Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The girls that I've known to be really into me were contacting me daily. When I meet a woman that doesn't do this, I just figure she's not interested.
Or maybe all women are different - so you've been assuming things about them based on other people - which isn't fair to them. Like Liberty said, maybe this woman assumes that you are interested in her because all the other men that were into her were contacting her daily and you haven't been doing that.
Don't play games. If you are interested in her - then ask her out again.
You had a great time Sunday and waited until Tuesday night to contact her, specifically because you were sitting back waiting for her to contact you and show interest first. Maybe that is your downfall.
I've been initiating so far. I'm the one that asked her out on the past two dates. There needs to be some reciprocation at some point. The least she can do is contact me once in awhile to see how I'm doing.
This is the 3rd woman in a row who has acted like this.
I've never done online dating and I never will, but I'm wondering whether meeting strangers and expecting some sort of amazing connection immediately, is one of the reasons it seems to be failing so many people. It's just too much, too soon and because these people are complete strangers, you think you can 'read' them but in reality you haven't got a clue what their actions really mean.
I have read so many threads now about guys giving up on women, that I am of the opinion online dating simply doesn't work for most people. Get back to real life, out there meeting people, bonding over shared interests, friends of friends scenarios.
I can't rep you, but I agree with you 100%. Maybe this is a bit off subject since Lafluer mentioned meeting her not though online dating. But I think online dating and that sort of thing works well for certain personalities, but not all. In the cases of those who it doesn't work for (those who *can't* form an immediate amazing connection with a stranger), the old fashion way is much better. Albeit, much slower and harder to find someone.
Maybe the expectations of online dating are creeping into other forms of dating.
Question for you LaFluer, you said you met this woman offline... but did you know her for any length of time before dating? Or did you meet her "cold?" Because if she still feels she barely knows you, than, while you didn't meet her online, the situation is still the same in that she barely knows you or you her (or could be, I really don't know what she's thinking... I am just throwing ideas around).
Perhaps you should deal with your anger and frustration first. It is not about flowers, or clothing. You use the phrase "these women", rather than the women I dated.
You are blaming women for your lack of success in the dating pool. RED FLAG.
Don't beat yourself up. I've always said true, deep long lasting love is like a rare comet event. I've had 4 pretty long term serious relationships in my life and out of those 2 I would say were a deep connection. And IMO you can't base your successes or failures on parameters like you described, it doesn't work that way. Oddly enough I met my serious loves when money, success, appearance, and having my act together was at all time lows and they were good, attractive, quality women. I've also found true, deep connection tends to happen when you're least seeking it.
Essentially, I'm not good enough for these women is what they're implicitly telling me. They think they can do better, or else they would "snag a good catch when they find it".
No, that is NOT what they are telling you. What they Are telling you is that there is no chemistry there that they are feeling. If there was, you would be feelingjt and so would they. So, you dated how many women before you came to such an absurd conclusion? 10? 30? 50? Tell us, please.
I have dated well over a hundred men... WELL over, in my lifetime. I have certainly had less than 10 serious relationships, actually I think about 8. Do the math.
You want to give up, fine. But that is on YOU. It is much easier to give up, than to pursue a goal and put in the effort it takes to accomplish said goal. And I expect that little personality trait comes through loud and clear.
The girls that I've known to be really into me were contacting me daily. When I meet a woman that doesn't do this, I just figure she's not interested.
This is a mistake! We like to be pursued, we want to know that you like us and want to give us attention. If it's true that you didnt contact her for two days after your date and youre sitting back and waiting to hear from her first, then youre giving a sign of disinterest. She feels like you lost interest in her, perhaps. Why should she bother with that when other guys are probably calling her every day.
Or maybe all women are different - so you've been assuming things about them based on other people - which isn't fair to them. Like Liberty said, maybe this woman assumes that you are interested in her because all the other men that were into her were contacting her daily and you haven't been doing that.
Don't play games. If you are interested in her - then ask her out again.
I've been initiating so far. I'm the one that asked her out on the past two dates. There needs to be some reciprocation at some point. The least she can do is contact me once in awhile to see how I'm doing.
This is the 3rd woman in a row who has acted like this.
Perhaps you should deal with your anger and frustration first. It is not about flowers, or clothing. You use the phrase "these women", rather than the women I dated.
You are blaming women for your lack of success in the dating pool. RED FLAG.
I'm not blaming them. I'm saying that I don't fit their mold despite having the qualities that are supposed to be attractive. There's something I'm missing or failing at. I get the chemistry argument, as I've been on some bad dates and you just knew it wasn't a good fit. But I'm also failing with the ones where there seems to be a connection between the two of us. That is not good.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
+1
