Well, I'm officially off the dating market... (ugly, support, women)
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I like her, but maybe I'm being delusional about her as well. I mean, what if she's only using me to get sex and free meals/drinks? After last night's comment, that's sort of what it seems at this point.
I guess it's worth it to see her one more time, to re-evaluate. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, behind that comment.
I'm beginning to see, though, why you like to see some reciprocity, at some point. I wonder if she'll offer to make you dinner, or take you to a game, or something, next time you see her.
And guys, dates don't need to involve money. If a woman likes you, she'll be thrilled to just walk or bike ride in the park with you, and feed the ducks.
I like her, but maybe I'm being delusional about her as well. I mean, what if she's only using me to get sex and free meals/drinks? After last night's comment, that's sort of what it seems at this point.
You could always just scale things back and see what happens before making a decision. If she likes you and still wants to do things with you even without spending money and nookie time... she'll stick around. If she bails, well, you have your answer. EDIT: Or who knows, maybe she will step up to the plate and start initiating more.
Crap, well I'll already invited her to dinner at my place tomorrow. I guess I'll have to break things off afterwards.
Go with your gut. It's telling you something, so listen to it.
I assume you didn't ask her for clarification on what taking things slow means. It doesn't sound like your conversation was all that productive and you really need to get to the heart of things without alcohol or spending the night.
Go with your gut. It's telling you something, so listen to it.
I assume you didn't ask her for clarification on what taking things slow means. It doesn't sound like your conversation was all that productive and you really need to get to the heart of things without alcohol or spending the night.
It was essentially the relationship aspect of it that she was hesitant about. I don't really understand it either, but hey, the girl from October said the same thing to me. Both told me that they really liked me, enjoyed our time together, etc. But that relationship OTOH? We're not so sure about that. Maybe they feel like the lack of "commitment" is less of a burden on them if it doesn't work out.
Some guys get friendzoned. I seem to get dating-zoned.
You could always just scale things back and see what happens before making a decision. If she likes you and still wants to do things with you even without spending money and nookie time... she'll stick around. If she bails, well, you have your answer. EDIT: Or who knows, maybe she will step up to the plate and start initiating more.
She did text me this morning telling me she had a great time last night and good luck on some projects I have going on at work that I talked to her about. Silver lining?
And guys, dates don't need to involve money. If a woman likes you, she'll be thrilled to just walk or bike ride in the park with you, and feed the ducks.
We were actually talking about some low-cost/free date ideas last night that she seemed thrilled about.
Dating should be fun. While I thought her remark about your entertainment budget was stupid and just awful, you may have startled her by your bad manners of asking her out for drink(s) at an expensive bar and then telling her to pay.
Despite your opinion on it, the rules of etiquette about "who pays" are well established and very clear. You are not ever going to find an etiquette expert that will tell you anything different from "if you extend an invitation, the onus is on you to be prepared to pay". If you can't afford to pay for expensive drinks then don't invite your dates out to expensive bars. Simple.
If you don't trust or care about "etiquette experts", here's an article on "who pays" from askmen.com, written by and for single men in particular.
I think you should pay more attention to your manners with regards to dating. It will help improve the impression you make. Poor manners are a deal breaker for lots of people.
Last edited by Butterflyfish; 01-22-2015 at 02:09 PM..
Dating should be fun. While I thought her remark about your entertainment budget was stupid and just awful, you may have startled her by your bad manners of asking her out for drink(s) at an expensive bar and then telling her to pay.
Despite your opinion on it, the rules of etiquette about "who pays" are well established and very clear. You are not ever going to find an etiquette expert that will tell you anything different. If you can't afford to pay for expensive drinks then don't invite your dates out to expensive bars. Simple.
If you don't trust or care about "etiquette experts", here's an article on "who pays" from askmen.com, written by and for single men in particular.
I think you should pay more attention to your manners with regards to dating. It will help improve the impression you make. Poor manners are a deal breaker for lots of people.
Dating isn't fun, it sucks. It's one of the main reasons why I haven't asked a woman out in over 2 months.
You had one drink, she had three drinks, and the bill was close to 100 dollars?
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