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Honestly don't tell anybody even a potential girlfriend or wife. If they ask just deflect and say you don't talk about that. Take your virginity to the grave.
Well, no offense, but that makes it sound like it's a thing I'm ashamed of. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I haven't had sex. It's just what it is for me being celibate for Christ. I just don't tell everybody because of reactions I get from other people, obviously stated in my introduction. So I actually like that I'm a virgin, but I don't like what so many say about it to me. That's what gets at me.
Sex is why we are here. Sex has no valid competition. The Holy Trinity has a LOT of formidable opponents vying for the Title of The One True Way. Christianity, it is not the only path forward Spiritually. To hear that someone is giving up Sex, so that they may more closely follow Christ makes me sad. It reminds me why I shouldn't think that there is no harm in a more "live and let live" attitude towards the faith walk of others. If the o.p. were my friend I would definitely have told them how pointless it is to make a sacrifice of that magnitude. I would also tell them that what is actually happening is that they are unconsciously suppressing a latent same sex attraction. A force as powerful as sexual attraction needs heavy artillery to defeat. Religion is about the only weaponry up to the job. The thing about big guns is that they are almost as lethal to the person firing as to the enemy. Recoil. Blowback. Dangerous. To mind AND body. The many millions of happy Christians who have partaken of the joys of sex ought to be proof enough that there is no detrimental result to jumping in. Their is admittedly still a little bit of prejudice that remains towards same sex attraction among Christians but it is pretty safe in 2015 to just go for it and be happy. Christ isn't doing it. I know he isn't. You are doing all the work. It's like playing Chess with yourself. Can't do it.
I tell people about my virginity whenever it comes up. I don't avoid the subject. It is no great secret. It is not embarrassing so there is no reason for it to be a secret.
Honestly I wouldn't even bring it up if it came up, although honestly I'm having trouble understanding how it could come up, especially if you're not in a romantic relationship with somebody. If you're just bringing up your virginity in conversations with platonic friends people may start to think that you're weird. It's a intimate private thing that only your girlfriend or potential girlfriend should know about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tyc113
Well, no offense, but that makes it sound like it's a thing I'm ashamed of. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I haven't had sex. It's just what it is for me being celibate for Christ. I just don't tell everybody because of reactions I get from other people, obviously stated in my introduction. So I actually like that I'm a virgin, but I don't like what so many say about it to me. That's what gets at me.
I probably exaggerated my response. There is nothing wrong with telling a girlfriend, though in a one night stand situation I would still keep quiet about it. Keep in mind though that many people don't even tell their girlfriends. It's not really a normal topic of conversation.
Sex is why we are here. Sex has no valid competition. The Holy Trinity has a LOT of formidable opponents vying for the Title of The One True Way. Christianity, it is not the only path forward Spiritually. To hear that someone is giving up Sex, so that they may more closely follow Christ makes me sad. It reminds me why I shouldn't think that there is no harm in a more "live and let live" attitude towards the faith walk of others. If the o.p. were my friend I would definitely have told them how pointless it is to make a sacrifice of that magnitude. I would also tell them that what is actually happening is that they are unconsciously suppressing a latent same sex attraction. A force as powerful as sexual attraction needs heavy artillery to defeat. Religion is about the only weaponry up to the job. The thing about big guns is that they are almost as lethal to the person firing as to the enemy. Recoil. Blowback. Dangerous. To mind AND body. The many millions of happy Christians who have partaken of the joys of sex ought to be proof enough that there is no detrimental result to jumping in. Their is admittedly still a little bit of prejudice that remains towards same sex attraction among Christians but it is pretty safe in 2015 to just go for it and be happy. Christ isn't doing it. I know he isn't. You are doing all the work. It's like playing Chess with yourself. Can't do it.
H
OK. In my defense, I think I can say this. I am not suppressing anything down. I am not hiding some sort of concealed secrecy. I spoke in honesty. I am honestly trying to be celibate and also celibate for Jesus. On top of that, I never said that sexuality was some sort of wicked thing. I never said that. It's a great gift for plenty of people. However, I am saying in my case, it may not actually be for me at all. I am honestly saying that it may not happen for me, especially if I don't get married. If that were to never happen and if if I were to be celibate for the rest of my life, then guess what? I would be satisfied with that.
Who knows if this "backfires" on me? You may be right. I don't know if it will or won't. I am just saying that for Christ's sake I want to stay celibate and am going to live this. And with plenty of joy. We'll see.
Sex is why we are here. Sex has no valid competition. The Holy Trinity has a LOT of formidable opponents vying for the Title of The One True Way. Christianity, it is not the only path forward Spiritually. To hear that someone is giving up Sex, so that they may more closely follow Christ makes me sad. It reminds me why I shouldn't think that there is no harm in a more "live and let live" attitude towards the faith walk of others. If the o.p. were my friend I would definitely have told them how pointless it is to make a sacrifice of that magnitude. I would also tell them that what is actually happening is that they are unconsciously suppressing a latent same sex attraction. A force as powerful as sexual attraction needs heavy artillery to defeat. Religion is about the only weaponry up to the job. The thing about big guns is that they are almost as lethal to the person firing as to the enemy. Recoil. Blowback. Dangerous. To mind AND body. The many millions of happy Christians who have partaken of the joys of sex ought to be proof enough that there is no detrimental result to jumping in. Their is admittedly still a little bit of prejudice that remains towards same sex attraction among Christians but it is pretty safe in 2015 to just go for it and be happy. Christ isn't doing it. I know he isn't. You are doing all the work. It's like playing Chess with yourself. Can't do it.
H
I am not saying that you are right or wrong. You may not be wrong about this. I mean, I haven't even gone on a date with a girl or kissed a girl, so I guess it could backfire on me. I'm just stating my point. It's a honest thing.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1
Honestly I wouldn't even bring it up if it came up, although honestly I'm having trouble understanding how it could come up, especially if you're not in a romantic relationship with somebody. If you're just bringing up your virginity in conversations with platonic friends people may start to think that you're weird. It's a intimate private thing that only your girlfriend or potential girlfriend should know about.
Nah, it happens. For example, on Undercover Boss tonight, the boss asked the worker to tell him more about himself and specifically asked if he was married. So in that situation I would say "no, girls aren't into me". So it might come up that way. It's not like I'm embarrassed. It's depressing but not embarrassing.
Nah, it happens. For example, on Undercover Boss tonight, the boss asked the worker to tell him more about himself and specifically asked if he was married. So in that situation I would say "no, girls aren't into me". So it might come up that way. It's not like I'm embarrassed. It's depressing but not embarrassing.
You're definitely different than most, lol.
There's no way I would be honest about that. I mean, I wouldn't lie and say I have a lot of experience, but I wouldn't say I'm a virgin or that girls aren't into me either. I'd say something in the middle of that.
And if someone judges him off of that then they're a shallow person. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin.
There kinda is. I mean... being a virgin is one thing. Wanting to remain one is quite another. Is it really shallow of a woman to expect that a guy in his 20's will have gotten over that particular life hurdle?
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