantly doing math problems, wouldn't talk to anyone that wasn't a relative or a teacher, frightful that her classmates would steal her answers. Yeah, thought that was totally necessary because we all knew MIT people were tech nerds and were social pariahs. This was more than 10 years ago. It's wayyyy worse now.
This is why I feel I was born into the wrong generation. I was born in 1990, but I would have loved to have grown up in the 70's, 80's, etc. I like to think myself as a very social person, but some people nowadays just seem to be in their own world.
Society has become less and less social due to more indirect methods of communication (email, texting, etc.) and as a result, developed a very warped sense of reality. You are right. It IS crazy for men not to initiate even a greeting to women. Humans are social creatures, we need to interact with one another on a general level because that's what socializing all about- talking, looking, smiling, making gestures, etc. Socializing isn't about making smileys from punctuation marks and sending winks.
Males are the aggressors and so they are the initiators. Females are passive so they are the "goal" (for a lack of a better word) in which the males direct their energy towards. I don't know any female who would freak out if a male just said hi to her out of the blue in public. If she did, she'd be really immature and super f*cking weird and awkward. I think that's people born in the very late 80s and 90s who are socially retarded because they grew up with the internet on 24/7 so if they want something, they'd just order it online and they were overly sheltered and cautious because the To Catch a Predator series was on while they were growing up/becoming of age. They have no idea that in the real world, strangers talk to each other all the time, for any and all reasons and it's not always sex driven as to why males would talk to females. Sometimes there isn't even a greeting and there's conversation that started off the bat.
I was born in the mid 80s...right at the peak of the AIDS scare so that population of kids born in the mid 80s is rather low compared to those born in the late 80s and 90s. However, I didn't grow up becoming of age with the internet as the mainframe. I grew up with the internet being dimly lit in the background and I used it for school research and occasionally I had used it to email my pen pals who were in different countries. But other than that, my "generation" is not into online stuff. We're probably the last of the old skool mentality (preference for meeting people in real life vs online) and now that everything has turned online, people my age are having a real rough time with it (including me). We're just use to roaming around aimlessly in public and meeting people that way. Most people I meet around my age are very ANTI online everything and say it rots the brain.
I remember when I was doing my undergrads, one of my roommates' female cousins was going to MIT and so we went to visit that cousin (we all went to schools in Boston). There was controversy at the school because there was talks about making it mandatory for all students to take socialization class because the school was concerned that their students were all becoming anti-social LOL My roommate's cousin was exceedingly overweight, she ate nothing but pizza, never let her dorm room, constantly doing math problems, wouldn't talk to anyone that wasn't a relative or a teacher, frightful that her classmates would steal her answers. Yeah, thought that was totally necessary because we all knew MIT people were tech nerds and were social pariahs. This was more than 10 years ago. It's wayyyy worse now.
Good post here my friend. Parents are to blame for a lot of this as well. No one let's their kids play outside anymore or even really knows their neighbors. Socialization is so important in getting jobs, maintaining relationships, everything. Check out the jobs message board. I betcha the same group of people who post "I am a 57 year old virgin and afraid of women, is this normal? Are the same people posting on the job boards: "I sit at my desk all day and do my job good, why shouldn't I get promotion, I don't need to talk to anyone!"
Um yes you do! Life is about being social, if you are not social, and you are fine with that, more power to you (this is rare) if you get on message boards and are expecting sympathy, JUST NO! Life is not meant to be behind a computer screen all day over analyzing everything and doing nothin about it.
Good post here my friend. Parents are to blame for a lot of this as well. No one let's their kids play outside anymore or even really knows their neighbors. Socialization is so important in getting jobs, maintaining relationships, everything. Check out the jobs message board. I betcha the same group of people who post "I am a 57 year old virgin and afraid of women, is this normal? Are the same people posting on the job boards: "I sit at my desk all day and do my job good, why shouldn't I get promotion, I don't need to talk to anyone!"
Um yes you do! Life is about being social, if you are not social, and you are fine with that, more power to you (this is rare) if you get on message boards and are expecting sympathy, JUST NO! Life is not meant to be behind a computer screen all day over analyzing everything and doing nothin about it.
I just chalk all this hand wringing about never asking a woman out down to evolution at its best, weeding out the weakest and less likely to survive.
As has always been the case. Does anyone really think all this neurosis and social anxiety is new? No, these people have always lived lives of quiet desperation through the ages. It's only the advent of the Internet that has given them a platform to complain and blame.
As has always been the case. Does anyone really think all this neurosis and social anxiety is new? No, these people have always lived lives of quiet desperation through the ages. It's only the advent of the Internet that has given them a platform to complain and blame.
Oh I think some of these people actually believe they're unique in history. "Special people" that no-one understands nor appreciates. But in reality society has rejected certain types of men and women ever since the beginning of time in all cultures. It's just unfortunate they have a voice now. Pity they didn't have ears as well. Maybe if they heard some of the advice they may think about changing their ways. But obtaining pity and attention from responses on a forum will have to suffice I guess.
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