spy gadgets and your SO (wife, girlfriend, married, loyalty)

[HappyFarm34]

I saw a clip on the news this evening that caught my attention. A local business states that folks buying spy related gadgets such as GPS to track their SO's whereabouts is on the rise.

All I can think was if people can't trust what their SO is doing then whats the point of being in a relationship.

My take is when a person is in an exclusive relationship, it needs to be based on honesty, respect, communicating one's needs and wants, loyalty..,

[Prince_Frog]

people love to snoop. Especially jealous, bored ones.

[Stagemomma]

I didn't trust my SO because he lied to me, and it was already clear to me our relationship was in the crapper. Since he was in denial, and refused to admit that anything was wrong, let alone that he was behaving inappropriately, I needed PROOF.

I wasn't particularly jealous (she was welcome to him!) and I most certainly was not bored...I had two small children and was in school at the time. I bought a GPS tracker, hid it in his car, and printed out the maps to show him that he was most certainly NOT going to work at 5am, but to his girlfriend's house. I also showed them to my lawyer.

Had my husband not cooperated in proceeding with the divorce on my timeline, I would have shown them to his parents. If I had been dealing with an honest person with integrity, I would not have needed to 'snoop'.

[Skydive Outlaw]

Originally Posted by Prince_Frog

people love to snoop

It's not snooping:

It is Information Acquisition and wanting to know the truth is usually a direct result of sensing that you are with someone that is a manipulative, deceptive liar.

I am a proponent of using any means necessary to find out the truth, if and when you think you are with someone that could be cheating.

The infidelity by the other party involved in the relationship is an assault on your time, effort and energy - that you could better redirect towards your own goals, dreams and aspirations rather than into the façade and charade known as the relationship you are in, which if cheating is occurring: you are in the relationship due to the fraudulent acts of the person you are with who is only able to cheat because he/she is manipulating and lying.

In order for liars to get away with their lies, the only thing that is necessary is for honest people with integrity to sit back passively and continue trusting. . . . .

Two words: FCK THAT !

There are more direct ways to catch a partner that is cheating then attempting to go covert ops on the situation, which I can attest to the fact that it gets expensive, especially if you want results.

Approaching a partner about potential cheating with the suggestion that he/she should take a polygraph test (about $225-275) would result in either one of two outcomes. The potential cheater will agree to the test, take it and pass or the potential cheater will create a wide range of excuses for not taking one, while calling you possessive and jealous (and even crazy) and the act of not agreeing to take one is in itself an admission of guilt.

With new technology these days, it is very possible to go another route and with some time and effort find out for sure if the person you are with is cheating. Once again, if or when someone is lying and committing infidelity, then that act is an assault on your life and although you do not have the legal right to keep the person in a relationship with you while expecting monogamy, you do have a moral and ethical right to find out the truth.

It is safe to assume though that if and when you suspect cheating that 80% of the time it is happening and trusting your intuition is priceless.

The best part about catching someone that is cheating is being able to find out the truth, walk away from a relationship that was a façade and a charade and be the one that is standing on moral high ground when you extract from the lie known as the relationship. Time is a finite resource and nobody has the right to F with your emotions, take up your time and expect you to play along with the joke known as a relationship that involves cheating.

[YAZ]

Most cell phones already have a GPS locator built in. Verizon charges around ten bucks per month for their "Family Locator" feature. Not fantastic as it'll only "ping" the phone within a one mile radius or so. But it's easy to see if your wild wife is in Phoenix or Tempe.

And the phone has to be turned on........

There's a really cool "recorder pen" that I've heard about. A digital tape recorder that looks like a pen that can record up to thirty minutes. Voice activated too......

Please understand that I wasn't your typical overly paranoid jealous husband. My ex-wife had been institutionalized TWICE while we were married. She did some rather outlandish things because of her mental condition and lieing was on the lighter side of her activities.

I truly loved her and my spying was simply to KNOW what she was up to. She had put herself in some precarious situations that only a loving husband could deal with.

In the end, it didn't matter. She snapped and will never fully recover. But I know in my heart that I gave 100% to save our marriage.

[justmeinca]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

I saw a clip on the news this evening that caught my attention. A local business states that folks buying spy related gadgets such as GPS to track their SO's whereabouts is on the rise.

All I can think was if people can't trust what their SO is doing then whats the point of being in a relationship.

My take is when a person is in an exclusive relationship, it needs to be based on honesty, respect, communicating one's needs and wants, loyalty..,

They need the proof of infidelity to build cases again their (cheating) SOs.

BTW, Valentine's Day is busiest day for 'Private Investigators'...

[elnina]

Almost every spy/stalker have some type of mental or emotional problem ... including being emotionally immature, extremely jealous, controlling, insecure, have low self esteem, etc.
But some forms of spying aren't just offensive – they’re illegal. Information a spouse uncovers about you via illegal spying might be not useful against you directly in a divorce action or custody battle. Even though there is no law that specifically bans the use of GPS tracking devices, your spouse could have claims for trespass and invasion of privacy.

[Lilac110]

If your trust is that far gone that you have to resort to any of this, then your relationship is pretty much over.

If your partner is cheating, it's over.

But if your partner is not cheating, and your partner is SMART and worthy of having a relationship with in the first place, your partner will dump you because no self-respecting adult wants to have a relationship with a deceitful, paranoid freak who has no respect for privacy, thinks nothing of vandalizing private property with malware such as trackers and keystroke loggers, and can't muster the nads to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk like a grown-up.

[TabulaRasa]

Seriously, if the trust in your relationship is on this shaky of ground, you don't even really have a relationship. You just have a holding pattern, and at some point, it'll crash in on itself.

If something doesn't feel right to you, talk about it. If you can't talk about it/don't trust the outcome of the conversation, your relationship isn't going anywhere, anyway.

[rumpa]

I gathered information on my ex husbands indiscretions using such technology. It's a nice bit of blackmail if he decides to contest my terms.