Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I can attest to the fact that women are sometimes socialized to be nice at any cost. ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple
Because women are nurtured to be nurturers and pleasers. ...
Also, what is subtle to a man may not be subtle to a woman. Because women are pushed to be agreeable all the time, many resort to subtle ways of communicating; when uncovered, it is seen as manipulative, because, well, it can be.
...I also know how much other women are closely reading me. This means it's hard to strike a balance between sending a signal to a man (whether positive or negative) in any kind of public sphere that he gets, but that does not reveal everything to female onlookers (who may be highly critical of you for it).
One wonders to what extent these various contrived limitations on women's behaviors, concocted and instituted in patriarchal societies with strongly delimited gender roles, would/should eventually dissipate in a more egalitarian world?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666
...things like advanced calculus (which I took in college), disease pathophysiology, and biochemistry are FAR easier than figuring out what a woman is subtly trying to tell me.
This science of things, is always more precise, more tractable and easier than the "science" of people.
I've certainly noticed trends with women and, despite what most women say, generalizing works well and is usually spot-on.
Case in point, three recent dating-ish situations for me:
1) A woman that I was set up with through a friend. This woman was nice, but extremely stand-offish. I couldn't tell whether she was interested in me and she made me do all of the work (ie: calling/texting). When I did call her, she was very receptive. However, I grew tired of this quickly and eventually stopped trying. I figured that there was a low amount of interest.
I later found out that I was wrong (through a mutual friend) and that she was very interested in me and wanted me to pursue her more.
2) A woman that I know from work. This woman was not very nice and extremely stand-offish. I couldn't tell whether she was interested in me and she made me do all of the work (ie: calling/texting). When I did call her, she was very receptive. However, I grew tired of this quickly and eventually stopped trying. I figured that there was a low amount of interest.
I later found out that I was wrong (through a mutual friend) and that she was very interested in me and wanted me to pursue her more.
3) I'm in the very early stages with another woman from work. This woman is nice, but mildly stand-offish. I can't tell whether she is interested in me and she makes me do all of the work (ie: calling/texting). When I do call her, she is very receptive.
However, I am way more interested in the third girl than the first two. So I'm just assuming interest and moving forward.
But you see? I pretty much copied and pasted the same thing for three different women. This has also happened to me many other times.
Most women (and I'm sure most men) are the same, with minor differences in the details.
ETA: These women are all attractive late 20s - early 30s professional women.
You missed my point. My point is that if you are interested in someone - find out about them. You don't seem to have a very high opinion of women. I don't think that's going to work in your favor. You can treat women however you want to but somewhere along the line, your disdain is probably going to show.
And honestly, if I'm interested in someone that I'm dating - I'm pretty obvious about it.
I've got news for you. There are scientifically proven differences in women and men. That includes psychology. Of course no one is exactly the same. But there are tendencies among the genders (probably also news to you). Understanding and appreciating those differences can only be a positive thing.
P.S. Just because I showed a little softness and empathy, doesn't mean you will run over me
It's like we are speaking two different languages.
My point - stop blaming women. You come off as a bitter misogynist .
Your point - you've got news for me? And you are showing softness and empathy? What?
I've certainly noticed trends with women and, despite what most women say, generalizing works well and is usually spot-on.
Case in point, three recent dating-ish situations for me:
1) A woman that I was set up with through a friend. This woman was nice, but extremely stand-offish. I couldn't tell whether she was interested in me and she made me do all of the work (ie: calling/texting). When I did call her, she was very receptive. However, I grew tired of this quickly and eventually stopped trying. I figured that there was a low amount of interest.
I later found out that I was wrong (through a mutual friend) and that she was very interested in me and wanted me to pursue her more.
2) A woman that I know from work. This woman was not very nice and extremely stand-offish. I couldn't tell whether she was interested in me and she made me do all of the work (ie: calling/texting). When I did call her, she was very receptive. However, I grew tired of this quickly and eventually stopped trying. I figured that there was a low amount of interest.
I later found out that I was wrong (through a mutual friend) and that she was very interested in me and wanted me to pursue her more.
3) I'm in the very early stages with another woman from work. This woman is nice, but mildly stand-offish. I can't tell whether she is interested in me and she makes me do all of the work (ie: calling/texting). When I do call her, she is very receptive.
However, I am way more interested in the third girl than the first two. So I'm just assuming interest and moving forward.
But you see? I pretty much copied and pasted the same thing for three different women. This has also happened to me many other times.
Most women (and I'm sure most men) are the same, with minor differences in the details.
ETA: These women are all attractive late 20s - early 30s professional women.
Frankly, I just think young people can be very terrible at dating. They employ all sorts of bogus rules and games that they think must be played in order to attract a mate. I've very much dealt with the same thing you've dealt with and it's pretty annoying. I've talked to young women about this "strategy" and many of them say the same thing about it; they don't want to come on too strong or appear desperate or clingy. So they play hard to get or standoffish which is often times to their own detriment. Young people tend to want to play the same games they grew up playing in high school and college IME. They haven't quite transitioned to the adult world of dating.
Bottom line is that it can be mildly frustrating dating in your 20s and 30s when you have to deal with the immature nonsense from either sex. Not to say that older people don't play games, but you'll probably find fewer that do in comparison to the 20s and 30s demographic.
Until I came to this site, I had no idea I was genetically predisposed to be an evil heartless skank who only pursues the top 2.6% of men!
There are bad seeds in either gender, but not everyone is a bad seed. Some people here have a difficult time wrapping their mind around either of these two concepts.
What's very interesting to me is women's reactions. While guys are doing outrageous stuff and women are clearly like "WTF is wrong with this f-in weirdo?!?" on the outside - that reaction is not proportionately represented on the outside - in their facial expressions and body language and definitely not in what they say verbally. If you look closely you will of course see signs of discomfort and disinterest and nervousness but they're are "muffled". The women are putting on a "nice face", throwing in "kind smiles" and even pretending verbally that they can relate to what the guy is doing and they even NOD! They nod as if the guy is doing something "somewhat normal" and they can relate.
This mind boggling to me. Of course, this is an extreme example but it shows a general tendency in how women behave. Why do they behave like this?
Do they do this social experiment switching genders. Curious as to how men react in the same situation.
Anyway, its speed dating. spending a very short time engaging with a stranger. Most civilized people are taught to be polite even in bad or potential confrontational situations.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
