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"Greg" is one of those BRILLIANT guys that comes up a little short on the common sense side, I love him but he's very much the Absent-minded professor type ...so it makes understanding his emotional side a little harder I think- he's the only person I've ever not been able to figure out.
Greg and I were high school sweethearts. (We're 30 and 31 now) His mom and my mom are best friends...then we broke up and my family ended up moving out of state. We of course went our separate ways, to different universities and then he lived overseas for a while. Every couple of years, he would visit my blog or a random "hey how are you" message would be sent back and forth between us.
Fast forward to two years ago, I lost my fiance to cancer. He was the first one to send me a message of condolences. A few months later I ended up flying to his city for a work-related project and we decided to meet up. Had a wonderful evening, and he kissed me, joking I should have expected it. He said I was one of the "core people" in his life. We didn't end up having sex but did fool around a little bit. I told him half-jokingly that he better not hurt me again like he did in high school (we broke up because he needed more "him" time....kids, right?) He said he doesn't want to hurt me. He spent the night holding me, and when he left my hotel room the next day he said I needed to fly up again and see him.
About 6 months later, the opportunity arose again, and I flew to his city. This time, he was nowhere to be found. He didn't respond to my text (said he got a new phone and lost his contacts) and only responded when I reached out to him on facebook. We ended up hitting up a few bars and chatting but this time was different. He was friendly but his body language was different, though he still insisted on buying me dinner. At the end of the night we left separately.
Yet, he'll "like" certain status updates and photos of me, to this day.
I don't know if hes afraid I'll want a relationship, or if its because I'm a widow now....I can't figure out his feelings for me, if he has any. He's very hot-cold...and always has been. What do you think?
In case he hits around 37 starts to lose his hair and still hasn't landed the lingerie model who is also a corporate attorney you are the safety.
All he needs to do is lightly string you along without any real commitments and if there comes a time that he needs to settle down with a nice woman who shares a common background and value system you are a lock.
It's an averages game and while not all that romantic I think there is a place for it.
I suggest you do the same, start dating but keep Mr Maybe on a long run, who knows in five years you two might make a go of it.
I'll never understand why people try and rekindle something with exes. If you broke up, that usually means there is a pretty good reason why, right? It just seems so counterproductive to me. To me it just reeks of desperation. I've always believed when you break up stay broken up. There is only one ex of mine that I would even partly consider this, and she lives in Japan. Of course now I wouldn't even consider that.
My advice to the OP - forget about him and move on. It sounds like he hasn't changed a lot since high school. AND...I doubt he'll ever really change.
In case he hits around 37 starts to lose his hair and still hasn't landed the lingerie model who is also a corporate attorney you are the safety.
All he needs to do is lightly string you along without any real commitments and if there comes a time that he needs to settle down with a nice woman who shares a common background and value system you are a lock.
It's an averages game and while not all that romantic I think there is a place for it.
I suggest you do the same, start dating but keep Mr Maybe on a long run, who knows in five years you two might make a go of it.
Yeah. He's flakey to everyone, it's not just me that gets the hot cold treatment (this is a man that seriously considered joining the priesthood at one point) he's just so weird. But your comment makes sense. I wish he wouldn't have said something like "I've been waiting years for this moment to hold you"....makes it confusing, but I made peace with us just being friends years ago. What will be will be, it would just be nice to know where he stands exactly. Thanks for your insight
The only one who knows is him. Some guys are hard to figure it out. I'm sure it's confusing for you to hear him say he's been waiting for years to hold you, then the next time you see him he acts like you're just old friends. Maybe he met someone else between then and now?
Do you have feelings for him? Would you want to try to give your relationship another try? The only way to know for sure is to just ask him.
I don't know if hes afraid I'll want a relationship, or if its because I'm a widow now....I can't figure out his feelings for me, if he has any. He's very hot-cold...and always has been. What do you think?
Nah, I'm happy with things the way they are right now. Don't want to put awkwardness into a situation that doesn't need it. I'm not looking to reunite with him, I recognize that he doesn't have some of the characteristics I need in a significant other. I just think about him from time to time and sometimes I just want anonymous, impartial thoughts on it.
I'm thinking he just started dating someone he's into and was trying to keep things as platonic as possible with you so he wouldn't mess up things with the new person.
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...so it makes understanding his emotional side a little harder I think- he's the only person I've ever not been able to figure out.
