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Old 03-03-2015, 05:24 PM
 
55 posts, read 161,129 times
Reputation: 25

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I met this guy about 8-9 weeks ago, and we've been doing a play together. It was basically instant attraction from me, and we both get along really, really well. Even my friend told me that he and I have great chemistry. He looks at me and smiles a lot, if he makes a joke, I'm often the first person he looks at, he's adjusted his socks when I'm the only person around, has kissed my hand once, and has referred to me as "girlfriend" (as in, 'excuse me, girlfriend' or 'girlfriend, what were you doing?') He's not used that term with anyone else in the cast. So, I decided at the end of the show's run to ask him on a date. Trouble is, and he's mentioned this at cast parties to other people, but he's quite busy. We're both adults, and his job keeps him extremely busy (he mentioned, not to me, but to another person and I was in earshot, that when he's not doing a show, he often works until 7 or 8 at night) and he's getting ready to go overseas for a week for work. So, I thought that might be a problem.

Anyway, I asked him "Do you want to go to dinner sometime this week?", and he didn't say no... However, very matter-of-factly, he stated, "Well, I've got such and such project on Monday, this thing on Tuesday..." Obviously, he stated exactly what he was doing and didn't say "such and such" or "this thing". I asked about a specific day of the week, and he said, "Well, that's the day I do this thing for work." It's all work related stuff. Now, he is a legit very busy person, and work doesn't give him much time off, and especially with his trip overseas soon, he seems rather booked. I told him, "Well, you can let me know."

Obviously, there are two possibilities: 1. He does have interest; however, just doesn't have the time right now. 2. He was just letting me down gently by saying he was too busy.

Though, this was quite funny, all of the cast was going to a restaurant to eat dinner not far from the theatre, and I happened to be following him to the place (because I didn't know where it was), and he actually took a wrong turn even though he knew where it was. Lost in thought perhaps?

I told my best friend about this, and he thinks I should keep in contact with him, like every 2-3 days, just to catch up and stay visible in his life, and try asking him out again after he's back from overseas.

I just wanted to get other people's take on this. I think it's a great idea to try again when he's got fewer responsibilities on his plate. And, I don't think I should be discouraged by him not being able to when I first asked him because, many people have to ask the same person a few times before they actually go on a date. Very few get one on the first try, and I figure if you want something, go for it (unless he clearly gives you the red light and says he's absolutely not interested). What are your opinions?
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Old 03-03-2015, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Banana Republic, LA
378 posts, read 1,208,060 times
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I don't know anything about this guy but one thing I know for sure about all men.... If they like you they will move heaven and earth to be with you. You've already asked him out, so he knows you have an interest. I would not initiate any more contact with him, just be friendly if you see him. Maybe send a text when he gets back from his trip but NO MORE than that... and only one. If he doesn't take it from there he has no interest in you, sorry.
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Old 03-03-2015, 05:33 PM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,652,371 times
Reputation: 12523
Your friend suggested you should keep in contact. How? Texting? Do the two of you text now, or would this be new?

I think you made the first move. Now the ball is in his court. Just my opinion.
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Old 03-03-2015, 05:36 PM
 
55 posts, read 161,129 times
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Texting, yes. We've texted before, but not that often.
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Old 03-03-2015, 05:58 PM
 
3,201 posts, read 4,416,091 times
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maybe my synapses are misfiring but the part about "adjusting his socks in front of me" completely went over my head

some new courtship ritual the youngsters are doing?

perhaps a thespian thing?
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Old 03-03-2015, 06:01 PM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,652,371 times
Reputation: 12523
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCode View Post
Texting, yes. We've texted before, but not that often.

In that case, one text after he is home would be OK. But I would not do it every few days. Good luck!
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Old 03-03-2015, 06:01 PM
 
55 posts, read 161,129 times
Reputation: 25
Just something I've read relating to body language of attraction. In fact it's one of the surefire ways to tell. It's preening basically. The guy wanting to look his best and whatnot when someone attractive is around.
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Old 03-03-2015, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,198,855 times
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Are you both men? If you are a woman - is there any chance that he is gay?
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Old 03-03-2015, 06:04 PM
 
55 posts, read 161,129 times
Reputation: 25
I'm a woman and he's a man, nope he's not gay. This I know.
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Old 03-03-2015, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,198,855 times
Reputation: 22276
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCode View Post
I'm a woman and he's a man, nope he's not gay. This I know.
Then I'll be honest, and take this with a grain of salt because I don't know him but I would assume that he was letting you down gently. Most people do their best to make something happen with the person they are interested in asks them out. If they are too busy - they'll usually let it be known that they really do want to go out and will try to set something up soon. I'm not saying that you should give up if you really like this guy - I just wouldn't get your hopes up too high.
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