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Yeah, if he doesn't respond to the text, that would be my answer. Because as of now, I've initiated a few texts since we last saw each other and he has always responded. But it has always just been conversational things, because I wanted him to be the one initiating getting together again. The fact that he didn't step up and do that probably does say what I need to know...but if I leave it at that, I will definitely keep thinking about it/wondering. Whereas if I do decide to be a bit more direct, I'll get my answer either directly if he replies, or indirectly if that is the moment when he decides to start ignoring me.
I enjoyed the times that we spent together and am glad for those regardless, so there aren't really hard feelings, but I did like him and had hoped that it would turn into a relationship.
I enjoyed the times that we spent together and am glad for those regardless, so there aren't really hard feelings, but I did like him and had hoped that it would turn into a relationship.
OP:
Did you and the guy talk about what each of you wanted out of this fling?
Did you tell him what you wanted?
Did he tell you what he wanted?
Was anything discussed regarding turning the fling into a relationship?
No to all of that. We had only hung out a few times and were still getting to know each other, it hadn't gotten to the point to be that serious yet. I had "hoped" that it might lead to a relationship, but it hadn't come to the point that I was sure about it. On the communication side of things, we didn't really get past get-to-know-you convos and just various joking around/light-hearted conversations.
No to all of that. We had only hung out a few times and were still getting to know each other, it hadn't gotten to the point to be that serious yet. I had "hoped" that it might lead to a relationship, but it hadn't come to the point that I was sure about it. On the communication side of things, we didn't really get past get-to-know-you convos and just various joking around/light-hearted conversations.
Seems like it was a very short lived relationship.
It sucks, but it does happen.
From what I read on the internet flings are short lived relationships without any deep personal involvement. So that is something to consider before having another fling with someone else. If that is the case, then a relationship would not have happened in the first place.
This is a reason why it is important for the guy and the girl to be on the same page.
I got the impression that you wanted deep personal involvement but he did not. So both of you were not on the same page.
I'm not sure that "fling" was necessary the best way to describe it, but I wasn't sure of the best terminology to use. But yeah, I think that you are right that we ultimately weren't/aren't on the same page. Like I said, I don't really regret the situation because I did have fun getting to know him, but of course there is some disappointment.
Yeah but I know myself and, ridiculous or not, I really kind of do need more closure in order to move on. I don't need an explanation of why he doesn't want to see me anymore, but I do need to more solidly feel that it is the case. I do feel a slight bit of doubt (very slight, but enough that I don't feel closure), just based on a few things that he has said to me.
The first two responses on here, I might go with what you say.
You WANT more closure you don't need it however, you refuse to move on until you are satisfied that you have gotten what you want and you have convinced yourself that you just cannot move forward in your life until you get what you want.
I ended up texting him- "Hey, so do you want to see me again or are you trying to fade out? It's cool either way so no worries, but I'd rather just know outright."
And he responded with- "No I definitely want to hang out with you again. Sorry I haven't seen you in awhile. We had like 8 people from college come up and sleep in our house this weekend."
I feel like we probably still aren't on the same page, but maybe this means that I will get the chance to see him again in person to try to figure it out. Only if he takes the hint and initiates, though...
The ball is in his court now, just like it was before you sent the text.
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