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How do you even get to that point in the first place? And more importantly, how do you know they "clicked?"
Please, the more information you can give me on the right steps to take, the better!
I have felt a strong connection with a man 4 times in my life. I am 48. So, it doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen. All 4 times, I felt it right away, within moments of meeting that person.
Feeling that connection does not mean that love will grow, but in my opinion, love cannot happen if that connection is not there. And it's just there, or it just isn't there. You can't force it either way.
There isn't a whole lot of rational decision making involved in the process, things just progress organically on their own. There isn't anxiety about "oh gosh, should I text him/her? Should I call? Is it too soon? Oh, what to do?"
You're approaching it scientifically, and it's not a science. Your questions cannot be answered in those terms.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosebyanothername
All of that sounds way too analytical to me. If I had to think about all of the questions you brought up before I started a new relationship, I would be exhausted before I finished answering them!
(On the other hand, if I had thought of some of them before I got into some of my relationships, maybe I would not have so many that failed
Quote:
Originally Posted by GravityMan
You are being way too analytical/technical and overthinking all of this, OP. There is no "standardization" in dating or relationships.
I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I have never been in one in my entire life so I have to go to reference materials (Papers/research studies) to frame the concept. It's not that I don't want to be in one, I just have absolutely no idea how to accomplish the best result from it.
All I want to do is go by the set standard which everybody else follows, that's what I'm trying to study. Everybody else is in so many relationships, I just want to have one of my own!
The concept of having a girlfriend seems preposterous to me. The amount of work involved to get a girlfriend and then actually keep a woman interested over a long period of time seems impossible.
I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I have never been in one in my entire life so I have to go to reference materials (Papers/research studies) to frame the concept. It's not that I don't want to be in one, I just have absolutely no idea how to accomplish the best result from it.
All I want to do is go by the set standard which everybody else follows, that's what I'm trying to study. Everybody else is in so many relationships, I just want to have one of my own!
You can't do that.
It's nonsensical because you are not everyone else, and that "standard knowledge" does not exist.
You have to follow your own heart, stop comparing yourself to others, and look with your own eyes.
A lot of people always try to find the easy way with everything.
You can't do that with relationships. If you do....it won't lead to lasting happiness.
I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I have never been in one in my entire life so I have to go to reference materials (Papers/research studies) to frame the concept. It's not that I don't want to be in one, I just have absolutely no idea how to accomplish the best result from it.
All I want to do is go by the set standard which everybody else follows, that's what I'm trying to study. Everybody else is in so many relationships, I just want to have one of my own!
You mean, like "standard knowledge"?
Anyway, have you never felt feelings of attraction for someone before? Or really liked being around someone?
I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I have never been in one in my entire life so I have to go to reference materials (Papers/research studies) to frame the concept. It's not that I don't want to be in one, I just have absolutely no idea how to accomplish the best result from it.
All I want to do is go by the set standard which everybody else follows, that's what I'm trying to study. Everybody else is in so many relationships, I just want to have one of my own!
My point about experience was that it's not something you can study, it's not something that you can learn from 'reference materials'. You have to bite the bullet and get out there and make it happen.
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