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I've been in a casual relationship with a man for a few months and last Friday I asked him if he still only saw us a causal relationship. He said "I guess I feel that way". I told him that I wasn't sure if I could continue with the way that we are without it meaning anything to him.
We saw each other 4 days later and things felt different. I was able to sit in his arms and watch TV. I've never done that. He started to feel me up and all of a sudden he says "I'm being intimate." We did ended up having sex and even that was different. He KISSED me during it. He's NEVER done that. He's not big on kissing during sex.
After, we actually sat on the couch and watched a movie together. I fixed him a plate of food and after I was able to watch TV on his arm again. I felt compelled to tell him thank you for letting me lay on his arm and he said "your emotions..." Whatever that meant. lol
What I'm asking is, do you think that he's coming around? I feel like I jumped the gun on asking him anything right now anyway since all he's focused on right now his is grad school work and finals. I'm willing to take things slow if it means I'll get him in the end but I just want to know if it's just me who thinks he trying to show me by his actions that it means a little more to him.
I've been in a casual relationship with a man for a few months and last Friday I asked him if he still only saw us a causal relationship. He said "I guess I feel that way". I told him that I wasn't sure if I could continue with the way that we are without it meaning anything to him.
We saw each other 4 days later and things felt different. I was able to sit in his arms and watch TV. I've never done that. He started to feel me up and all of a sudden he says "I'm being intimate." We did ended up having sex and even that was different. He KISSED me during it. He's NEVER done that. He's not big on kissing during sex.
After, we actually sat on the couch and watched a movie together. I fixed him a plate of food and after I was able to watch TV on his arm again. I felt compelled to tell him thank you for letting me lay on his arm and he said "your emotions..." Whatever that meant. lol
What I'm asking is, do you think that he's coming around? I feel like I jumped the gun on asking him anything right now anyway since all he's focused on right now his is grad school work and finals. I'm willing to take things slow if it means I'll get him in the end but I just want to know if it's just me who thinks he trying to show me by his actions that it means a little more to him.
Thanks.
Lots of weird stuff here.
It sounds like he's doing what he has to do to keep being able to feel you up and have sex.
I mean, it would be better if he FELT those feelings instead of said and did things because of what you told him.
It sounds like he's doing what he has to do to keep being able to feel you up and have sex.
I mean, it would be better if he FELT those feelings instead of said and did things because of what you told him.
What weird stuff?
I don't think he's the type that would do stuff just because I wanted him to. We where having that conversation about casual relationships he told me "if you want to stop, I understand." So to me he was okay with just being friends and taking sex off the table.
It sounds like he's doing what he has to do to keep being able to feel you up and have sex.
I mean, it would be better if he FELT those feelings instead of said and did things because of what you told him.
I was thinking this too. But I thought maybe I could be wrong, so I was waiting for someone more experienced to answer.
He never kissed you during sex, but he did all this new stuff now because you threatened to cut off the sex if it was still casual. So, he's putting in a bit more effort to continue getting the sex.
And the "Your emotions..." Seems like it's not a good thing. Depending on his tone and how it was said, sounds like he thinks you're a bit worrisome with your feelings-rather than just enjoying the nice sex you have to make it complicated and/or mushy.
He likes sex, and he may even not mind being friends with you. But one thing he doesn't want is to get serious with you it seems. So if you want more then Friends with benefits, stopping the sex seems like a good idea. Many women tend to get overly attached to men through sex, however the men may not feel the same way and it leads to hurt feelings. I have seen this happen 15 times. So, if you can stop the sex and just be his friend, that may be better for your mental health in the long run.
Because continuing the sex & casual, hoping he'll come to love you is a great way to get hurt. As some of the women in my 15 have done.
I hate to say this...but it seems like he's more comfortable being huggy, etc. simply BECAUSE he's set the parameters. He has told you he only sees you as casual; therefore, he doesn't need to worry that you'll read too much into things.
This is just my experience, and there may be quite a few howls over this...but...any time in my life that a guy really wanted me, he moved mountains to get me, and there was ZERO ambiguity as to whether or not he wanted a relationship with me.
And any time I had to pull teeth, it just wasn't something that ultimately worked out.
This is just my experience, and there may be quite a few howls over this...but...any time in my life that a guy really wanted me, he moved mountains to get me, and there was ZERO ambiguity as to whether or not he wanted a relationship with me.
And any time I had to pull teeth, it just wasn't something that ultimately worked out.
I absolutely believe this and have experienced it as well.
I've been in a casual relationship with a man for a few months and last Friday I asked him if he still only saw us a causal relationship. He said "I guess I feel that way". I told him that I wasn't sure if I could continue with the way that we are without it meaning anything to him.
We saw each other 4 days later and things felt different. I was able to sit in his arms and watch TV. I've never done that. He started to feel me up and all of a sudden he says "I'm being intimate." We did ended up having sex and even that was different. He KISSED me during it. He's NEVER done that. He's not big on kissing during sex.
After, we actually sat on the couch and watched a movie together. I fixed him a plate of food and after I was able to watch TV on his arm again. I felt compelled to tell him thank you for letting me lay on his arm and he said "your emotions..." Whatever that meant. lol
What I'm asking is, do you think that he's coming around? I feel like I jumped the gun on asking him anything right now anyway since all he's focused on right now his is grad school work and finals. I'm willing to take things slow if it means I'll get him in the end but I just want to know if it's just me who thinks he trying to show me by his actions that it means a little more to him.
Thanks.
Listen to what he said to you. That is what he means.
Who doesn't kiss during sex? Why would you stay with a guy who doesn't kiss during intimacy? That right there should have told you he only saw it as a casual relationship, there was no need to ask.
I think you didn't want to believe what was right in front of you--his lack of emotional involvement and commitment, so you're trying to read into things that he's "coming around". That's not a good position to be in, trying to convince yourself that things are going in the direction you want them to go in.
You'd be better off with a guy who wants to be with you, and gives you no grounds for doubt, like JerZ says. And until you find that guy, no guy would be the way to go.
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